


Side Dishes

by bringmesomepie, LeahCat



Series: Side Dishes [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Condoms, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Nightmares, Pregnant Dean, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Sick Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-03-21 11:37:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 51,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3690819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bringmesomepie/pseuds/bringmesomepie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeahCat/pseuds/LeahCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss... That's the trade-off. But I'll take it all.<br/>~ Brad Pitt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning of The End

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last story of The Side Dishes Series. It's been great! Me and MCRgurl have had a great time writing these stories and don't wanna see it end, but we all knew it was gonna happen soon enough. Enjoy the beginning of the end :D

“Are you sure you’re not just sick with a stomach bug or flu or something?” Cas asked hoping it was something other than baby related.

“Charlie was the one who forced me to take a test this morning. I was gonna tell you when I got home at 4, but Jess saw me make a mad dash to the teachers bathroom twice before making me take a half day.”

“But we have been using condoms religiously.” Cas informed.

Dean nodded. “I know, babe, and condoms are known to break.”

“So we’re gonna have another baby.” Cas sighed.

Dean sighed and set Ryan on the ground and walked on his knees over to Cas and cupped his jaw. “Honey, I know you weren’t exactly game for another one, but God wants us to raise one more and I think we can do that. Lucky number seven can be our end number, right?”

Cas smiled. “I’m up for a challenge. Hell, we raised newborn triplets while I was pregnant with twins and then raised the 5 year old triplets while you were pregnant with Riley all during the death of your mother and the lose of our daughter’s leg.”

“Don’t forget raising triplets, a singleton, and twins while I had a melt down and Ethan got a beat down.” Dean laughed.

Cas smiled and kissed his husband. Dean could smell Cas’ lunch in his breath. It made him insanely nauseous. He pulled away and rose to his feet. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna grab a water from the kitchen.” Dean walked away holding his flat stomach. He stepped into the kitchen and was hit with the overwhelming scent of whatever Cas had for lunch. He immediately covers his mouth with his hand and gagged. He turned on his heels and darted to the nearest bathroom.

He dropped to his knees and retched up what was left of food in his stomach. He lifted his head from the toilet to see Cas standing the doorway holding the twins on each hip. “Are you better now?”

Dean took a shaky breath. “Yeah, I’m good for now. What did you have for lunch?”

“Leftover chicken.”

“I always forget about this part of pregnancy.” Dean stood and flipped on the sink.

“I’m gonna put Ryan and Lyric down for their nap. You should do the same.” Cas turned and walked down the hall. He walked into the bedroom and slipped under some looser fitting clothes and laid down on the bed and drifted to sleep.

_*** &^%$#@$%^&*()(*&^%$#%^&*(** _

When he woke up it was pitch black in the room. He was still exhausted, but he looked up at the clock and saw the red glow that read 1:15.

He heard the soft snore of Cas beside him. He had really slept the through the sweet peas getting home and having supper and getting ready for bed. He sat up and pulled himself out of bed to grabbed a glass of water for his dry, raspy throat from all the puking the day before. As he stepped into the kitchen he saw Haley sitting at the kitchen table with her back facing the door.

He walked around the table and pulled the chair out across from her when he realized she had fallen asleep at the table. He head was laying on her arms and drool ran off her forearm. Dean gently shook her shoulder until she blinked awake and groggily looked up at the person who shook her.

“Hey, honey, what are you doing in here?”

“I had a nightmare.” She mumbled.

“So why didn’t you wake me or Papa up?” Dean smiled.

She shrugged. “Papa told us not to wake you up and he doesn’t like to be woken up because of a bad dream…y’all won’t let me sleep with you anymore.”

“So why are you in the kitchen?”

“It’s safe in the kitchen.” Haley exclaimed like it made perfect sense.

Dean nodded. “Uh-Huh…Haley, you can always come and wake me and Papa up. Our door is always open. Just cause we won’t let you sleep with us, doesn’t mean we won’t comfort you.”

“Are you ok, Daddy? Papa said you weren’t feeling well today.” She rubbed her eyes.

Dean smiled and rose to his feet. “Come on, baby girl, we’re going to a proper bed.”

Haley immediately shook her head. “No, not my room…it’s scary.”

“Haley…” Dean crouched down in front of his youngest triplet. “Nothing is going to hurt you in your room. You’re safe.”

“But, I’m scared.”

Dean stood once again. “I promise it’s not scary at all.” He stretched out his hand to his daughter. She took it and they walked to her room. Once they got there Dean let Haley get on the bed. “I’m going to go to bathroom, but I’ll be right back.”

He was almost in the bathroom when he saw Cas stepping out of the bedroom. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing up?” Cas crossed his arms over his chest.

“I was gonna get a drink of water, but I saw that Haley was in the kitchen, then I noticed she was asleep at the kitchen table. She had a nightmare and since she can’t sleep with us anymore she thought the kitchen was the next safest place. So I’m going to the bathroom, and to make her happy I’ll sleep in her bedroom just for tonight.”

Cas shook his head. “Dean. We can just keep babying her like that.”

“I can’t control her nightmares, Cas. If I could she would be dreaming of nothing but rainbows and unicorns. She wants to feel safe and I’m sorry that she feels safe in the arms of her Dad’s.”

“I’m sorry. I forget that Haley is a Daddy’s girl, but acts exactly like me.” Cas sighed.

“Just for tonight, I want her to know that her room is safe.”

Cas nodded and walked over to his husband. “I don’t want you to go into work tomorrow. What we thought was a stomach which turned out to be morning sickness has really taken a toll on you and you need rest. Take tomorrow off and go back on Monday.”

Dean placed his hands on Cas’s shoulder. “I know you didn’t really want another kid, but I really want this one. This one can be our last.”

“”God must have wanted us to have just one more.” Cas smiled and kissed his husband before turned back towards the bedroom.

“Yeah, he must have…” Dean smirked halfheartedly.

He stepped into the bathroom and did his business and washed his hands then looked at himself in the mirror. “You did the right thing, Dean. It’s all going to be worth it in the end. Cas loves you.”

He walked into Haley’s room and laid down in bed with her and wrapped himself around his daughter. “Goodnight, Haley.”

_******* _


	2. Is That a Fat Joke, Kevin?

**_Two weeks later…_ **

****

            “Are you guys ready?” Castiel asked his youngest son and daughter, as he was strapping Ryan into his car-seat with Lyric in the pouch in front of him. Ryan smiled and Lyric just looked sleepy. “You didn’t get much sleep last night, baby girl.” Castiel said frowning at her and buckling her up. He made sure they were good and tight, before getting into the driver’s seat of the car.

            He backed out of his driveway. He was in his scrubs, ready for work. He had to check up on a patient or two for another doctor who got sick suddenly and couldn’t make it. Usually if something like this happened, John, Sam, or Ruby would be free to take the twins out for the day. But, this time it was on very short notice, and no one was free. This left Castiel with only two options. Taking them to work with him or bring them to Dean and he knew Dean would not be happy with him if he did that.

 So, he was bringing his smallest children (other than the one in Dean’s belly) to work for a couple of hours. It was a smarter plan anyway; the hospital had many people at break at different times and at least one nurse that could watch them for 10 minutes or so.

Castiel got to the hospital, getting out of the car, going into the trunk, and getting the double stroller out. He got Ryan out first as he was awake, and happy. Lyric was next and, she happened to asleep. No matter how careful Castiel was Lyric ended up waking up, and tearing up a bit, until Cas calmed her down. “It’s okay baby, go back to sleep.” He put her down in the stroller next to Ryan getting on their way into the hospital.

Cas was known around the hospital so when he came in with his two angels, he was swooned on instantly. “Oh my Gosh Dr. Novak, who are these two darlings?” Castiel turned around hearing the voice seeing Meg, looking better than ever. “Hey Meg, you remember these two, right? This is Lyric and Ryan.”

Meg smiled and crouched down looking at them. “Hello pretty babies, hi!” Her voice got higher as she talked. Lyric had woken up by then and wasn’t that happy with Meg in her face, although Ryan was in love with all the attention. Meg played with them for a bit until Lyric started tearing up.

“Aw, what’s wrong sweetheart?” Meg asked standing up. Castiel got crouched down now, getting her out of the stroller and holding her. “She didn’t have a goodnight’s rest and so she is cranky and just wants to sleep. I can’t blame her; I mean I woke up every time she did.”

Meg laughed as Lyric calmed down quickly in Cas’s arms. Next thing he knows he hears someone else talking to him. “Dr. Novak, you brought your twins with you!” Kevin smiled walking over there. “I did, I couldn’t get a babysitter, so here they are.” Cas smirked, Ryan starting to get moody as no one was paying attention to him.

“Come here attention hog.” Ryan’s Papa laughed picking him up and letting him stare at everyone in the room. Kevin grinned at the baby and looked at Cas. “I don’t know what’s with you guys and having the cutest babies, but you and Dean do.”

            “Yes, they are the cutest and I know number 7 will be too.” Castiel half-smiled, half-sighed, putting Ryan back in the stroller walking while talking, getting to his office. “Number 7?” Meg asked, still part of the conversation.

            Cas nodded, scratching the back of his head as if it was a habit. “It wasn’t planned. I guess God wanted us to have another and if that’s what God wanted then I am going to be happy.”

            “Really, are you pregnant?” Kevin asked. Castiel flicked his face over to Kevin. “Was that a fat joke, Kevin?” When Cas spoke Kevin looked generally scared. “No Dr. Novak.”

            “Kevin, out of all the years you’ve worked with me, you should know I’m joking with ya. I’m not the pregnant one, it’s Dean.” Kevin sighed. “Okay, good, I have to go actually work now though, so I’ll see you later Dr. Novak.”

            Cas waved, saying his goodbye, about to get to work before Meg stopped him. “Hey Cas?”

            “Yeah?” Castiel answered, turning around. “Um…you know what—never mind.” She said turning away before yelled (some-what). “Meg, is it about Blake and/or Raven?”

            She turned around and nodded. “I got to work now Cas, but I’ll call you about. I promise. Or—or you can call me sometime, okay? See you, I’m glad I met your adorable babies!” She smiled, and left just like that. Castiel ignored the odd chat with Meg and walked into his office with the babies. The first appointment wasn’t for another hour.

            Castiel got on his computer and did some works until, Ryan and Lyric started getting cranky. Castiel got on his knees and started playing with them. “I’m sorry guys, I know this isn’t funny. I promise tomorrow is going to be really fun! It’s gonna be Saturday and Ryan, Daddy is going to be home,” Ryan cheered at Cas saying ‘Daddy.’ “And Lyric, we’re going read more books and I’ll even put on your favorite show no matter how annoying it is.” Lyric was _way_ to tired to react.

            Cas smiled, and kissed both of them on the cheek before looking at the time. It was time to get back to work.


	3. And When You Thought Morning Sickness Was Over

Dean crawled into bed and plopped his head on Cas’s stomach forcing a grunt out of Cas’s mouth. “I’m guessing you aren’t feeling great.”

“Can we fast forward to the part in the pregnancy where all I want to do is eat and have horny sex with you?”

“I can’t wait for that time period either, but you have to make it through the first trimester.” Dean moaned and nuzzled his face into Cas’s stomach. “Get some rest, tomorrow you will be one day close to stop having morning sickness.”

_*** &^%$#@$%^&*(&^%$#%^&*(** _

Dean was up early the next day, Saturday. It was the first day that he hadn’t woke up and instantly get hit with nausea. It was early, extremely early, so he walked into the living room and picked up a book he said he would read but never got to it.

He had woken up at 5 and by 8 everybody was starting to wake up. Cas had been woken up by the twins at 6 and came in with them 15-30 minutes later and fed them breakfast. Basically Dean got an hour of reading in before he was distracted by babies.

He heard Cas mumbling and talking in his baby voice. Cas is already bouncing with energy and a smile on his face. The blue eyed man gave a over the top gaping smile and stared at Dean. He had Ryan on his hip. “Look, Ryan, Daddy’s on the couch. Daddy’s never wake this early. Will you have a smile if you were with Daddy?”

Ryan gave grabby hands towards Dean and whined. He set the book down and stretched out his arms to Cas. “Come here, Monkey, is Papa being a meany face?”

Cas set Ryan in Dean’s lip and Ryan instantly cuddled into him. “He’s a little cranky today. When I changed his diaper this morning he had a little bit of a diaper rash.”

Dean gently patted Ryan’s back and nodded as Cas walked away and came back with Lyric. He set her on the ground and then plopped down with her. Dean rolled over so he was laying on his back with Ryan high on his chest. Cas was facing him and Dean closed his eyes for a moment.

He fell asleep and woke up at 8 with three girls in his face and he shirt lifted showing off his tiny baby bump that had already started to form. He blinked and looked around and saw Lyic and Ryan on the ground with Cas and the sweet peas were around him. “Ethan, Dot, Haley…What are—“

“We wanted to know if you had started showing yet.” Ethan explained.

Dean got up on his elbows. “Well, I have just a little bit.”

The three girls ran their hands over his almost nonexistent swell. “When are we gonna be able to feel it kick, Daddy?” Haley asked.

“Not for a couple more weeks, sweetie. Right now, All Daddy has is a beer gut.” Dean attempted to push down his shirt but the trips weren’t budging.

“You don’t have a beer gut, Daddy. You have a baby bump!” Dot exclaimed.

Dean smiled and heard Cas laughed. “Thank you, Sweet Peas. Now go get dressed, we’re gonna go out today.”

“Where are we gonna go?” Ethan asked.

“That’s the surprise.” Dean sat up. Cas was trying to hold in a laugh He glared and ponted his index finger at him. “You told them to swarm.”

“No, the girls already knew you were pregnant and I had found out this morning that you were starting to show so I pointed it out to the girl when they woke up and they had to see for themselves.”

“I’ll watch the kids, you go get dressed, we’re gonna go out for lunch.” Dean nodded.

Cas chocked out a laugh. “Babe, I love you, but you need to get your eyes checked, cause I’m already dressed. I get dressed every morning when I first wake up.”

“I’m sorry, this is the first day I haven’t felt like puking but I’m exhausted.”

“Maybe we should just stay home and let you rest.” Cas suggested.

“But I already excited the girls and you know how much they like going places…they are like me.”

“Well, I don’t like the idea of you getting sick in public, so we are going to leave the moment I think you need to leave unless you feel you need to leave earlier. You got that, mister.” Cas pointed.

“Yes, mom.” Dean mumbled. “Where’s Riley?”

“Last I checked he was in his room playing.”

“It’s been too quiet.” Dean was like a fortune teller because after those words left his mouth and a moment of silence there was little boy scream and a loud crash and sent Cas and Dean flying towards their son’s room. As they entered they saw Riley’s dresser had fallen on the ground and Riley was sitting on his butt sobbing not a foot away. Dean and Cas both instantly went into Daddy mode.

Dean immediately pulled Riley up into his arms and held him on his hip. Cas lifted the dresser back up to assess the damages. “Riley did any part of the dresser land on you?” Dean panicked patting his son down.

Riley just sobbing in Dean’s arm and clung to Dean’s shirt. Cas walked over to Dean and Riley. “Riley did you hit your head?”

“No…” He whimpered through his tears.

“You’re just a like shaken up, buddy?” Cas used his calm doctor voice. Riley nodded nuzzling his face into Dean’s chest. “Come on, Carrot, me and you are going to have a talk about climbing on things.”

“No…” Riley mumbled.

“Riley, you could have gotten really hurt. You don’t ever climb on things. You come and ask me or Papa if we can get what you need. You understand that. We aren’t going to punish you this time because you are shaken up, but if it happens again we are going to have to punish you.” Dean explained.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Don’t just say sorry to me, I aint you’re only parent.”

Ryan looked over at Cas. “I’m sorry, Papa.”

“It’s ok, Carrot, but your Daddy is right. If it happens again there will be serious consequences.” Cas held out his arms. “Come on, buddy, me and you are going to lay on the couch and let Daddy get dressed.”

Dean blinked. “Let’s go out later, tell the girls we’ll go somewhere after lunch…I-I need to lay down for a moment.” He answered after handing off Riley. He placed a hand on his forehead and the other on his back.

“Are you ok, Dean?”

“I-I need a moment.” Dean started to walk out of the room. _‘I can’t handle another boy like that. Riley could have died. Boys like to climb things. Ryan is a boy. What if I have a boy? Ryan acts more like Cas so he should climb things, but what if my babies do?’_ Dean felt like he was suffocating. The hallway felt like it was getting longer and darker. Then it was all dark and he was unconscious.

_**(* &^%$%^&*(*&^%$E%^&*(&^%** _

“Dean? Dean?” He heard. He head was hurting, his ears were ringing, and his heart was pounding. He blinked and groaned. “Are you with me?”

He looked up and realized his head was in Cas’s lap. “Cas?”

“You wanna explain to me why you passed out?” Cas spoke calmly but obviously worried.

Dean cleared his throat. “An emotional panic attack.”

“Care to go in depth?”

Den slowly sat up. “Cas we go to the bedroom and talk?” Cas nodded and rose to his feet and hen helped Dean up. They both sat up the bed and Cas held Dean’s hands. “I was panicking over how if the baby I’m carrying now was a boy and was a climber like I was and like Riley is.”

“You think Ryan’s not going to be a climber?”

“He acts like you and you said you weren’t a climber.” Dean nodded. “Riley could have died.”

“He’s fine, he understand after what we talked about. There’s no need to panic. We’re not going out today, you’re too flip floppy. Maybe tomorrow, Sunday’s are always calmer days.” Cas kissed his husband on the forehead and walked out leaving Dean to rest.

**_***_ **


	4. Calling

            **_1 month later…_**

****

            “Hello?” Castiel answered his phone that had ringed for the third time.

            “Hey Castiel, it’s Meg!” She seemed to have a smile on her face although Castiel could not see it. “Hey Meg, how are you doing?” Castiel said grinning to himself. “I’m not doing too bad, and you?”

            “I’m fine, just kind-of wondering why you’re calling. Not that I don’t like talking to you, but you never call.” Cas states, it was a fact.

            “Can’t a girl just give one of her best friends a call?” Meg asks almost sarcastically. “Well, a girl can, but that girl is never you.”

            “Fine, Castiel you got me. I’m not here just for a side chat.” Her voice seemed to switch from a light mood to a somber. “What are calling for?” Cas spoke wanting to be calm, although he was worrying on the inside.

            “Castiel, Crowley and I are getting a divorce.” She spoke loudly into the phone.

            “What? You and Crowley are getting a divorce?” Castiel asked very confused himself. “Yes, Castiel; Crowley and I are getting a divorce.”

            “Why? Are you guys okay?”

            “Of course not…I’m not okay, he is not okay; no one is okay.” Meg yelled into the phone, catching Cas off guard. The phone was silent for awhile, before Meg started talking again. “We’re divorcing because Crowley—Crowley is a damn drunk, alcoholic. He isn’t a happy drunk either…” She seemed to mumble.

            “What happened Meg?” Castiel asked worried. “Castiel, I found him about 2 weeks ago abusing Raven and Blake and—and that was the last straw. He was verbally abusing all of us for so long, I think it’s been 3 or 4 years now and I can’t take it anymore…”

            “Meg, are you okay? Are the twins okay? I mean physically, for now.” He asked, worried. Meg hesitated. “We’re all okay now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, we’re all okay now.” She replied, continuing. “I got a black-eye and a few bruises. Blake was a bruised up, and had a few scratches and Raven had to get a few stitches from the glass Crowley threw at her. Blake protected her, from the punches, so other than that she was okay.”

Castiel bit his lip hearing the information, closing his eyes. “Is he in jail?” Cas asked, trying to seem calm. Meg sighed. “I called the cops, I did, but somehow he got away and now I have no clue where he is.”

Castiel put his head in his hand. “That’s horrible Meg. I’ll come over as soon as I can Meg, I promise—

“No Castiel. I have something else to tell you.”

“What?” Castiel asked generally confused. “Please tell me it’s not something even worse…”

“I’m in debt and I’m owning a shit ton of money from my own bad habits and I—well, I am giving up the rights to Raven and Blake.” Meg seemed to be crushed saying this. “You’re giving them up? Meg, why—“

“I want you to have them Castiel. I’m not a good parent and neither is Crowley. I want them to have a good life, a better life.” Meg stated saddened. “And you’re their father and you’re an amazing father. They need a dad, or two dads. Dean is a wonderful father too.”

“Meg, I-I don’t know if I can. I’d have to talk to Dean, and he is pregnant and I just don’t think I can handle it.” Cas is almost panicked now. He loves Raven, and Blake. He used to see them all the time until Crowley made him stop coming so much and then he had all his own family problems. Crowley said that he had to be invited to go to their house and deep down Castiel knew something was going on, because hadn’t been able to come in almost a year.

“Castiel please!” Meg begged on the phone. It seemed she was almost angry. Castiel was breathing fast and couldn’t feel his face as if the blood had all gone to his feet. “Meg I—“

“Castiel, please… I don’t have much time until they take them away from me anyway and I want them in good care. Just please think about, okay? I beg you…” Meg seemed to be falling apart on the phone to Cas.

He thought about it in his mind for what seemed like decades. He was shaking, he was panicking, but the only thing that he could think of was Crowley throwing a glass at Raven and Blake getting beaten. So, he decided.

“I’ll—I’ll talk to Dean about it… I’ll call you back when I know…” Castiel noticed a salty taste on his lip and realized the tears that were falling from his face. “Okay…please call within a week. Please…thank you. I’ll let you get back to work now…Goodbye.” Meg hung up right then and Cas dropped his phone on his and Dean’s bed, bringing his head to his hands, and brought his legs up, resting his hands on his knees.

He cried. He sobbed. The twins were napping as he just sobbed grabbing at his hair. It was too much happening too fast, and he couldn’t get it out of his head. Cas got up and went to the bathroom, splashing his face with water. He counts to 10 and calms himself, blowing his noses afterwards. ‘ _What am I gonna tell Dean? How is he gonna react? What if they Raven and Blake end up alone in a house full of people they don’t know?’_

Thoughts like that ran through his head, circling around him. He hears a tiny cry coming from the twins room and sighs. It was time to put on his happy face and turn on Daddy mode. He walked it into the room seeing Ryan crying, standing up in his crib, hanging on the bars. “Me too baby boy, me too.” He smiled.


	5. I Would Say The Same To You, My Love

“Cas? I’m home.” Dean called as he stepped into the eerily quiet house. He walked up the steps and heard his little green beans babbling. He peeked inside the nursery and saw Lyric playing with her favorite stuffed animal duck and Ryan eating his foot.

Sitting close enough to grab the twins if they started to crawl away, but far enough to avoid playing with them, was Cas who was spaced out chewing on his fingernail.

Dean crossed the floor of the nursery and got down on his knees and hovered over Ryan. “Hey, big boy, let’s take that foot out of your mouth so you can say hi to dada.” Dean pulled the foot out of Ryan mouth and proceeded to blow a raspberry into the little boy’s cheek.

He sat up and pulled Ryan into his lap. Cas was still spaced out like he wasn’t even there. “Cas? You here with me, babe?”

“Dada…dada.” Lyric squealed tossing her duck in his direction.

Dean smiled. “Crawl over her girly.”

Lyric flapped her arms at her sides. “DADA!”

“Yeah, baby girl, I’m Dada. Come here, Green bean.” Lyric made no effort to move so Dean hooked his arm around Ryan’s belly and draped him over his forearm and gently crawled over to his youngest daughter and closer to Cas. He handed the duck back to Lyric and he placed a hand on Cas’s knee and shook it a tad. “Cas, buddy?”

“Huh? Wha?” Cas blinked looking around. “Dean? When’d you get home?”

“I’ve been home a solid five minutes. I’ve been goofing around with thing 1 and 2 over here. How did you not notice?”

Cas shrugged. “I zoned out.”

“Ya don’t say.” Dean smirked. “I’m going to lay down for a little while before the girls get home with Riley.”

“How about you take a nap and I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready?” Cas began to stand up.

Dean shook his head. “If I sleep now I woke tonight.”

“You will definitely sleep tonight. This isn’t the first time I have seen you pregnant, Dean. You were always exhausted with the triplets and every chance you could you napped. Same with Riley.” Cas bent over and picked up Lyric.

“Fine, I will go lay down and if I feel the lull of sleep, I’ll give into it.” Dean slowly stood. Cas smiled and took Ryan out of Dean’s grasp and gave Dean a once over. “What?”

“To be only 4 months you sure have started to show.”

“Thanks.” Dean pouted covering his stomach with his hands. “I have carried a total of 4 kids prior to this one, my body has muscle memory or something or I show faster.”

“I know, babe, I just feel like you’re a little big to be having just one.”

“We have a doctor’s appointment next month.” Dean put his hands on his back. “We can talk about that later.”

When got in bed he almost instantly fell asleep. He knew Cas was acting off, he was gonna have to talk to him about it later.

_*** &^%$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()** _

This was later. “They are what?!” Dean blurted out running a hand through his hair.

“They are getting a divorce.”

“A divorce?”

“Yes, Crowley is an abusive asshole…”

“So Meg suggested what?!” Dean asked keeping both hand firming gripping his scalp.

“She’s giving up her rights to Blake and Raven…”

“So they would be yours…?” Dean finished Cas’s sentence.

“Yes.” Cas nodded.

Dean took a deep breath and flattened his shirt against his slightly swollen middle to unwrinkle his button down. “Cas, I don’t think you know how many kids we have.” He brought his right hand in front of his face. “Ethan, Dot, Haley, Riley, Lyric…” He pulled up his left hand. “Ryan and this side dish. That’s seven, Cas.”

“I know that, Dean, but I gave birth to Raven and Blake, they are technically my children…” Cas let out a big sigh. “The last thing I would want is for them to be put in an orphanage when they could have been here.”

“Cas…” Dean brought his hand to his mouth. “Don’t say things like that…i’m sorry…I didn’t mean…” Dean got teary eyed.

Cas walked over to his husband. “Blake and Raven need us. Their father is an abusive drunk and their mother is in big debt.”

Two tears ran down Dean’s face. “You have such a big heart, Cas. We don’t have the room for them.”

“We can make room.” Cas wiped away his husbands tears.

Dean shook his head. “No…I know what we can do.”

“Dean, we can’t give them up. I’m not giving the kids I gave birth to away to strangers.” Cas blurted out.

“No, we let Ruby and Sam adopt them.” Dean smiled through his watery eyes. “We both know that Tom was a miracle baby. We both know how bad Sam and Ruby wanted more kids but couldn’t.” Cas nodded. Dean watched as his husband took a deep breath then his bottom lips started quivering. Cas let out a shaky breath. Dean rushed to his side and wrapped his arms around him. “Shh, shhh, shhh, this will all work out. We are all ok.”

Cas nodded again against Dean’s shoulder. He gently pulled away and looked into Dean eyes and they filled with tears. “I have been working with Crowley for years…we went to college together. I had his children…”

“Cas, honey, we’re going to make this right. We never really saw Crowley at home. Sure you visited Raven and Blake, but that’s different. He knew you were coming over.”

“Dean, he has been abusing the babies I carried for 10 months.” Cas whimpered almost unable to talk he was sobbing so bad.

“Sh, honey, don’t cry.” Dean held back his tears. “You crying make me cry, and last thing we need is a sobbing Papa and a blubbering pregnant Daddy and one of the Sweet Peas or Carrot come running in.”

Cas laughed behind his tears and wiped his eyes. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Of course, Cas, We would be killing two birds with one stone. Tom would have the brother and sister he has always wanted and Blake and Raven would be in a safe home with familiar people they know and love.” Dean smiled wiped the escape tears of Cas’s cheeks. “I’ll call Sam tomorrow during my lunch.”

“I love you.” Cas smiled kissed his husband.

“I love you, too.” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas.

“You keep my head on straight even when you’re supposed to be the emotional loopy one.” Cas smirked.

“You’ve always been the more sensitive one…that why I love you. You have the biggest heart.” Dean hugged his husband tighter.

“I would say the same to you, my love.”

_******* _


	6. Nervous

 

            Castiel was nervous. He hadn’t seen Raven or Blake in a long time, and he wondered what they had started to look like and what they acted like. He was picking them up. Cas and Dean were keeping them at their house until they got an answer from Sam and Ruby.

            Sam and Ruby agreed that they wanted them. That they’d be happy, but it was all up to Tom now. They wanted his input too.

            It was a longer ride there. Dean and Castiel didn’t even have time to tell all of their kids what was going on, and Castiel figured Dean would tell them while he left. Cas was never gone on Saturday’s. He liked being home with the family and Dean. Today was different.

            Meg and Crowley’s house was big, and fancy. It seemed to just keep going and going; no end. The house stood tall and was two stories high. It made Castiel scared that Blake and Raven might not like his home, or Sam and Ruby’s for a matter of fact. Their house was tiny compared to this house, and Sam was a top notch lawyer.

            Cas soon enough was at their big red door, ringing the door bell. The door opened revealing a smiling boy with light brown hair, and big brown eyes. He was short and skinny, having a red shirt on and jeans. Meg was walking behind him with a big blue bag in her arms. “Hey Uncle Castiel.” The boy said.

            Meg smiled. “Hey Castiel, Raven is almost ready.” Blake was looking up at Cas, and rushed over to the car quickly. Castiel looked back and grabbed his keys out of his pocket, unlocking it. “Sorry Castiel, he is just really excited.” Meg grinned, a fake one at that.

            He heard quiet almost faint footsteps, coming from the stairs. Meg looked at the other side of the room. “Are you ready Raven?” Meg asked. He didn’t hear a voice, but next thing he knows, a small girl at her mother’s leg. She has jet black, long, and straight hair that looks so thin that it’d feel like feathers. She had dark brown eyes, like a lake of chocolate melting. She had a tiny black dress on with red converses, looking up at Meg.

            “Hold on Castiel, I’ll be right back.” She said, turning around seeming to go to an area that looked like a kitchen. She came back with 2 pill containers. “I almost forgot these. One’s for Raven and one’s for Blake. They both take it at night.” Meg smiled. Raven looked up at her again. “Go on sweetie, I’ll be here.” She smirked. The daughter timidly walked to the car, opening the door and shutting it silently.

            “I don’t need to tell a doctor what these pills are for, you’ll know, and you’ll know what to do. They’re going to come visit me a lot, right?” Meg asked. “I mean, after everything is settled.”

            Castiel nodded. “Yes, you are their mother. I visited them, you should be able to too.” He smiled. Meg handed him a big blue & purple bag with the pills in a side pocket. Meg bit her lip, her eyes looking at the floor. The glitter that shined from her eyes was almost unnoticeable, but Cas could see it. “Meg, it’s going to be okay. I promise.” Cas smiled.

            Suddenly Meg had her arms wrapped around her waist; she was hugging him. Castiel smiled and patted her back. “Thank you…” She said in a half-smile. The sorrow in her face was terrible, but she knew it was for the best.

            She turned and closed to door, leaving Castiel to go back into the car. He got into the driver’s seat and buckled up, starting the engine only to have a child yell. “Wait!”

            Castiel turned around, looking at the young boy whom shouted it. “Raven forgot her favorite stuffed animal; can I go get it for her?” Castiel nodded. Blake jumped out of the car, running to the door. Castiel was shocked that Blake didn’t notice her tears.

            Raven was silent in the car, as they waited. Castiel realized that these twins had turned into complete opposites from each other. Raven was timid, almost looking scared. It worried Cas that she might forever be like this. Blake was outgoing and protective; without fear. They were fraternal twins to the tee; emotionally, physically, and mentally.

            Before Castiel could talk with Raven, Blake was coming back into the car with a stuffed bird in his hand, giving it to Raven. Raven smiled a bit, and softly said a thank you to her brother. This made Cas’s heart swell.

            Castiel drove almost all the way to his and Dean’s house without a peep from Raven, although Blake on the other hand enjoyed talking to Cas, hearing what it was like at his house.

            When they finally got home it was almost time for dinner. “This place looks cool!” Blake smirked, poking Raven to look up. She looks up and nods; still no big smile. Castiel get out of the car, grabbing their bags from the passenger side, unlocking the back for the twins to get out.

            Blake and Raven went out the same side, following Castiel to the door. When Cas opened the door he saw Dean with Ryan on his lap with Lyric playing with the stuffed duck, that seemed to be her favorite at the moment. Riley was watching TV with the triples by his side. Cas smiled and prayed that they would love the twins, for the time they were staying with them and even love them with Sam and Ruby.

            “Pa-Pa!” Lyric yelled. Castiel knew it was going to be okay.


	7. So Much Innocence Inside Her

“C’mon, Dean, you’re not going to sleep your first day of summer break away.” Cas shook his husbands shoulder.

“Five m’re m’n’tes.” Dean mumbled nuzzling deeper in his pillow.

“No, sir. Today is Sunday and Blake and Raven’s first day here. I want us to get to know them and let them get to know their cousins and take them out shopping and out for lunch maybe dinner.”

“Let me get dressed and…I should…” Dean drifted back to sleep.

Cas rolled Dean on his back and took his wrists and pulled him into a sitting position which woke him up. “Dean, I swear you’re the hardest person to wake up.”

“Cause I don’t wanna wake up.” Dean blinked.

“Put a smile on your face, Baby.” Cas pulled the covers off Dean completely.

Dean moaned and let his head fall backwards. “I need coffee.”

“No, sir. I’m not giving in today. You had two cups yesterday.”

Dean placed his face on the ground and slowly stood up with his eyes half lidded. “Then why do you insist on waking me up at this ungodly hour?”

“It’s 9:30, sweetie.” Cas mushed Dean to the bathroom. “Be happy, sugar. I let you sleep longer than anyone. Lyric and Ryan woke me up at 5:45 this morning, Riley woke at 7, Haley and Ethan at 7:45, Dot and 7:50, and Blake and Raven at 8 on the dot.” Cas smiled helping his husband out of his clothes. “I’ve been awake for almost 4 hours.”

“Hooray for you. Can you slap me in the face because if there’s not coffee there’s not pep in me.” Dean pulled a shirt over his head.

“Fine, one cup and then you’re going on decaf.”

“Thank God, I love you.” Dean smiled and followed Cas into the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen table as he watched his husband fix the coffee. Ethan and Haley walked into the room and over to the fridge. “Morning, Girls.”

“Morning Daddy.” They smiled.

“Remember girls, me and Papa want you to include Blake and Raven. They are coming from a rough family and we want them to feel loved all around. Today’s a beautiful day, so why not play outside.”

“Sure!” They smiled and dashed off.

Cas handed Dean the mug of coffee and sat down across from him. “I was thinking that maybe we could just stay home today and get Raven and Blake settled in and getting to know the kids before taking them out into public.”

“Good idea. I didn’t want to walk around anyways.” Dean smirked as they heard the side door opened and footsteps exit the building and the door shut behind them.

“You finish your coffee and I’ll be in the laundry room finishing Blake and Ravens laundry before starting on the kids.” Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head.

Cas walked out of the kitchen towards the laundry room while Dean stood from his seat and headed the opposite direction towards the living room. At just under 18 weeks pregnant he was already gaining the pregnant waddle. He stepped into the room and noticed that sitting on the couch was Raven. He was stunned for a moment. The TV wasn’t on and she didn’t have a book or any source of entertainment in her hands. She was just sitting there. “Good, morning, Raven. Did you sleep well?”

She timidly nodded and lowered her head to avoiding looking at him.

“Do you wanna watch TV?” She shook her head. He took a step forward. “Can I sit on the couch with you?”

She nodded and scooted over even though Dean had plenty of room. He sat and grabbed the book he had been reading and opened to the page he had left off. He looked over at the young girl. “Raven, Everyone is outside if you wanna play with them.” She shook her head again. “Do you just wanna sit here?”

She nodded and looked away so Dean started reading. After 30 minutes and numerous glances Dean figured out an idea of what was going on. “Raven, sweetie?” She looked over at him. “Are you thinking about your Dad?”

She nodded.

“Are you scared of your Dad?” There was another nod. “He didn’t let you outside or watch TV did he?”

Her lip quivered and she nodded holding back tears. Dean scooted a little closer to her so he was within arms’ length from her. “Sweetie, I know exactly what you are going through. You see my Dad was rough and tough like yours. He liked to beat me around for the hellva it. Especially when he was drunk. It took him until I was 16 to realize that what he was doing was wrong. All it took was a 4th trip to the hospital in a month for a broken arm, then 2 cracked ribs, then a dislocated shoulder for the broken arm…then lastly a broken jaw. Police found out and arrested him for child abuse and was sentenced 10 years in the slammer. When Ethan, Dot and Haley started going to elementary school I began to trust my father with children again.”

Raven just stared at Dean; all of her attention was on him. He reached out and wiped a stray tears with the pad of his thumb on her soft cheek.

“Everything’s gonna be ok, I promise. You’re gonna be ok.” Dean smiled. “You can always come to me if you wanna talk or just hang out.”

She nodded and looked down at her hand for a few moments. Dean went back to reading and soon she felt the young girl snuggle up beside him. He wrapped his arms around Raven and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Atta girl.” Dean smiled and went back to reading.

_**(* &^%$#$%^&*()*&^%$#%^&*()_** _

Dean had notice throughout the rest of the day that Raven was a very shy introverted person. He had only heard her talk to Blake. It wasn’t until after everyone was done getting ready for bed that night that Dean heard Raven speak loud enough to be hear and not towards her brother. He was tucking the twins in for the night. They were using to army cot John had in his garage for them. Dean bent down to say good night to Raven when she sat up and stared at him. “Uncle Dean?”

He didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t used to her speaking. He flinched and then sat down on the cot avoiding her tiny feet. “Yes, sweetie.”

“You said your Dad was like mine, right…”

“Yes, they acted similar.” Dean nodded.

“You said things got better…You began to trust your Dad again.”

“Yes, just recently.”

“Do you think things will be like that with my Dad?” Raven asked innocently.

It broke Dean’s heart. She was so young and so naïve. There was so much innocence inside her, but so much trauma there too. “Oh, honey…” Dean replied. “Your Dad did things that…let’s just say I’m shocked that he isn’t in jail. What he did to you, Blake and your mother was wrong and unforgiving. I don’t think your Dad wants to me back in your life anymore.”

“But you said you trusted your Dad again.” She whimpered.

“I know, honey. From when I was 4 to when I 16 almost 17 my Dad hurt me and then was sent to prison for 10 years. I’m 37, I didn’t start trusting my father again until 2 years ago. It took me 20 years to trust him…but I haven’t forgiven him for any of it.” Dean spoke openly about what happened in his childhood that he had buried for many years, Cas bare knew about it and Sam blocked it out in his mind.

“But you and Uncle Cas said this was only temporary.” Raven whimpered closed to tears.

Dean pulled her close. “It is temporary. Sweetie, your Mom gave up her right to care for you. Uncle Cas legal watches over you now. We thought it would be best for you and Blake to stay with my brother and his wife and son. You and Blake would live there and it would be a new family, a new life, a better life.”

“Promise?” She looked up at Dean.

“I promise, now get some rest. Tomorrow you can play outside with the others and we might go out for lunch or dinner.” Dean tucked her in and kissed her forehead.

“Uncle Dean…” She whispered. He connected his eyes with her. “Thank you.”

“You’re Welcome, darling. Good night.” He walked out of the room and into his and Cas’s bedroom.

Cas was laying in bed reading book with his sexy reading glasses on his nose. “You were in there for a while.”

“Raven talked with me.” Dean crawled into the bed as Cas set his book now and slide off his glasses. He looked awe-stuck. “I talked with her earlier this morning that she could tell me anything, and that I knew what she was going through.”

“How is she doing?” Cas asked. “I mean she’s already doing better if she trusts you enough to speak on the first day here.”

Dean nodded. “She’s ok. I mean Cas, Meg told us that Raven and Blake were heavily verbally abused and moderately physically abused. Meg was sexually abused for a couple years. Meg told us that Blake and Raven haven’t said anything about Crowley and if he hadn’t done the same to them. I mean, my Dad would beat me around for no reason until I was past unconscious and broken, but he never touched sexually.”

“Dean, you still haven’t told me much about your past. I know bit and pieces of good memories and I know that you didn’t 100% trust your father until the Sweet Peas started school, but I don’t know what happened.”

Dean was silence for a moment staring off into space. He blinked and looked at Cas was teary eyes but he was not gonna cry. “Take it from me, Cas, you don’t want to know. You don’t wanna know what I did to keep Sammy and my Mom safe from ham of my Dad. You don’t wanna know that kind of monster my father was from the age I was 4 to when he was sent away in handcuffs. Believe me when I say you’re better off not knowing. Right now, all I want to think about it Raven and Blake settling in, this side dishes and sleeping with y gorgeous lover.” Dean smiled.

“We are going to talk about that soon. I don’t like not know everything about you, Dean.”

“One day, baby, one day.” Dean laid with Cas. Cas slowly rubbed Dean’s swollen middle. “Sweet dreams, My angel.”

_******* _


	8. What Had Happened?

            Castiel stood there cooking breakfast for all the kids. It was a Monday, and Sam, Ruby, Tom, and John were coming over to meet Raven and Blake. Cas had invited them over, since Raven and Blake were going to be part of the family now, they needed to know the whole family. Well, at least Dean’s side of the family.

            He finished the pancakes giving them to Riley at the kitchen table, and cutting up pieces for the twins. Riley was talking to Ryan and Lyric as if they could understand him. It made Cas smile. “Ryan, you have to keep the food _in_ your mouth if you want to not be hungry!” Riley said, as Ryan was grabbing the piece of food and throwing it on the floor.

            He giggled and threw more, Lyric looking confused. “Yay!” Ryan yelled as he threw a piece at Cas. Castiel turned around from fixing other people’s plates to a giggling baby. “Ryan, food is not for throwing, it’s for eating.” As Castiel walked closer Ryan threw another piece at him, giggling.

            “No.” Cas shook his head. Ryan looked up at him and threw it again. “No, don’t do it again.” Castiel said, knowing his youngest boy understood that. Ryan pouted when Castiel grabbed a fork and started giving him the food himself.

            “Come on Ryan, it’s okay.” Riley said, getting the other plates and putting them on the table for everyone else. Cas smirked hearing Riley trying to be a bigger brother already, although Ryan still continued to pout.

            Lyric began kicking her feet in her highchair. “Dow! Dow! Dow!” She yelled, not getting the ‘n’ out when saying down.

            Castiel put his fork down and looked over at Lyric who was starting to pout too. She was a mess, syrup all over her hands and face. “Hold on Lyric, let me get this towel and clean you and your brother off.”

            They seemed to be done eating for now. Castiel walked over and got a wet towel and washed off her and Ryan’s face, gently. Lyric kicked her legs up and down, wanting out of the seat. “DOW!” She screamed as soon as Castiel finished cleaning her face.

            Luckily, Dean came in the room just as Castiel was starting to get stressed out. “What did Papa do this time?” Dean smiled, walking over to Ryan and picking him up. He was still pouting, but stopped when Dean picked him up. Cas picked Lyric up, wiping off her tiny tears. “They’re cranky today. I don’t know why.” Castiel said walking into the living room with Dean, them both putting the twins down into their playpen.

            “I’m surprised you’re up so early, and I’m even more surprised I didn’t have to wake you up.” Cas smirked, seeing Ethan going into the kitchen from the corner of his eyes. “Hey Ethan, if the other aren’t awake in 30 minutes, wake them up. Uncle Sam, Aunt Ruby, Tom, and Grandpa are coming over here soon.” Ethan nodded, walking off with the pancakes she got out of the kitchen.

            “I’m up for that reason. This happy accident actually let me sleep last night so I could wake up a little earlier than normal” Dean said as he swiped his hand down the front of his shirt revealing the growing swell. “I want to look good for the family.” Cas chuckled. “Since when?”

            “Since now.” Dean said, smiling and placing his hand on his back. “Well, I’ll take any excuse to get out of bed earlier.” Dean rolled his eyes, and sat back down on the couch.

            2 hours went by and everyone in the big family was ready for the day to begin. They were all ready for their family to come over and met Blake and Raven. When Castiel told them the news they both seemed excited, or at least for Raven she smiled. She showed emotion which was something in Cas’s book.

            There was a knock on the door, and Riley ran. “I got it! I got it!” He got to the door just before Castiel opened it. Cas smirked and stepped aside as Riley opened the door, revealing their Uncle, Aunt, and Cousin.

            “Hey little dude!” Sam said to Riley, walking into the house, the others walking behind him. Everyone came around, giving each other hugs and hellos. Tom goes off and plays with Riley in Riley’s room.

            Raven was sitting on the rocking chair, not rocking in it, just sitting. She didn’t say hello to any of the people that walked in, she just looked out the window or at Blake or Dean. Blake was on the couch with Ruby by his side. Blake talked to her; Sam talked to Dean and Cas. It was all happy and fine.

            John showed up even and it was all jolly. Hours went by and it was almost time for them to leave when something happened.

            Castiel, Dean, and Sam were in the kitchen cleaning up what was left of lunch with the babies while John was in the living room with Blake. The others had gone to their rooms to watch TV or play with each other. Cas knew that Riley and Tom were pretty good friend despite the age differences, so they were more likely spending the time together.

            “Hey Sam, can you hand me that rag? Lyric has drool all over herself.” Castiel said, looking at her as she drooled more. “Sure.” Sam replies about to hand Cas the rag when a ear-piercing scream came from the living room. The rag dropped on the floor, with Dean and Sam running out into the living room. Castiel had to focus on the twins, and their screams for the moment.

            When they calmed down, he walked into the living room seeing almost a fight going on. Blake was sitting in the corner of the room stuck in fetal-position, shaking, and sobbing. Castiel had seen the kid or in fact any kid being this terrified. Dean was yelling at John, and John was yelling back. Sam was trying to back it up, so he was yelling.

            When Cas heard the babies start crying again, he knew that was getting too much. “Stop fighting! Everyone get out!” Castiel yelled, getting stressed overwhelming. The room went silent and they did just as they were told. Sam, Ruby, Tom, and John left within 5 minutes. All the was left to hear was a bunch of crying. What had happened?


	9. Not Everything...

It was a good day, Sam, Ruby and Tom got to meet Blake and Raven and get to know them. John was even having a good time. Ruby had gone to see if she could connect with Raven again for the fourth time in 2 hours. Dean was able to relax and talk with his husband and brother at the kitchen table with John and Blake in the living room and the other spread out throughout the house.

“Dean, Cas, it’s awesome that you are doing this for me and Ruby.” Sam smiled.

“It’s no problem, Sammy. I’m glad you were open to do this, because with the new baby coming we wouldn’t have the room for three more people. Plus, I remember how much it killed you when you found out you couldn’t have any kids after Tom.”

“Thanks, Dean, really.” Sam smiled.

“Hey Sam, can you hand me that rag? Lyric has drool all over herself.” Cas spoke.

“Sure.” Sam reached for the cloth and handed it to Cas.

Dean was about to say something when there was a loud blood curdling scream come for the living room. He was on his feet in a fraction of a second and rushing to the noise forgetting about his aching back. As he stepped into the room he saw Blake on the floor in fetal position shaking like a leaf. Cas dove to Blake, Dean on the other assumed the worst.

“Did you hurt him?” Dean spat out.

“Why the hell would you say something like that!” John retorted.

“Blake has been through enough. Don’t add anymore trauma to that boy.” Dean pointed his finger at John.

“Dean, calm down…” Sam tried to stop the brewing fight

“What the Hell are you talking about?!” John yelled.

“You have already ruined two boys lives, you don’t need to ruin another one’s.” Dean voiced.

John took a step forward. “I’m not that man anymore, Dean! I did my time and I have been trying to earn your trust and forgiveness for 20 years now!”

“John, Dean, don’t fight about this…” Sam tried to talk over the elder Winchesters.

“I let you babysit my daughters! Oh God! Have you attacked my daughters! I have you molested my daughters! What about my son?”

“I haven’t touched your children. Their my grand children! Dean, I would never hurt my own grandchildren.” John yelled.

“But you would beat the living shit out of your eldest son!” Dean was wide eyed a furious.

“I’m not that guy anymore!”

“Blake isn’t even your grandson yet so does that mean he’s in your ball park?” Dean yelled. “Will he make a could replacement for me since you can beat me senseless anymore!”

“I haven’t touched anybody!” John yelled. “I haven’t sexually touched anyone other than your mother…”

“So Blake is a replacement for _Mom_!”

“Stop fighting! Everyone get out!” Castiel yelled.

Dean stared at his father. “You heard him…get out of my house.” He walked over to the couch and sat down and held his head in his hands. After a few minutes he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, really wishing it was a beer. He sat down at the table and looked down at his hands. By the time he looked back up everything was silent.

He stood and walked upstairs and into the spare room they had, but no spare beds so hence the cots Blake and Raven were sleeping on. Blake was asleep in his cot and Cas was sitting on the floor by Blake’s head combing his fingers through his hair. “How is he?” Dean asked quietly in the doorway.

Cas looked up and stood. He quickly walked out of the room and cracked the door. “He’s good now. The twins were fusing but they quieted now shortly after the yelling stopped. The Sweet Peas and Carrot were asking question but stopped when they saw how shaken up Blake was and Raven looked terrified for Blake.” Dean nodded and they began to walk back downstairs and sat on the couch in the empty living room. “Dean, I have to talk to you about something important.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Blake is a lot worse than we thought.” Cas sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“John didn’t do anything to Blake. I walked over to Blake while you and John were yelling and Blake was hysterical. I carried him up here. I have never seen him act like that. He was pale and wide eyed. I sat on the cot and he freaked out so I got on the ground. He wouldn’t let me touch him. I finally got him to calm down after a little while…he drifted asleep shortly, but not before he told me what was going through his mind…” Cas paused. “Crowley sexually abused him. Blake didn’t actually say that, but he told me that when he was only with his father, Crowley would touch him…first on the shoulder then move south. At night Crowley would come into his room while everyone was asleep….”

“Oh God…” Dean gasped.

“I know, Dean, we can’t let Sam and Ruby take them until they are mentally stable. Blake was a different person back there.”

“Something tells me that Raven wasn’t this mute before the abuse started. Do you think Raven was sexually abused?”

“No, Blake told me that he only ever did it to his mom and him.” Cas nodded staring at Dean. “I don’t like this. Crowley scarred them for life.”

“I know the feeling.” Dean looked down at his hands.

Cas took Dean’s hand in his own, forcing Dean to look up. “I’ve been meaning to ask. Can we talk about this? Can we talk about your childhood? I barely know anything about your life before high school. You tell stories about you when you were younger than 4 and older than 16 but never in between. I wanna know…I should know. I’m your husband.”

“You don’t wanna know, Cas.” Dean shook his head. “I don’t want you looking at me differently.”

“Tell me, baby. I would never look at you differently. I love you, Dean. I wanna know everything about you, even the bad.”

Dean was silent for a moment then nodded. “Not everything…I don’t think I can handle telling you everything in one sitting.”

“Tell me anything.”

“Um, by the end, but at the time I didn’t think it would be, John got really courageous about when, where and how him beat me. I stopped asking why at this point. I remember I had just started working at Bobby’s garage with John. I had done something wrong…I didn’t tighten a bolt tight enough. Bobby didn’t even notice. John on the other hand was outraged in my laziness and pulled me aside to the car he had been working on. He told Bobby to go on his lunch break so Bobby left to his office and John exploded. He kneed me in the stomach then punched me in the side of the head just below my ear, which slammed me into the side of the car, knocking me to the ground. He pulled me to my feet and yelled at me some more. I don’t remember what exactly he was yelling at me about, my ear were ringing, but next thing I know something cold and hard it’s my in the jaw at full force. From what John admitted too after his jail time, he clubbed me with a tire iron and with the force of the impact it broke my jaw and when I was hit the ground I knocked my skull on the hood of the car.”

Cas had brought his hands to his mouth as Dean talked.

“I woke up with no memory of the day, or even days before. I had a broken jaw, a concussion, two cracked ribs, and some whip lash.” Dean smirked. “Bobby told me that he was watching the cameras in the garage to moment John “punished” me. He rewinded the tape and saw the whole thing. He called the police and he was arrested.”

“Dean…”

Dean wiped his eyes. He had been crying. “No, don’t pity me. I’m just emotional because of the baby. I want you to know that I’m here for you and Raven and Blake can stay as long as they need but sooner or later they have to move in with Sam and Ruby. I wanna be a big influence for them.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean on the cheek. “You already are.”

_******* _


	10. Little Boys

 

            Castiel was calling Meg before he got back into his work mode at home after lunch. It rang 3 times before someone finally answered. “Hello?”

            “Hey Meg, It’s Cas. I’m just calling to see how everything is going?” Castiel smiled tapping his fingers onto his office table, listening to Dean talk to the babies in the den. “Hey Castiel, things have been okay and lonely over here.”

            “Any word on um,” Castiel stands up and looks around the doors, checking if Raven or Blake were in the area. “On?”

            “On Crowley,” He says knowing they were not close to him. “Has he come back or showed any signs of being there since the kids left?”

            There was a pause. “No, he has not.”

            “Are you sure, you seem hesitant?”

            “Yes, I’m positive. Now, how are my babies?” Meg asks. You could almost feel the smile coming from her face, although yet a sigh came from her lips. “Well, they’re lovely kids.”

            “Something has happened, right? I figured Raven would have a breakdown by now…” Cas frowned. “Although Raven doesn’t talk much and is very timid and scared, she wasn’t the one to have the breakdown. Blake had a little – well big breakdown last night. He’s been sleeping throughout today. It kind-of wore him out.”

            “Blake? Blake’s only had one with me – what happened?” Meg spoke, her voice was shaky and the words she formed seemed to just fall from her mouth in a struggle.

            “Well, Meg I-I don’t know how to say this.”

            “What happened to him Castiel?!” She yelled into the phone making Castiel sit down back in his chair, rubbing his head. Why was it so hard to tell her that her little boy had been sexual abused. He had told many parents before that their child had cancer or were dying and although that was hard for him, this was even harder.

            “Meg, he was alone in a room with Dean’s father, John, and John touched his shoulder in a friendly way and Blake screamed and flipped out and later that night he told – he told me the things Crowley had done to him.” Castiel voice was cracking. It just now hit him that this had happened to _his_ son too.

            “What the hell did he do to him?! I swear – I swear I’ll kill him if he touched my baby! I’ll kill him!” Meg yelled into the phone as if she was talking to Crowley herself.

            “Meg, please calm down.”

            “I’ll calm down when you tell me what happened to my baby boy!” She forced out of her mouth, the words crashing out like lightening in a storm. “Okay – Blake had told me that when him and Crowley were alone, Crowley would sit down with him and talk with him. After he talked to Blake for a little bit Crowley would touch his shoulder, and then…” Cas bit his lip and wiped his eyes.

            “Then he’d keep going south until he was at places Blake didn’t want him be. Blake told me he didn’t like it and told him to stop but he never would. He told me that sometime Crowley would go into his room at night and do the same things. Blake said it was worse when they were alone.”

            “Oh my God…my baby boy…” She was crying, seeming like she was shaking. “Meg, I’m so sorry…”

            “How could I let this happen Castiel? Why didn’t I see it?!” She yelled almost more at herself than at Cas. “No one could have known Meg, please don’t blame yourself. I can come over right now if you need it.”

            “No Castiel, I’ll be okay…Can I talk to them tomorrow?” She asked, trying to straighten herself out. “Yes, of course!” Castiel answered looking at the door seeing Riley looking in. “I have to go now Meg, one of my kids is wanting me.”

            “That’s fine, I’ll text you if anything happens.” She states.

            “No, please call me. I rather talk.” Cas smiles, Riley coming into the room closer to one of his fathers. “Okay Castiel, thank you, goodbye.”

            “Goodbye.” Castiel smiled and hung up, turning his chair around to Riley. “Yes Riley?” Castiel asks. “Papa is Blake okay?”

            Castiel sighed. “Yes Riley, he’s all okay, I promise.”

            Riley sighed. “Then why won’t he play with me?”

            “He’s a little tired today Riley. Can you play with your sisters?” Cas asked smiling. Riley looked down and frowned. “They never want to play with me anymore and when they do they want to play with dolls and stuff…”

            “Oh, Champ,” Cas stood up and picked up Riley, sitting him in his lap when he sat back down, “what’s so bad about playing with some Barbie’s?”

            “Because they’re for _girls,_ Papa!”Riley shouted, crossing his arms, pouting. “Who said they were for girls?”

            “That’s what all the kids at school tell me.” 

            “Well, they’re all wrong. Dolls and stuff like that aren’t just for girls, they’re for boys too.” Castiel smiled.

            “How? They’re all pink and have bows and stuff all over them?” Riley asked, seeming very interested now. Cas smirked. “Well, when I was a little boy about your age, that’s all I played with. Not because I _had_ to. My parents would buy me little toy cars, and action figures, but I’d always would go back to the dolls and the stuffed animals.”

            “But you’re a boy!” Riley said in awe. “Yes, I am a boy. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t play with things like that. In fact, my parents would sometimes make me go play with your Uncle Gabriel just because they didn’t like me playing with those dolls.”

            “But, you just said playing with dolls was okay for you to do, why would they not let you play with your dolls?” Riley was confused now, looking for an answer. “My parents weren’t like me and your daddy and I don’t want you to think that is it is wrong to play with things that are _girly_ or _stupid_. I want you to play with what you want to play with, that’s what I’m trying to say.” Castiel smiled. Riley got up and looked at his Father. “So if I ask Ethan to play with me and she says that cars are for boys, I can tell her that it’s okay, because girls can play with cars too?”

            “Well, if you put it that way you can Riley.” Castiel smiled and watched Riley leave the room, seeing Dean and Lyric walk in.

            “I didn’t know that you used to play with dolls all the time.” Dean said chuckling with their youngest daughter drooling onto his shirt. “You don’t know a lot of things about me Mr. Winchester.” Castiel smiles, getting up and letting Dean pass the baby to him.

            “You should tell me more, I mean I just told you some of mine.” Dean asks, kissing Cas on the cheek. “Maybe later Dean, maybe later.”


	11. Just What God Wanted...

Dean walked out of Cas’s office and back towards the living room where one pouting Ryan was waiting. He walked past the guest room and peeked inside for a second and saw that Blake was sitting up and rubbing his eyes with his fists. He looked helpless and scared. God, Dean remembered those days. He stepped inside. “Hey, Blake, how are you feeling?”

Bake blinked up at Dean and shrugged. “I’m sorry…”

Dean slowly sat down on the cot in front of the young boy. “There’s nothing to be sorry over, buddy.”

“I didn’t mean to act like that…it’s just…”

Dean placed a hand gently on Blake’s blanket covered knee. “I know what you are going through.”

“You do?” Blake stared into Dean’s eyes with a glimmer of hope that he would feel better about himself.

Dean nodded. “I went through the same thing you were going through, bud. Believe me when I tell you that it does get better. You’re out of harms way and safe now. He’s not going to see you anymore. I’m not going to let that happen.”

“You mean it?”

“Every word.” Dean smiled moving the hair off Blake’s forehead. “Now do you wanna rest some more or hang out around the house?”

“Can I hang out with you?” Blake seemed serious.

Dean rose to his feet and placed his hands firmly supporting his back. “Sure, I was just about to put Ryan down for his nap then do some laundry.”

“Can I help?”

“Sure, bud.” Dean walked out of the room and towards Ryan, who was chewing on his favorite stuffed animals ear. “Ryan, it’s naptime. I know Mr. Cranky-pants is ready for a nap.”

Blake watched as Dean slowly bent over and picked up the 1 year old. They walked into the nursery and Dean sat in the rocking chair. Lyric was already fast asleep and Ryan was always very quiet when he was tired. So Dean knew he wouldn’t wake her. Blake sat on the floor near the exit of the nursery and watched Dean slowly rock the baby to sleep for the whole 15 minutes it took.

When Ryan was put down Dean walked out of the room and Blake followed. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you handle what happened?”

Dean smirked. “If you want the correct answer you’ll have to ask my brother, your soon to be adopted father.”

“I don’t want the correct answer from my soon to be adopted father. I want your answer.”

Dean was stunned at the respond. Blake was so confident and outspoken. He amazed him that Blake could just crumble to pieces in a matter of seconds because of what Crowley did to him. He could only imagine the man Blake could be come. “I did things I shouldn’t have. I held in the anger and took it out on people. I got expelled from two schools and almost didn’t graduate with my class. This one girl got me back on the right track and turned my life around and I went to college and therapy. I graduated with a Master’s in education to become a literature teacher for high school.”

“How do you handle it day by day?”

“You take a deep breath and tell yourself that you’re going to be ok. You’re safe.” Dean smiled. “Blake, I’ll tell you this. You are a confident, bright young boy. You make everyone smile even though you have been through so much. Just keep the smile on your face. Think of the positive. Maybe, just maybe, Raven might catch on as well.”

“I hope so.” Blake nodded giving a faint smile. “Thank you Dean.”

“No problem, kiddo.” Dean ruffled the boy’s hair. “Now go do kids things and stop watching me do grown up things.”

Blake trotted off down the hall to the girls room and hung out there. Dean finished the laundry and walked up into his and Cas’s bedroom. He laid down and picked up a book. Things were getting better.

_*** &^%$#%^&*(&^%$#%^&*()** _

“I’m just saying I think it would be awesome to hide the gender of the baby.” Dean proclaimed as he slide out of the car. He opened the passenger side back door and pulled Lyric out of her car seat.

Cas walked around the car and looked confused with Ryan on his hip. “How would that be awesome? Sam, Ruby, John and all of our friends would just by gender neutral stuff.”

“Or we tell them the wrong gender and make our son gay or our daughter a tom boy.” Dean smiled.

“I don’t trust you with ideas dealing with children. That’s how Dot got her name.” Cas opened the door to the doctors office.

“Dottie Maddox is a great name. Shut your mouth.”

“I’m not saying the name was bad. I’m saying that it was a very different name.”

Before Dean and Cas even checked in Anna came in smiling. “Dean, Cas, come on in, I saw you drive up.”

“I think we should tell everyone the gender in a creative way.” Cas sat down in the chair by the examining table. Dean set Lyric in Cas’s lap with Ryan and then slide up on the table.

“Good idea.” Dean nodded watching Anna close the door and walked over to them.

“Well, Dean, Cas, you’re both looking good. The twins are looking as cute as ever.” Anna smiled placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I have a few things I wanna do before I bring out the sonogram, like measure your belly and feeling around.”

“Go ahead. I guess you want me to lay down.” Dean nodded slowly laying flat on his back and lifting his shirt over the swell.

Anna measure Dean’s swell and made a face and Dean noticed it. His eyes widened and he stared at Cas, who was clueless. “What’s wrong, Dean?”

“Anna, what was with that face? Is something wrong? Don’t tell me something’s wrong.” Dean was on the verge of panicking.

“Nothing is wrong, Dean. It’s just you’re a bigger than normal for a singleton pregnancy. I mean you were a tad bigger with Riley, but that is because of the muscle memory from the triplets, but you’re much bigger than you’re supposed to be. I need to check whether you’re further along than we thought or you’re having more than one.”

“More than one…” Dean managed to say.

A nurse rolled in the sonogram machine and Anna got things prepped instantly. At this point Cas was just as panicked as Dean. Anna didn’t waste any time before she put gel on the transducer and then squirted some on Dean’s stomach making him flinch but had no reaction time because she placed the wand on his swell and moved it around. She smiled after a few moments of silence beside the babbles of the twins. “It’s twins.”

Cas and Dean both were wide eyed and mouth gaped. “Twins?” Cas asked.

“Yes, sir, and I can tell you the genders if you would like.” Anna smiled.

“Yes…we wanna know.” Dean nodded.

“You’re having two boys.” Anna smiled and stood. “Congratulations, you two.”

She handed Dean and paper towel to wipe off the gel and she left the room to schedule the next appointment. They both just say there for a few minutes staring at nothing. Cas was the first to stand up. He had both kids on his hip. “Twins…” Dean muttered. “Twins, Cas…”

“I know, baby. God didn’t just want us to have a baby, he wanted to bless us with two.” Dean hopped off the bed and slipped Lyric back into his arms.

“Yeah, I guess so..” Dean hummed rubbing the side of his belly as they walked out.

_*** &^%$#%^&*()*&^%$#@$%^&*()_** _

Dean walked over to the bed in his pajamas later that evening and picked up his book that he was almost finished reading. Cas walked in seconds later and gently pushed Dean’s book aside. He groaned and closed the novel and set in aside as Cas kissed Dean. “I think when the kids get back from their sleep over with Sam and Ruby we should tell them about their new baby brothers.”

“Good idea. We should be thinking of names now.” Dean replied.

Cas looked around the bedroom. “Where did we put the baby names book we had for Riley, Lyric and Ryan?”

“It’s in the bathroom. Remember we thought it would be funny book to read through would you’re taking a huge shit.” Dean laughed.

“I’ll go get it, where did we put it?” Cas padded off.

“In the basket by the toilet.” Dean called. “While you’re there can you open me a new toothbrush?”

“What happened with your old one?”

“Our very own Little Miss Lyric thought it would be nice to throw it in the toilet. I caught her before she flushed, but I’m out of a toothbrush and we have a spare under the sink.” There was silence from the bathroom. Dean sat completely up and stared at the master bathroom from the bed. “Cas? Everything ok? Cas?”

_******* _


	12. Holes

 

            Castiel couldn’t believe what he was staring at. There was a box of condoms under sink and that was normal; what was not normal was the thumb tacks beside the box. He went silent for a moment and looked into the box looking closely at the condom, seeing that every single one had tiny holes in them.

“Cas? Everything ok? Cas?” Dean called out, while Castiel was finally putting two and two together. It was almost as if steam was coming from his ears in a rage. He grabbed one of the packs, and rushes to the doorway between the bed and the bathroom. “What the fuck is this?!” Castiel yells, throwing the condom pack at Dean.

Dean shook being caught off guard. It took him a second to even see what was thrown at him. “It’s a condom – I thought you took sex-ed.” Dean replied.

“Don’t be a smartass with me; you know damn-well what I’m talking about!” Cas yelled enraged. Dean looked at him confused, and Castiel didn’t even let him think. “The holes, Dean! The thumb tasks under our sink! What the hell is this?! Please tell me this was one of the kids being curious or something. Please tell me it is not what I think.” Castiel said in a full rush of words.

“Baby, I can explain—“

“Don’t _baby_ me; tell me what the hell is going on!” Castiel started yelling again. His voice was already hurting, and his heart was sinking. “I – I wanted another baby.” Dean said calmly looking down.

“So you went behind _your husband’s_ back, and popped tiny, little holes into each and every condom so I wouldn’t see it?!”

“Cas, it’s not like that—“

“Then what is it like?! Because all I see is a man being selfish and sneaking behind his _own_ lover’s back to make it look like it was a fucking accident!” Castiel practically screamed, letting his hurt feelings pour out. His eyes were getting wet with tears of angry and sorrow.

“Castiel, please listen to me – let me talk!” Dean said, letting Castiel see the tears that were falling down his perfect cheeks. Castiel sighed, “I’m listening.”

“I – I didn’t want my last pregnancy to be full of tragedy. When I went into labor, it was when Dot lost her leg, and when my mom died…I just wanted it to be drama free. I already knew you didn’t want another baby, so I took action into my own hands.” Dean said with a shaky voice, eyes weeping with tears. “I lost my mother, the woman I looked up to the most, and my own daughter had to have her foot amputated. On top of that I went into labor and didn’t even know it. The last thing I wanted was to have my baby the day my Mom died! I am reminded everyday on Riley’s birthday that Dot lost her fucking leg and I lost my mom!”

Castiel let the tears he was forming in his own eyes form, letting his rage turn into sorrow and depression. “You didn’t even fucking tell me Dean! How am I supposed to know if you never tell me you want a baby? How am I supposed to know you just wanted to be pregnant again from past tragedy? Because you _never_ told me! Tell me – How?!”

Castiel walked closer to the bed Dean was still sitting on, wanting him to see his face. He wanted him to see the pain going through his blood. Dean got up from the bed and got some-what close to Cas’s space. “Castiel, I told you! You said you didn’t want another baby, so I assumed me telling you I wanted one would mean that you’d reject me and I couldn’t take that!”

“You just assumed I wouldn’t change my mind? You assumed that if you told me I’d automatically reject you, reject the man I love with all my damn heart?!” Castiel yelled at Dean, crying now as he continued, “Even if I didn’t want a baby, after you’d have told me why you wanted a baby, I would have said yes, you know? But you just went behind my back! You know how much that hurts Dean?” Castiel wipes his eyes and starts to walk away. Dean followed him, pleading, “I’m so sorry Cas! I’m so sorry!” He cried.

“Sorry doesn’t fix what you did and what is happening! You – you even used to my fucking weakness against me! How am I supposed to ever trust you again?” Castiel cried himself, Dean walking over to him. “Castiel, I just wanted the pain of my past go away! I love you! To this day it still hurts! I just wanted the pain to go away. I’m so sorry!” Dean begged, touching Cas’s shoulder. Castiel flinched back.

“Don’t touch me! I feel like I was used! That all those times you weren’t even thinking about me during sex, you just wanted a baby. It wasn’t out of love it was pure want, and not even wanting me!” Castiel sobbed, turning his back to Dean. “Castiel I’d never do that to you! I do love you, and I always did it out of love! The baby…babies were an afterthought! You were always the first thing I think about! I didn’t _use_ you! I would never do that to you, Cas! ”

Dean was behind Castiel, not touching him, just in his presents. “All the bullshit you said, ‘ _God wants us to raise another one.’_ You knew that that was my weakness because of how I was raised. Well, you know what Dean? You don’t even know the whole story of my life, my childhood, and you used something you knew against me! Just because you thought it’d get me into liking the whole idea? Did you think I was just gonna tell you not to be pregnant?!”

“Castiel please forgive me! I did wrong, just please forgive me. I beg you! Don’t leave me, please. I’m sorry, please, don’t leave me.” Dean pleaded trying to get Castiel to look at him. He finally turned around, his red eyes looking at Dean’s. “Dean, I love you, but I got to get out and think some… Otherwise I’m just gonna blow up on you more and I can’t do that…” Castiel voice cracked while he talked.

“Castiel, I’m so sorry…” Dean cried. Cas brought his hand to Dean’s chin and kissed his cheek. “Will you be okay with the babies?”

Dean shook his head. “Castiel, I need you, baby I need you. Don’t leave…” He cried. Castiel wiped Dean’s tears. “Dean, I’ll be back…I just need to clear my head.” Castiel frowned, trying to keep calm, his finger glossed over Dean’s pregnant swell. Dean nodded. “I’ll be okay – will you call me?” Dean asked, still crying, placing his hand where Cas’s fingers touched. 

Castiel nodded and then kissed Dean’s cheek again whispering ‘ _I love you’_ to him, before walking out the door. Castiel didn’t bring anything with him, he just had to clear his head; like the one time Dean did. He knew Dean was safe and to him then it was going to be okay.


	13. That's Just What He Does...

Dean walked into the living room and sat on the couch. He was shaking and taking in short breaths of air. He couldn’t see past the wall of tears falling from his eyes. He covered his mouth with his hands.

Things had been going great between him and Cas. They were finally acting normal again. That’s when Dean had to fuck up yet again. That’s just what he does. He gets close to someone and he ends up fucking up and ruining everything. He was a fuck up. John called him fuck up plenty of times, Lisa told him he was a fuck up, Sam knew Dean was a fuck up, and Cas realized that Dean was the biggest fuck up ever created and should have died in that car wreck instead of Mary.

Cas didn’t love him anymore. Dean knew it. Cas stopped loving Dean the moment he stormed out of the house the night he was hit by that car. Cas was just tolerating Dean so he could stay with their kids.

Dean could breathe. His chest felt tight. He choked on his sobs. He heard one of the twins cry and that broke his heart more. Dean climbed the stairs and into the nursery to find Lyric standing in her crib.

The Green beans were getting to the age where they could recognize who was Papa and who was Daddy. Lyric definitely wanted her Papa. Dean lifted her out of the crib. “Hey, lady bug, why are you awake? Are you wet? Hungry? Wanting attention?”

He couldn’t even act fake cheery. It took an hour for him to break. He sat on the floor of the nursery with two crying babies crawling around wanting Cas. He brought his knees the closest he could to his nose and sobbed for 15 minutes before picking up his phone and scrolling and clicking on the first contact he trusted with his…feelings. He waited for three rings then an answer. “Hello?”

“Charlie?”

“Dean? Are you ok? You sound upset and I hear babies fussing. What’s going on?”

“I messed up, Charlie. I messed up big time.” Dean sobbed. “I need help.”

“Are you at home?”

Dean sniffed. “Yes, grab the spare key inside the hollowed out placed behind the third brick on the right of the doorknob and you’ll find me in the nursery.”

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Hang tight, darling.” Charlie hung up. Dean laid down on his side facing the door and green beans who were calming down, but stilling fussing. He knew Charlie wouldn’t be long because she lived in walking distance to their house.

She was here in record time and he let Dean lay on the floor while she walked around him and gt the twins back to sleep then helped him up and into their bedroom so they could talk. “What’s going on here, Dean? You need to calm down. This can’t be good for the baby.”

“Babies…twins.”

Charlie nodded, taking a mental note to jump up and down later. “Take some deep breaths. Where is Cas? Why are you a wreck?”

“I fucked up.” Dean panted after taking deep breaths to stop hyperventilating. “I broke the condoms on purpose so I could get pregnant. Cas didn’t want anymore kids and I wanted one more to cover over the last time with Riley. Cas had said no before so I took action in my own hands and lied. Now he hates me and I want to die.”

“Hey, Hey, don’t speak like that.” Charlie placed a hand on Dean’s knee. “Yes, that doesn’t sound like a very smart situation, but Cas isn’t going to leave you. He loves you, he would never hate you. Sure, he might be mad and you might have lost his trust for a little while, but he will always love you.”

“No, Charlie. I’ve…I’ve never seen him that angry. It was worse than the whole drive from Lebanon to Lawrence after my car wreck. I really fucked up.”

“Dean, you have to calm down. You’re going to hurt the babies…” Charlie started to say.

“I DON’T CARE!” Dean spat out. “I don’t deserve to be a father!”

“Dean…”

“NO! I can’t do anything right! Everything I touch turns to crap!” Dean yelled. “I just wanna die so I can stop hurting the people I love!”

Charlie took the sides of Dean’s face. “Dean, you’re wrong. You are one of the best English teachers I know. One of nicest I have ever met. You have student change their schedule to be in your class. You teach 100 students a day and all your classes are full. You have changed the lives of so many different people in the past 15 years you have been teaching. You are an awesome father. I walk past your classroom some days and I hear you tell stories about what you did with the kids the day before and I see how the kids act around you. They adore you, they look up to you. The Sweet Peas, Carrot and Green Beans definitely have you wrapped around their fingers.” Charlie smiled. “What you did was, yes, stupid, but it is forgivable. Cas will come around. I promise.”

“You think so?” Dean hiccupped wiping his eyes.

“I know so.” Charlie smiled. “You and Cas are meant to be and there is no breaking y’all up. Y’all are soulmates.”

“Thank you.” Dean whispered.

“You get some rest. I’ll stay here for the night and watch over the twins. You sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I can’t thank you enough, Charlie.” Dean sniffed.

“It’s nothing. You’d do the same for me. Now, sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.” Charlie slid of the bed and out of the room.

Dean took a deep breath in the empty room. He felt two little kicks. He had felt them move yet, until now. He had a faint smile tug on his lips as he looked across to Cas’s side of the bed and remembered it was empty and began to frown. Cas missed the twins first movement. He rubbed circles on his side. He probably didn’t wanna feel them anyway. These babies were just going to be a burden to Cas.

The tears were back. Cas might forgive Dean for what he did but Cas would never forget that these twin boys are his burdens. He didn’t really want them. Dean forced them upon him. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall over the bridge of his nose. He felt horrible. Everything was getting better. Everything was getting back to normal, but Dean had to go and fuck everything up like always.

_**He cried himself to sleep that night.** _

_******* _


	14. The Pouring Rain

 

Castiel drove all the way till he had gotten to his brother’s house. He went to the door and knocked a couple times before someone finally answered. “Castiel, what are you doing here so late?” Gabriel asked just peeking his head out the door. His hair was messed up and since only his shoulder was been shown, Castiel assumed he must have been naked. He sighed looked down. “I was coming here to clear my head and talk to you about somethings, but I see you’re a bit busy.” Gabriel almost blushed and frowned. “Cas, you know even if I wasn’t doing something with Kali right now she wouldn’t let you stay.”

Cas frowned. “I was hoping she’d understand and let me, or that you’d be a good big brother and let me. I just need you this one time. Dean and I got into a fight, and I feel used, and angry, and played with. Please, just this one night.” He felt like a little kid as he talked, wiping his eyes from the new tears forming.

“Look, I’m sorry little bro, but you know Kali is just like what mom and dad were. She doesn’t like the way you live with life with Dean…” Gabriel frowned. Castiel was about to say something when he heard the female’s voice. “Gabriel, hurry up!” She yelled for him.

Gabriel turned his head and yelled back, “I’ll be right there, honey!” He turned his head back to his brother and spook, “I’m sorry…I have to go.”

The door shut on Cas’s face before he could protest. He frowned and walked back to his car, rubbing his eyes. He was even angrier than before. “Can’t even count on my own fucking brother…I can’t trust my husband, I can’t talk to my brother, I can’t do anything can I?” He mumbled to himself, wiping his eyes so he could see.

He started the car and started driving once more, going to his former roomate’s house. It was starting to rain which was just Castiel’s luck, and of course it wasn’t just a sprinkle it had to be pouring. Anna’s house was not too far away from Gabriel’s so the drive didn’t take long.

He made it there within 10 minutes, getting out into the pouring rain, and knocking on the door. At this moment in time he thought it was stupid that she didn’t have some type-of overhang so he was getting soaked waiting. No one was answering after a minute so he knocked again. After another minute of getting soaked you assume no one was home, getting back into his car, and left.

He stopped on the side of the road and closed his eyes to think. Who else was there? It didn’t take long for Cas to realize Meg lived very close from where he was. So, turning on his turn signal and getting back on the road.

He turned onto the road where Meg’s big house stood, and parked on the curb beside it. The rain was getting harder, but it wasn’t like Cas cared – he was already soaked. Castiel walked to the giant door, knocking as he did weeks ago. No one answered and Cas was about to sigh and give up – that was until something caught the corner of his eye. He turned around and looked through the window seeing a royal mess. Chairs were knocked over and broken glass was everywhere; it seemed like someone was struggling.

He knocked again on the door. “Meg? Hello? Anyone home?” Castiel yelled knocking on the door harder than before. He looked through the window again, and decided to look around the side. Most windows were covered by blinds; expect one that was in their den. It was small, but Castiel could see in, and he was glad he could.

He was certain at what he was seeing. Meg was on the ground, make-up all down her cheeks. She didn’t have a shirt on. She could only half corner herself because her other hand was handcuffed to the kitchen chair beside her. The skirt she was wearing was high up her waist, but just low enough to cover her. She had one heel off, and one heel; the other heel was on the table close by her.

Castiel knew Crowley was in there; there was no other reason for all of this mess. He ran around to the front door, and tried opening the door, but it was tightly locked with a chair in front of it.

He ran to the back, brushing his soaked hair out of his face. The door was locked with a chair in front of it like the other. Cas sighed, and ran over to the window again, this time Meg seeing his face.

She mouthed the words, but Cas couldn’t hear her. It seemed she was saying, “Castiel go! Leave! He’ll kill you, go!” But Castiel couldn’t leave her like that. He shook his head, closing his eyes and punching through the glass. He let out of tiny groan of pain, glass cutting up his hand. Although glass was all over the floor, he jumped in and ran over to Meg.

“Castiel leave!” She cried out, as Castiel tired his hardest to find something to get the handcuffs off of her. “I know he’s coming, go!” She shouted, voice cracking in pain. Castiel shook his head as he continued looking.

“CASTIEL LEAVE!” She forced out of her lungs, hearing footsteps coming down the stairs. “Stop the fuck is in my bloody house?!” Crowley yelled, beer bottle in hand, showing his face. Castiel panicked and ran towards Meg. “Meg, I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise.”

“Castiel look out!” She screamed, Crowley coming straight at him, grabbing Cas and tossing him on the ground. “What do you think you’re doing messing with my lady?!” He shouted punching Cas multiple times in the face, until Castiel spit blood. “Leave her alone!” Castiel yelled getting one of his hands free from Crowley’s grip and punching him in the stomach getting up, looking around.

He ran back to Meg, trying to break the metal off of the chair, only for Crowley to come and grab Meg. “Leave her out of this!” Castiel shouted. Crowley smiled at Cas, looking Cas in the eyes. “Okay…” He whispered, slinging her against the wall, knocking her unconscious.

“Meg!” Cas yelled, not having time to think before Crowley has him again, throwing him near the window he came in. He felt an enormous amount of pain shoot through his chest, like his some of his ribs were crushed on his landing.

“Now that I’m down with her, I’m finishing you!” Crowley yelled as Castiel found a sharp piece of glass on the ground, grabbing it. Castiel had had time to merely stand up before seeing Crowley running through him. Cas took a breath, letting Crowley run as fast as he could towards him until Cas moved his hand up fast, letting Crowley slam into the sharp piece of glass.

Castiel felt the blood flow onto his hand and drip onto his chest as the man let out a gasp of pain, falling onto Cas’s chest. Crowley let out his last breath as Castiel stepped back, letting go of the shard. Crowley fell onto the floor, blood dripping all over the floor.

Cas walked over to Meg, holding his chest, getting on the floor with her. She still had a pulse, and Castiel smiled with tears falling down his face. “Everything’s going to be okay Meg…It’s over.”

Castiel looked around, getting up letting a groan come out from his lips. He found the phone and called 9-1-1.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“I – I need help! I’m at 4963 Hollow Street.”

“Sir, what has happened?” The lady asked only for Castiel hang up and drop the phone. He looked at his other hand, the sharp cut on the top of his hand and the tiny ones on his knuckles. Crowley was on the floor, not moving an itch. Castiel realized he had killed him.


	15. That's On Me...

He woke up early. The sun hadn’t even fully come up yet. He slowly sat up and looked at the clock. 4:35. He didn’t know what made him wake up. He didn’t hear anything from the baby monitor, as a matter of fact the monitor wasn’t in the room. He got out of bed and walked into the bathroom and did his business and then splashed his face with water.

He was alone in his bedroom. Cas had never come home. He felt a flutter of movement. The babies probably hated him for all the stress he was putting on them. He stepped out of the bathroom and towards the bed when he saw Charlie in the doorway with his phone in her hands. She looked shocked.

“What’s wrong, Charlie?”

She approached Dean slowly. “I took the monitors with me downstairs where I slept on the couch and took care of the babies so you could sleep. I woke up to your phone ringing. Umm, Cas is in the hospital.”

“What!?” Dean blurted out.

“The doctor said that he is mostly fine. He’s got a few cuts and bruises, plus a cracked rib, but other than that fine.”

“I gotta go to the hospital.” Dean ran a hand down his face. “God, this is all my fault.” He muttered as he rushed into his closet.

“This is not your fault, Dean.” Charlie replied.

Dean stopped and turned to her. “No, Charlie, this time it’s really my fault. If I didn’t go behind my husband’s back and got pregnant without him knowing, we would have never gotten into that fight and he wouldn’t have stormed out and got himself hurt. That’s on me.”

“Dean…”

“NO! Don’t try to defend me. I was in the wrong. I didn’t even think about it. I’m an asshole and don’t deserve to have kids or even deserve to have Cas. So, please, get the twins in the car for me. I need to get dressed and drive to the hospital and see if my husband is ok. That’s the least I can do.” HE watched Charlie nodded and walked out of the room so he could get dressed.

He walked down the steps and out the front door to see Charlie sitting in the drivers seat of the Impala. She rolled down the window and looked at Dean square in the face. “You’re in no condition to drive.”

_*** &^%$%^&*()(*&^%$#%^&*()_** _

Charlie went to park the cars and bring the kids while Dean found Cas’s room. He walked up to the front desk. “Hi, um, I’m looking for Castiel Novak’s room. I’m his husband.”

She smiled. “Dr. Novak is up stairs in room 407b.”

“Thank you.” He walked over to the elevator and placed a hand on his back. He stepped throw the door as rode the machine up one floor and quickly walked down the halls until he approached the correct room. He turned the corner into the room and Cas instantly whipped his head towards Dean. “Oh God.” Dean brought his hands to his face in shock on how bruised Cas’s face was.

“Dean…” Cas let out a somewhat relieved sigh.

Dean rushed to his lover’s side and took Cas’s hand. “Oh God, Cas, I’m so sorry. I’m an ass. I’m sorry. I will never forgive myself for this. You’re too god for me. This is all my fault.” Dean began to sob.

“Shh, Shh, Dean…” Cas began.

“No, you are right. I used you to get what I wanted. That’s what I do, that’s how I got the sweet peas. I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve you. I ruin everything.”

Cas lifted Dean’s chin and wiped the tears falling from Dean’s eyes. “Dean, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Dean sniffed.

He slightly smiled then frowned. “Crowley’s dead.”

“What happened?” Dean mumbled.

Cas started to play with the blanket that wrapped his leg. “He was trying to sexually abuse and rape, Meg. I broke a window to get in and save her and Crowley came after me. I fought him and then he charge at me with a knife and I…”

“You killed him…” Dean finished.

“With a piece of glass. I called the paramedics and police talked with me and after talking with Meg, they can agree on the killing being strictly defense. They are not pressing any charges.”

“Good. How’s Meg.”

“She’s alright, cuts, bruise, and concussion. She is fine.” Cas smiled.

Dean wiped some more tears. “I don’t wanna fight anymore.”

“I like that idea.” Cas nodded.

“I love you, Cas. I love you so much, it hurts. I’m so sorry for what I did. I understand if you want to leave.”

“I never wanna leave. I’m here for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part. I love you, too, Dean. I don’t say it enough, but I do.” Cas slowly bend forward a tad.

Dean filled the gap and kissed his lover. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

_******* _


	16. Chest Pains

 

“Dean, can you take the kids with you to the grocery store. I don’t know if I can handle of them at once.” Castiel said, breathing heavy as his cracked rib made it very painful to breathe 100% correctly. Dean sighed and shook his head, resting his hand on his bloated stomach. “You’ll be fine baby, just stay in bed and rest some more. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

Castiel looked downed at his hand that was wrapped with white bandages and nodded. “Okay Dean, but what if the twins wake-up? Doctors don’t want me to pick anything or lean down.”

Dean kissed his husbands head. “Ssssh, I’ll be back in no more than 30 minutes.” He turns and leaves the room. Castiel hears the door front door shut and the sound of the impala driving away.

Cas stayed in the bed for about 15 minutes in peace, closing his eyes, almost asleep when the sound of kids fighting entered his ears. “But I want to watch TV!” He heard his oldest son yell at one of the sweet – or not so sweet – peas.

“Riley, go play with Blake or something! Me and Ethan are in the middle of a game.” Haley said, to Riley obviously playing a game on their Xbox with one of her sisters. “Blake and Raven are at Uncle Sam’s and Aunt Ruby’s house for the next couple of days you stupid-head!”

Castiel winces as he sits up. He takes a heavy breath and yells, “Hey, Hey! Be nice to each other. I don’t want to get up, and you don’t want to see me if I have to!” Castiel yells, his voice is more hoarse than usual. He has been sleeping for the past day.

“You hear that Riley, no leave us alone and go play with those toy cars of yours.” Haley says, not looking at him but at the TV. “But my favorite TV show is about to come on! It’s a new episode!” Riley whines, begging his sisters to let him watch his show. Ethan paused the TV. “It’ll be on again Riley! Quit being such a baby!” Ethan yelled at him.

“I am not baby!” Riley screams his bottom lip poking out, pouting. “You are if you don’t go away!” Ethan says with an attitude, the Winchester in her coming out. Castiel rubs his eyes, horribly mad.

“Let me watch TV!” Riley yells running over to the Xbox and turning it off. “Riley, just go away!” Ethan screams, throwing a pillow at him harshly. It makes Riley fall down onto his bottom. He is crying at the top of his lungs, as Castiel walks in slowly with his good hand on his chest.

“Ethan, go to your room, _now._ ” Castiel says strongly, giving her the eyes of ‘ _you know you’ve done wrong, and you know you’re going to be punished.’_ “But Papa, he was being so annoying!”

“No buts go to your room! Haley, you too.” Castiel is yelling now, walking slowly over to Riley. “Papa, I didn’t do anything!”

“GO!” Castiel yells at Haley making her run out of that room faster than cheetah. He grabs his chest tight and winces as he gets on his knees to Riley’s level. Riley is still crying, rubbing his butt from the bruise that had formed.

“Where does it hurt Riley?” Castiel says as nicely as possible. Riley points to his bottom wiping his eyes, biting his bottom lip. Castiel nods, “You’re just a little shocked aren’t ya?” Cas said starting to breathe heavy again, the pain getting sharper from the way he was sitting.

Riley nodded and quickly rammed himself into Cas’s stomach. Castiel groans loudly, hoping Riley didn’t notice all the pain he just did, running right into his cracked rib. “Easy there, carrot.” Cas whispered, getting up slowly, letting Riley hug his legs. “Next time, come me and your daddy’s room you can watch your shows with me or him.” Cas pats Riley’s head. “I won’t punish you because I think this was punishment enough.”

Riley looked up at Castiel, wanting to be picked up. “I know Daddy still picks you up, but I can’t right now.” Cas frowns, holding his throbbing chest. Riley nods. “Can we watch my show in your room now?” He asks in almost a whisper and Castiel smiles lightly. “Yes buddy, we can.”

Castiel walks back into his and Dean’s room, Riley jumping up on the bed. Cas gives Riley the remote as he turns sideways. “Riley, I’m going to have my eyes closed while you watch your show is that okay?” Cas asked, voice hoarse again. “Yes Papa, Daddy said you have some boo-boo’s that needed to heal.”

“Did he?” Cas smiled, closing his eyes. “Yes, and he said you were a superhero! I told him that you didn’t look like one, but Daddy laughed at me. He said that some superheroes don’t have capes. I knew that already though, Spiderman doesn’t have a cape. He laughed at me and then said that you were a bigger superhero than Spiderman! Are you Papa or is Daddy lying to me?”

Castiel smiled almost asleep from Riley’s rambling. “I don’t feel like one, ask Daddy again tonight…” Cas whispers, breathing as lightly as he could. “Okay Papa, I will. Daddy said that you were a knight in shining armor to Lyric and Ryan. I don’t understand how you can be both though. If you were a knight in shining armor, then I would have seen it before and you don’t have any of that.”

Castiel laughs a little with his eyes closed, listening to the TV show in the background. Riley is soon consumed by his favorite TV show, not speaking a word again to Cas. Castiel thinks to himself about what Dean said. ‘ _I’m no superhero – I killed a man.’_ He says in his thoughts, frowning now. _‘I am a murder covered in rust, not a knight in shining armor.’_

He is almost asleep when he feels a warm body get closer to him. Riley’s head is now rested on his shoulder. Castiel smiles and wraps his arm around him, although it was his hurt hand. The bad thoughts leave his mind when Riley kisses his father’s forehead, whispering “I love you, super papa.” Thinking that he was asleep. Castiel smiles feel his eyes getting teary although they are closed. The front door opens as Castiel finally falls asleep.


	17. Don't Gloss Over It...

It was quiet as he entered the house. He put all the groceries away and then searched for everyone. He didn’t buy everything he wanted to because he was getting to the point n his pregnancy where he looked full term for a single baby but he was only halfway there. He was smaller than when he was pregnant with the triplets but much bigger than when he was carrying Riley. It was not fun to have the weight of full term, but be no where near the end.

He’s back was aching and he just wanted to sit down and pu his feet up, but he couldn’t because he was a man down. He peeked into Dot’s room to see he in an intense game of Mass Effect on her play station 4 she begged for, for 2 months and paid for most of it with her allowance. She was definitely making it worth her while.

He smirked and kept moving to Haley’s room where she was not happy. She was pouting with her arms crossed over her chest, sniffing. Dean could see the dried tear tracks on her cheeks. “Haley?”

She glanced over at the doorway. Her bangs went past her eyebrows which meant she needed a hair cut. When her eyes connected with Dean’s she immediately got off the bed and darted over to him. She wrapped her arms around him and her face pressed into his hip. “I got in trouble, Daddy! I’m sorry! I was mean to Riley and Papa yelled! I’m sorry! I know we we’re supposed to be on our best behavior while Papa was recovering…”

“Hey, hey, shhh, Hal, it’s ok. Next time Papa isn’t going to send you to your room, he’s gonna tell you to wait until Daddy gets home. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded and wiped her eyes and let go of her father.

“So run along.” Dean patted her head as she ran off. He had found 2 of the four, but she house was still too quiet. He walked over to Ethan’s room and slowly roomed the door and just as he thought he saw Ethan pacing back and forth as her curly dirty blonde hair bouncing with every step. She looked pissed off. “Ethan, sweetie…”

“Leave me alone.” She blurted out.

“Hey, hey, enough with that attitude.” Dean pointed stepping inside and closing the door. “Calm down and tell what happened.”

“Me and Haley were playing the Xbox and Riley just up and turned it off!” Ethan yelled.

“Hey, hey, Ethan, I said calm down.” Dean snapped.

Ethan wasn’t listening. “Me and Haley had it first! We were in the middle of a game and he kept nagging us!”

“Ethan, lower your voice.”

“Papa took Riley’s side! Riley doesn’t get in trouble! He never does! I am the one who always gets blamed! No one ever listens to what I have to say!”

Dean walked over to Ethan and covered her mouth with his hand. He leaned in close to her face and stared her right in the eyes. “Ethan, I will not tolerate your yelling. You’re going to calm down tell me exactly what happened and then we’ll talk. I’m not going to have you act like this, not with Papa hurt and me carrying the babies. You didn’t listen to me three times. I should pop you for that. If you don’t calm down, right now I will. Understand?” He whispered ever so lightly.

Ethan nodded wide eyed and teary. He breathing quickened. Dean pulled his hand away and watched Ethan vigorously wipe her eyes free of tears. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“It’s ok, sweetie. Now, go sit on your bed and tell me happened.” Dean replied as he grabbed Ethan chair by her desk and pulled it over to her bed and sat down. He huffed out a breath of air as he relaxed and let his feet chill out for a little while.

Ethan wiped her eyes once more and looked at her father. “Me and Haley were playing a game on the Xbox. Riley came up and asked if he could watch his show. We told him no, we were playing on the Xbox. He started to beg and annoy us. He started yelling so we yelled back and Papa yelled and Riley got up snort nose…” Ethan started getting hyped.

“Ethan…take is down a notch.”

“I got angry and threw a pillow. Riley fell on his butt and started crying. Papa came out of his room and yelled at me and Haley, making us go to our room. It’s not fair.”

“Why do you think it’s not fair?” Dean asked knowing the answer.

“Riley was just as much in wrong as I was. I got yelled at and forced to come in here, when Riley get away with it.” She pouted.

“Honey, I know it doesn’t seem fair, but Riley’s five years old. He’s still learning the differences between right and wrong. I wasn’t there, but I could tell you what happened after you left.” Dean rubbed her swollen middle. “Papa walked over to Riley. He asked him where he was hurting. After a little talk, he would say “I think this is punishment enough, but next time you do something like this you’ll get punished.” Papa and I did the same thing to you when you were his age. We aren’t playing favorite, dolly baby.”

“Sure feels like it.” Ethan mumbled.

“Honey, you’re the one who keep s getting into fights and starting trouble. Papa and I still love you equally to Haley, Dot, Riley, Lyric, and Ryan, but you’re the one who edging your way on the path like your Daddy.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Ethan whimpered.

Dean nodded. “Here’s the deal. You stay in here, lay down, maybe take a nap for an hour and I’ll talk with Riley and Papa.”

“Ok.” She whispered laying down on her side.

Dean grunted as he stood from the chair and waddled to his and Cas’s room. He saw that Cas was asleep wrapped around a sleeping Riley. It was a difficult task but he got Riley out of Cas’s grasp without waking either of them and carried Riley in his arms into the boy’s room.

He walked back into the Master bedroom and Cas was stirring awake. He lifted his head slowly. “Hey.” He rasped.

“I’m surprised Ethan’s voice didn’t wake you.” Dean smirked.

“The pain medicine knocks me out.” Cas yawned holding his right side, his bad side.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not going to be doing in marathons for a while.” Cas tried to crack a joke.

Dean smiled as he walked over to his husband. “I got the story from Haley and Ethan. Haley sobbed into my hip and Ethan just about punched me.”

“Every day she acts more and more like you. Some good, some bad.” Cas sat up slowly.

“No, Cas, lay down.”

Cas shook his head and propped on the bedpost. “I have been laying all day.”

“I want you to get better as fast as you can.” Dean sat down on the bed with the most obvious expression of relief, there was no hiding it, Dean was miserable.

“I’m not going to get to far behind in my work because I just sit in a chair all day…at home most days. Very relaxed, not stressful, not strenuous, very chill.” Cas smiled and noticed Dean’s expression. “I wish I could get better fast. I know that you’re miserable. I know you can be on your feet and carrying lyric or Ryan or even Riley very much. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Cas it’s fine. Anna says I can’t still lift Riley and the twins. I’m fine. I’m pregnant, that’s my fault.” Dean retorted. “I’m worried about you. I want you to know that Raven and Blake and have fallen in love with Sam and Ruby and vice versa. They can’t wait to begin the adoption process. Sam and Ruby have agreed that Meg has complete freedom to be in their lives as much as she wants. For right now, they are going to spend weekends at Sams and the week here. Before school starts in August the process should start and by Christmas Rave and Blake will be Winchesters.”

“Don’t gloss over it…” Cas pointed.

“What?”

“I may be on pain medication, but I heard it. You’re still caught up in the fight.” Cas remarked.

“Yeah, I’m an ass.”

“You’re my ass.” Cas smiled. “I love you and want these babies just as much as you do. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

“I’m going to go lay on the couch, so you can rest.” Dean got off the bed.

“I mean it, Dean. I want our twins boys.” Cas smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

_******* _


	18. Nightmares in Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has content that may be sensitive to some readers. If you have a light or sensitive heart, I would read this with caution for this chapter may be triggering. You have been warned!

_He didn’t why it was so dark and he didn’t remember wondering into this dark place he was in. So many people were there staring at him as if it were their own reflection in a mirror, obsessed. He looked around at the ground; it was hard wood with glass around him. Everything else around him was black shadows, with certain people coming from the darkness, appearing and disappearing._

_Meg walked closer towards him staring at him, her eyes looking soulless. “Why did you do it Castiel?” She asks, her voice echoing into the shadows of nothingness. “Why – Why did I do what?”_

_“Don’t play stupid with me Castiel. You killed him! You murdered my husband!” She shouted right at his face, her eyes dripping black tears as her make-up fell down her cheeks. “Why’d ya do it Castiel?! Why did you kill him?!”_

_“I-I was saving you! He was going to kill you, he – he raped you!” Castiel shouted back, his voice shaking. “You didn’t save anyone Castiel! You murdered an innocent soul; a father, a husband, a lover! Why did I ever trust **you** with my children?! You killed their father! You murderer!” She slapped him across the face, eyes turning black as she disappears. _

_Suddenly he is at a graveyard, he sees Raven and Blake sobbing at a Grave that says “Fergus McCloud” and all Castiel can do is cry. “Look what you’ve done to Raven!” Blake shouts at Cas, making his eyes go wide. “She’ll never be able to talk again; you killed her one and only father!”_

_“I – I didn’t mean to, Blake. I was just trying –“_

_“LEAVE US ALONE FOREVER!” Blake shouts at the top of his lungs as they disappear and Crowley is now crawling out of his grave. Castiel’s heart is throbbing and he walks backwards, falling onto his back as Crowley throws a punch into his stomach. Castiel throws up blood. “You should be dead!” Crowley smacks him in the face, over and over again. He is bleeding out quickly, as he sobs._

_“You should have died…You are a murderer. You deserve nothing but death!” Crowley hits him one more time until he only sees blackness. He opens his eyes, looking around wondering where he was. Then he realized. He was at his old house, the one he lived at when he was 16 years old. Gabriel was 19, still at home._

_“Gabriel?” Castiel yelled, his voice echoing, when he walked it seemed like everything was turning a deeper shade of blue, almost black. He looks into every room, seeing his old room and somewhat smiling, seeing all the things he used to love._

_He looked in Gabriel’s room and found nothing, and when he walked towards his parent’s room, a bible was in the front of the door. “Mama, you left your bible outside your room…”_

_No one answers and he knocks on the door. “Mama?” His voice is timid, as he opens the door instantly remembering what had happened when he was young. He closes his eyes, and shakes his head, the door shutting and locking behind him._

_“Castiel, look what you did to me?” His mother said looking down at him from the ceiling where she was hanging from by her neck. Her face blue, eyes wide open. “Mama, please, I didn’t mean to!”_

_“Why do you think I killed myself? It’s because of you! And now, you’re a murderer! You should be up here, not me!” She yelled voice hoarse. “Mama, I – I didn’t mean to! I was trying to save someone!”_

_“This is what you get for all your sins. Losing your virginity at such a young age, with a man at that, you should be here for all the sins you have caused and the pain you’ve cause in this family. No one should love you, you rusty, murderer!”_

_Castiel is sobbing, leaning against the door, closing his eyes. When he opens them his father is staring at him, alcohol in one hand, and an empty bottle of drugs in the other. “Castiel, come here and sit with your father.”_

_“No, no, no, please. Don’t punishment for my sins, I know I have sinned.” Castiel yells, sobbing still. “I have no need to punish you. You have already punished yourself, murderer.” His dad says, turning his head to look at Castiel in the same chair he overdosed in._

_Castiel shakes his head. “I’m sorry! I was trying to save her! I’m so sorry!” Castiel yells, opening his eyes up to Dean staring at him. “You murder, Cas.”_

_“I’m sorry! I deserve to be in jail! He didn’t deserve to die, I’m so sorry!”_

_“Cas!”_

_“I should be dead. Please, I’m so sorry!”_

_“Cas,_ Cas,Cas!” Castiel opened his eyes wide, and realized he was shaking, and that his eyes were wet, along with his cheeks and down his chest. Dean is next to him, one hand holding his, the other on his shoulder.

“D-Dean, I’m so sorry!” He sits up quickly, sobbing into Dean’s shoulder, his hands on the higher part of his chest where it isn’t swollen. Dean pats Cas’s back and kisses the top of his head. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Dean asks only for Castiel to shake his head sobbing into him more.

“Baby, you’re scaring me, what is wrong?” Dean asks again, trying to get his husband to look at him. Castiel knew he was stressing Dean out but he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to cry. He refused to talk about it, but he had to cry.

“I’m so sorry Dean, I’m sorry…” He sobs more into his shoulder. “Hey, hey, baby its okay…Ssssh, it’s okay.” Dean tries to calm, rubbing his lover’s back softly. “It’s my entire fault…It’s my entire fault…” Castiel shakes his head as he cries in front of his husband. Dean kisses his head again softly, putting on hand on his stomach and the other rubbing through Cas’s hair.

He tilts Cas’s head up so that his red, puffy eyes were looking at his shining green eyes. Castiel was happy he wasn’t crying, he wouldn’t have been able to take that. “Castiel, I’m always here for you…if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you.”

“You can’t do anything about it! It’s my fault! I shouldn’t – I don’t deserve…” Cas couldn’t finish his sentence before putting his face back into Dean’s shoulder. Dean frowned and pushed Castiel’s head up so he could kiss his forehead. “Baby, please at least tell me tomorrow, okay? When you’ve calmed down?” Dean asks, as Castiel nods, biting his bottom lip.

Dean kisses his husband on lips and lies down on his side. Castiel lies down so that he is cuddling into Dean with tears stuck to his eyelids. _‘I’m sorry Meg, I’m sorry Raven, I’m sorry Blake, I’m sorry Crowley, I’m sorry Mama, I’m sorry Dad, I’m sorry Gabriel, I’m sorry Dean…’_ He repeats over and over again in his head until he is finally asleep.


	19. You Are My Batman, Baby

It was late one night. “Daddy, tell me a story.” Riley demanded as Dean tucked him in.

“One story, Carrot. What do you wanna hear about?” Dean sat down on the bed propping himself against the wall and placing a hand on his swell.

“I wanna hear a story about Papa.” Riley smiled.

“Papa?” Dean gave a slight over exaggerated expression.

“Yeah! Cause he’s a superhero!”

“Alright, buddy, so there’s lots of things you don’t know about Papa.” Dean smiled thinking about what to say. “For one Papa talks with Santa so, stay on Papa’s good side.”

Riley giggled and crawled over to snuggle at Dean’s side. He rubbed Dean’s stomach and waited in certain sport for one of the boys to kick his palm. “Keep going.” Riley whispered pressing his face on Dean side.

“Papa is always the first one awake and gets all of us up and ready for the day. He flies to the rescue when we need help on anything and puts y’all before himself.”

“That doesn’t sound very superhero-y.”

“Well, Ri, there are superheroes who don’t have super powers, like Batman or Robin. Papa is also a doctor so he kicks germs butt.” Dean poked Riley’s tummy making him squirm and giggle. “Also, Papa is super smart, and strong. He’s also very loving. Ok, squirt, tell me three thing you love about Papa.”

“I love that he is a superhero. I love the way he tucks me in almost every night and I love that he let me watch my favorite shows on his TV in your room.”

“I can tell you three things Papa loves about you.” Dean smiled sliding off the bed and grabbing his back to stand up completely. “He loves being your Papa, tucking you in at night, and most importantly he loves you.”

Riley smiled and then frowned. “Daddy, is Papa still broken?”

“He’s healing, Ri. He was just hit with some kryptonite. He will be fine soon.”

Riley nodded. “Ok, Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Night, buddy, I love you.” Dean leaned down at kissed Riley’s forehead.

“I love you, Daddy.” Dean waddled out and shut the door to find Cas propped against the wall shaking his head.

“What’s wrong, Cas?” Dean walked over to his husband.

“I’m no superhero, Dean.” He whimpered. “I’m a murderer.”

“No, baby, you’re not a murderer.” Dean went to touch Cas but he pulled away.

“I killed Crowley without even thinking. I just went. I stabbed him. I murdered him.” Cas panicked.

“Come here, come here, Cas.” Dean touched the sides of Cas’s face and they touched forehead together. “Breathe, baby, take a deep breath.”

They stared into each other’s eyes and Dean smiled lightly. He wiped away the tears from Cas’s eyes knowing if he saw tears in Cas’s eyes he would start to cry. “Dean, I killed Crowley with my own bare hands.”

Dean walked Cas into their bedroom and shut the door. He pulled Cas in that their foreheads were touching again. He felt Cas place his hand on Dean’s swell and the other on Dean’s chest. He cupped Cas’s jaw again. “Baby, Crowley sexually abused Meg. He raped her multiple times. The test at the hospital proved that. Crowley sexually harassed and raped Blake almost every night of 3 or 4 years. He physically abused Raven and Blake the most. He was a monster. He attacked you. You acted in self-defense and did everything right. You protected Meg.”

“I’m not a superhero, tough, Dean.” Cas mumbled.

Dean smirked. “You are The Sweet Peas, and Carrot’s superhero. They look up to you and are influenced by you. Fuck, Superman, Spiderman, and Iron Man…Hell…even fuck Batman, you are my favorite superhero, baby. God knows where I would be if it wasn’t for you.”

“I beat out Batman.” Cas smiled.

“You are my Batman, baby.” Dean smiled. “Now, I don’t wanna hear you crap on yourself about Crowley. You did everything right. Meg is safe, you are healing and Crowley is where he belongs….in Hell.”

“I love you, I hope you know that.” Cas rubbed circles on Dean’s belly.

“I know that even when we are fighting.” Dean smiled. “I love you too.”

_*** &^%$#%^&*(&^%$#@$%^&*()** _

It was that very next morning when the shit hit the fan. Cas and Dean both slept in until they were awoken by a phone call. They both snorted awake. Cas grabbed the phone. “Hello?” Cas rasped looking at the clock. It was just barely 10.

“Speaking.” Cas sat up. Dean watched him. He saw Cas’s eyes grow big and whipped over to connect with Dean’s eyes. “What? What happened?”

“What’s going on?” Dean spoke.

“Is she ok?” Cas began to get out of bed. “What do you mean you won’t know until she wakes up?”

“Cas, what’s going on?” He sat up, scared about how Cas’s was acting.

“Does this sound like a person I know? I didn’t know she left the house.” Cas pulled on some jeans. “I’ll be there in half an hour. Thank you.”

“Cas, please, tell me what going on before I burst into tears.” Dean blurted out.

“Ethan is in the Emergency unconscious. She was in a pretty bad fist fight and she lost. The other person in the fight carried her to the ER. Ethan was barely conscious. She has a broken wrist, collarbone, nose, a black eye, busted lip, stitches on his forehead, and probable concussion.”

“I’m coming with you.” Dean start to get out of bed.

“No, you stay here and keep the kids calm. I need you calm as well and not panicking in the hospital. I’ll keep you updated as soon as I know anything. I will be back soon.” Cas rushed to get his clothes on.

“Hey…” Dean spoke quietly. Cas stared up at him. “Go be the superhero, Papa.”

“Keep calm, I’ll handle Ethan. I stay content until she gets home.” Cas nodded. “She’s going to be fine.”

“Hey…”

“What?” Cas huffed out.

“If you wanna get to the hospital you need to put on a shirt.” Dean pointed at Cas’s bare chest.

“Oh yeah, thanks.” Cas smirked and walked out.

_*** &^%$#%^&*(&^%$#@$%^&*(** _

Dean tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. He got out of bed and walked into the nursery. Lyric and Ryan were both awake and playing with toys in their cribs. “Hey Green Beans. Wanna go eat breakfast?”

“Dada!” They both squealed.

He changed both their diapers and moved them into the kitchen. He fed them and set them in their play pins and walked up the stairs and into Riley’s room. He wasn’t in there. He peeked into Dot’s room and she was still asleep. He cracked open the door to Haley and there were quiet whispers. Riley was watching Haley play videos. He stepped inside. “Morning, early risers.”

“Hey, Daddy, Dot wasn’t feeling well so we let her sleep. You are healing and Daddy is pregnant so we let y’all sleep.” Haley smiled.

“Do y’all know about Ethan?”

Haley looked at Riley, they were both confused. “I thought she was still asleep.”

“She snuck out and got hurt.” Dean walked over to them.

“What are you talking about?”

“Ethan is in the hospital.” Dean sat in the chair by the desk.

“She is going to be ok?” Haley asked.

“Papa will let me know when he gets there.” Dean nodded. “I’m going to go check on Dot, y’al don’t get too anxious, she’s gonna be ok.”

“Are you sure?” Riley asked.

“I’m positive.” Dean stood. “Have fun playing whatever game you’re playing…”

“GTA, Daddy.” Haley replied innocently. He stepped out of the room and walked over to Dot and she was up and reading a book so he didn’t bother her. He sat back down on the couch and watching TV, waiting for a call from Cas. It didn’t come until hours later. That worried him.

When the phone rang at 2 in the afternoon , he was panicked. “Cas?”

He barely understood what Cas was saying other than emergency surgery and allergic reaction. He panicked even more but calmed down when he heard Cas say something like “She’s ok now, and is resting, still unconscious but ok.”

“Thank God.” Dean breathed. “When she wakes tell her I love her.” He hung and slumped on the couch and relaxed listening to Lyric and Ryan babble. “She’s ok, that’s all that matter, right now.”

_******* _


	20. Caring

 

“Baby, I’m so sorry I didn’t call you, I wasn’t thinking straight.” Castiel said into the phone, leaning against the wall of Ethan’s room. Dean mumbled a few things but Cas was too deep in his train of thought. “Ethan had to go into emergency surgery and – and apparently she is allergic to penicillin. I should have known this Dean. I should have tested all our children, I’m a doctor. I should have known this. But, I called now because she’s okay now, and is resting, still unconscious, but okay…”

“Thank God.” Cas heard from Dean, making Cas smile lightly, his hands rubbing his forehead. “When she tell her that I love her.” Before Castiel could reply Dean hung up. Sitting in the chair, Cas put his hand in his daughter’s. He looked at her, and smiled slightly. His vision was a bit blurry, but he was trying his hardest not to cry.

Ethan’s eyes were closed but he knew that under them were the beautiful emerald green eyes, just like Dean’s. She was so much like him, and it worried him. She’s almost in 4th grade and already getting in fights and leaving the house. Cas gives her hand a tiny squeeze, wanting her to wake up.

She was so peaceful as she slept. Her stomach moving up and down and – _oh god,_ Castiel thinks to himself, biting his bottom lip, looking at the ceiling. Her beautiful little face was messed up, and overwhelming amount of angry shook through his body. He wanted to kill whoever did this to her. Suddenly, Castiel shakes his head at this statement thinking, ‘ _Castiel, what the hell are thinking? You really are a murderer, aren’t you?’_

He tries to push that feeling out of his mind. Standing up, he gets Ethan’s hair out of her face and softly rubs his hand over her edge of her black eye. Her lip was split and stitched up forehead, Castiel couldn’t help but look it. This was all making him feel sick, he didn’t know what to do. He sat back down in the chair, holding her hand once again. His eyes close as he waits for his daughter to come back to him.

 @$%^&^*(&)_

“Papa?” Castiel hears weakly, and opens his eyes wide-open as if he had never fallen asleep. “Oh my God, Ethan baby!” Castiel says loudly, standing up to see her. Ethan looks up at her father, obviously not noticing the pain because of the pain killers give to her and instantly holding her good arm out wanting her Papa to be with her. Castiel nods and gets onto the bed. Her head is resting on his shoulder, tears flowing down his shirt.

“It’s all okay Ethan, Papa’s here. You’re all okay, I’m here.” He says rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head. “It’s not okay Papa, it’s not…” She tears up looking up at him. It broke his heart seeing her beautiful face, broken and bruised. “Ssssh baby girl, I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.” He whispers, kissing the top of her head again.

She shook her head. “It’s not!” Ethan yells, out bursting out of nowhere. Castiel was taken back for a second. “Ethan, please calm down…”

“No, cause nothing is okay Papa! Nothing!” She yells, breaking Castiel heart. “Ethan, please, I’m here for you…”

“No you’re not here for me Papa!” She shouted, pushing her father back with her unbroken arm. “You never are anymore…” She more says to herself than to Cas. “Ethan, I’m always here for you…Why are you saying otherwise?” Castiel looked at the ceiling not letting himself cry; not in front of his child.

Ethan glared at him, “All you care about now is the twins, and Riley! You even care about Dot and Hayley, but you don’t care about me! You just get mad at me! I’m always the one to get in trouble, no one else does! That’s why I ran away and— “

She looks at her father whose eyes are teary, although he hoped she wouldn’t notice. “Ethan, you’re not the only that gets in trouble, I promise you that. Now come here and be with your papa, please.” He says calmly, and he knew in Ethan’s eyes that she was feeling bad for running away. She gets teary again, and slowly lays down so that her Father’s arm was around her and she was cuddled into his chest. Cas knew that she wouldn't be acting like this if she wasn't on pain medication or had a concussion.

“I’m sorry Papa, I just want someone to care about me…” Ethan cried. Cas rubbed his fingers through her long hair and kissed her forehead. “We all care about you Ethan. Me, Daddy, Dot, Hayley, Riley – shoot, even Ryan and Lyric love you.”

“How do you know that?” Ethan asked, looking up at her father. “Because even one year olds have emotions and feelings too; when you play with them they want to play with you. Ryan’s even calling you “Ef-n” now.”

Ethan smiles lightly and looks back down, cuddling closer to her father as best as she could with her wrist in a cast and arm in a sling. “I know how you feel Ethan, I really do…” Castiel says rubbing her back now. “How? You don’t have any siblings.”

“Well, none that you have met, no. Believe it or not Sweet Pea, but I have 3 siblings.” Castiel lightly smiles, although he hadn’t even told Dean this information. He hates talking about it. “I don’t believe you, that can’t be true.” Ethan says, not looking at him.

“It is true Ethan. You have an Uncle Gabriel, an Uncle Michael, and an Uncle Luci.” Castiel smirks. Dean knew about Gabriel, because frankly that was the only one that still cared. But that was not part of the story for now.

“Really?” Ethan asks. Cas smirks and nods. “Yes, it is all true. Michael and Luci are twins, four years older than me and Gabriel is 3 years older than me.” Castiel looked down at his daughter who was listening to him.

“Anyway, when I was a little older than you, I as well didn’t think anyone cared about me.” He says, thinking to himself that it technically was true. He wasn’t going to tell that part though. “Instead of running away, I got just held it in. I never told anyone how I felt and well, I’m just really happy you told me.” Cas said, eyes getting teary again.

Ethan looked at her Papa. “You’re not mad I ran away?”

“No, I’m not mad…I’m disappointed, but not mad. I just want you to know that we all love you dearly, and baby girl, I want you to tell me or Daddy when you’re feeling like this, okay?” Castiel spoke. Ethan nodded.

“I won’t do it ever again Papa, I promise.” She cuddles her father more now. “I love you Ethan, and I mean it. So does your Daddy. He called me telling me to tell you that he loves you. Everyone at home is so worried, and they want you home. They all love you.”

“I love you too Papa, and I’m sorry…” Ethan laid her head on his chest. “It’s all okay Sweet Pea, now close your eyes and get some rest. You look very tired.” Cas sighed, stroking her hair. She closed her eyes slowly, nodding. “Papa, can I ask you one more thing?”

“Yes, you may.” Castiel said. “Will we ever get to meet your family?” She asks so frivolously. Castiel frowns, knowing his daughter can’t see him. “Go to sleep baby girl…” Cas says not answering her question, “Go to sleep…”


	21. You Are My Daughter...

After getting Sam Ruby to babysitting the kids and get Sam to drive him to the hospital he ended up walking to the front desk of the Children’s Hospital Cas worked at. He walked over to the smiled nurse sitting at the reception area wearing bright pink scrubs. “Hi, I’m looking for Ethan Winchester’s room. I’m her father.”

“Your name is…”

“Dean, my husband should be here already, Castiel.” Dean pressed his hand into his back.

“Yep, yep, she up the upstairs in room 506C. Take the elevator to level 5 and take a left and it should be the three door on your right.” She smiled.

“Thank you.” He nodded making his way to the elevator, not even thinking about stairs. Fuck stairs. Fuck gravity. Fuck the girl who beat the shit out of his first born baby girl. Fuck Dean Winchester-Novak, the asshole who let his daughter run away. He frowned and held back tear. He couldn’t even imagine the image he was about to see. Cas knew he was coming to see her and stay until she was ready to leave. He stepped into the elevator and a woman was already in there. She was heavily pregnant as well.

“Hello.” She smiled.

“Hey, how are you?” He made small talk. She nodded and looked at Dean swell.

“This your first kid?”

“Oh no, not even close.” Dean shook his head. “You?”

She smirked. “No, she is my second. My first decided to jump out of a tree this morning.”

“Kids will be kids.” Dean replied as the door opened at his level. “Nice talking with you.” He took the right and looked for her room number. He peeked into the room first and saw Cas exiting the bathroom and Ethan passed out on the bed with her arms in a sling and hand in a cast. Her once beautiful face was bruised and swollen. He couldn’t get his feet to move into the room. “Cas…”

He whipped around and spotted Dean standing in the doorway. He walked over to Dean and they stepped outside. Cas crossed his arms over his chest. He looked tired. “Hey…” He tried to smile.

“You look tired. Did you sleep any last night?” Dean first asked.

“Not really. Ethan woke up and wasn’t feeling the pain cause she still had constant pain killers running through her system, but a few hours after she fell asleep she woke up in horrible pain. She spent most of the night in pain, and none of the medication was working. They finally gave her morphine and that knocked her out, but hat was about two hours ago.” Cas explained.

“Well, I’m here to help.” Dean nodded. “How is she?”

“Other than the pain, she does have a broken wrist, collarbone and nose. There the black eye, busted lip, and laceration on her forehead. She does in fact have a concussion. The scariest was when I first got here. She was unconscious and looking to fragile. Minutes after I saw her they moved her to an operating room. She was kicked in the stomach so hard her appendix burst and she had an emergency surgery, and the discovery of her allergy to penicillin.”

“She’s doing ok, now?” Dean had both hands resting on his back.

“She’s gonna be sore from the surgery, and in pain for the broken bones and then there’s the side effects of the concussion.” Cas rambled. “Her vitals are good. There are no more complications. She should be ready to go home soon.”

“Dr. Novak.” Dean responded and Cas stopped talking. “Stop acting like Ethan’s doctor. You are not her doctor, you are here father. She needs Papa, not Dr. Novak.”

“But, she’s hurt and I need to help her…” Cas ran his finger through his hair.

“No, you need to comfort her. She’s wants her Papa to hold her hands. I want you to sit down and try to sleep.” Dean pointed at the couch.

Cas frowned. “You have to sit on the couch, Dean. It has better back support.”

“Sit on the couch, Castiel.” Dean pointed and began to walk Cas over to the seat. “She’s out of the woods. You don’t have to worry.”

Dean sat down in the crappy hospital chair beside Ethan’s bed and took her good hand. He kissed the top of her hand and held back tears.

Two hours pasted before she woke up. Cas was passed out. She began to whimper and her breathing began to quicken. Dean stood and placed his hand on her chest and at the top of her head. “Shh, shhh, shh, Ethan, it’s Daddy. It’s ok, you’re ok.”

“It hurts, it hurts, Daddy.” She panted.

“Breathe, hon. Slow deep breathes will help the pain.” Dean combed his fingers through her hair. “You’re hyperventilating, sweetie, calm down.”

“I can’t, Daddy. It hurts so bad.” Ethan cried. Tears fell down both side of her face and into her hair. “I can’t…Daddy.”

Dean took her hand again and leaned down so their faces were close. “Ethan, baby, close your eyes and take a deep breath with Daddy.” She shook her head. “Come on, Bunny.” She closed her eyes and they both took and deep and released. “Again.”

They repeated that until she was breathing normally again. By that time a nurse had come in and waited until their moment was over. “Hello, Miss Ethan, I can to try a better medication for you. It’s less effective than morphine, but should keep you conscious.”

“Here, that, Eth, she’s gonna make your pain go away.” Dean smiled. Ethan nodded, but Dean noticed she still had tears leaking from her eyes. Her lip was quivering, obviously she was holding back a sob. “Ethan, what’s wrong? Tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Ethan choked out covering her mouth with his good arms. Big tears fell from her eyes. She choked out a few sobs then removed her hand. “I’m sorry I tried to run away.”

“Oh, honey…” Dean held back his tears. Ethan sat up painfully.

“I’m sorry, I got hurt. I deserve whatever punishment you give me.” Ethan sobbed. “Please, don’t hate me.”

Dean cupped Ethan’s jawline, not wanting to pulled her into his arms possibly hurting her more. “Enough of that, Ethan, I love you, that will never change. Papa told me last night why you tried to run away, and I’ll tell you that there isn’t anything past or present that I would put in front of you. You are my daughter. I may be mad about the situation, but I will never hate you. I aint mad at you, but I am disappointed. I want you better as soon as possible and all this moving around isn’t doing you any favors.”

Ethan let the nurse put the medication in her IV and 15 minutes later she was peacefully sleeping in bed. Cas woke up three hours later. Dean was walking about of the bathroom for his 3rd time in 2 hours. He smiled. “You look better.”

Cas blinked and wiped a hand down his face and glanced over to Ethan. “How is she?”

“Hyperventilated a little when she first woke up and then had a mini meltdown, but I got her nice and calm and they gave her a more diluted pain killer. She drifted off a few hours ago.”

“What have you been doing in that time period where we both were asleep?” Cas sat up.

“I came prepared. I brought my book, and watched a little TV, called Sam to check on the kids.” Dean sat on the couch and huffed out a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry you had to sit uncomfortably in that chair while I was sleeping.”

“Don’t say that, I forced you on the couch. I stood for a while when Ethan was awake. I’m used to uncomfortable chairs, I work at a school.” Dean smiled and then frowned. He looked down at his swell. “She thought I would hate her.”

“Ethan?” Cas asked. “She thought the same for me.”

“How did we fuck up with her?” Dean took Cas’s hand and laced his fingers with Cas’s.

“We didn’t fuck up with her. She’s just like you, and I mean just like you. We just have to listen to her a little more.” Cas shrugged.

“But how did we get her to try to run away?” Dean rubbed his abdomen.

“WE got caught up with Blake and Raven, then our fight, then the Crowley thing. Ethan must have thought we weren’t paying any attention to her and what attention we did give her was yelling at her.” Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I know how that feels.”

“You and me both.” Dean nodded staring at his oldest daughter. “God, Cas, I’m so glad I met you.”

“I know you are, but can I ask why right now?”

“When people find out about my past they pity me and feel sorry for me, but with you…you understand. I don’t know what happened to your past more than your parents passed away, but I do know it’s not a happy place.”

“You’re right.” Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder.

“I’ll be willing to share my childhood with you more, if you’re willing to do the same. We’re married we need to know everything about each other. I _wanna_ know everything about you, and I want you to know everything about me.”

“I’m willing, but not with our daughter in the hospital.”

“Whenever you’re ready, my angel.” Dean laid his head on Cas’s head. “Whenever you are ready.”

_******* _


	22. Uncomfortable

 Castiel sat in the uncomfortable chair, letting Dean lie down and sleep on the couch. He had lied straight to Dean’s face, and didn’t even shake, and stutter. He wasn’t willing to talk about his past; he wanted to push it as far back in his brain as possible.

Just talking about it with Ethan was hard enough for him, but to his lover? He frankly didn’t even know if the words would come out of his mouth talking to Dean. Cas was too afraid. It seemed like everyone he loved in the past left him or kicked him out. For goodness sakes, two out of his three brothers didn’t even want to look at Cas. They didn’t even want to know about his life. The two of them acted as if he wasn’t alive and that he never was.

After he met Dean, he let all that go away. He got used to it, even told Dean things that weren’t true about his family. His husband didn’t know about Michael or Luci. He didn’t even really know about Gabriel other than that he and Gabriel were related. Dean didn’t even know they were brothers.

Yes Dean knew his parents were dead, but he didn’t tell Dean how. How was he supposed to tell Dean that he was the reason they both killed themselves. That he basically _murdered_ his _own_ parents. That he didn’t grow up in public schools until _after_ his parents died. He went to private Christian schools that always told him that he was born _wrong._ Michael, Luci, and Gabriel were born _right_. They were not able to have kids like Cas.  

Castiel’s mother and father never told him he could even have kids. Castiel found by another kid, not even on his own. He was furious at his parents for not telling him. He felt like his life was a lie. He had always known he was _different_ from all the other boys in his classes, but he never thought he was that different.

His parents treated him as if he was supposed to like girls. He was taught that liking males were a sin and that males that could have babies were born of nothing but sin. He was taught to be against himself, and it hurt him.

So, he decided that if Dean ever wanted to know again that he would change the subject. He didn’t want to lose another person. He didn’t want to hurt another person. That’s the whole reason he became a doctor; he wanted to help everyone and he loved kids.

Castiel _never_ again wanted to talk about his family. Not about his mother, his father, his brothers, his cousins, or frankly even his past relationships. It just wasn’t happening and – “Cas?”

Castiel looked up, realizing Dean was in front of him snapping his finger in front of his face. “Cas, baby? Anyone home?” Dean smiled, shaking his shoulder. He shook himself out of his own thoughts. “Yeah, hi.” Castiel said looking around, seeing that Ethan was awake. Her IV was out and she was sitting up, closing her hands. Her cheeks had streaks of dried tears on them. This broke Cas’s heart.

“You okay? You were out of it there for a bit.” Dean said. Castiel blinked and got up, putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Uh, yeah. I’m fine.” Cas says, biting the inside of his cheeks. Maybe he had thought about it a little too much?

Dean holds his puts his hand on his stomach and turns around as Castiel is walking towards Ethan. “Okay...Well, Ethan is getting discharged. We can take her home now.” Dean says, walking to his daughters side. “Ethan do you think you can walk? The medicine they have you on is pretty strong.” Castiel asks her, hand on her good arm. She just moans, with her eyes closed. Cas sighs. “It’s okay Sweet Pea, Papa’s gonna carry you to the car.” Castiel says, getting stopped by Dean. “Cas, no. You’re not supposed to be carrying anything until your rib is 100% healed.”

Dean glares it him as he picks Ethan up with a groan, so that her head is resting on his shoulder and the rest of her body cuddled into his chest, her legs hanging from his arms. “Castiel please, just wait for a nurse, I don’t want you actually breaking your rib.”

Castiel looks at Dean, his voice hoarse as he carries his daughter carefully. “I’ll be fine, let’s go.” Dean glared at him. Cas knew he was stubborn – what doctor wasn’t when it came down to their own health.

Castiel walked down to the elevator. Maybe his chest was hurting a little bit, but it wasn’t too bad. Dean couldn’t hold her, and Cas didn’t want to wait for a nurse. Castiel walked all the way into the car, getting in the back with Ethan, letting her rest her head in his lap while he stroked her hair. As soon as they got home Cas carried her inside, and laid her down in her bed. She groaned, so Castiel stayed in there with her.

When she finally fell asleep, he got out of the room, finding Dean on the couch. Everything in the house was quiet for once. They would pick up all the other kids tomorrow. Castiel smiles and picks Dean’s legs up and sits down, putting his legs on his lap.

“Baby?” Dean looked up at him, with puppy eyes. Castiel smirked and looked over at him. “Yes Dean?”

Dean smiles back. “Can you massage my feet?” He lifts his feet up, to show Castiel. Cas smiles and starts to massage his feet. “You love foot massages more than you love pie.”

“That’s not true.” Dean says while Cas looks at him like saying “oh really?”

“I love pie and foot massages equally.” He argues. Castiel rolls his eyes as he turns on the TV, continuing to massage his husband’s feet. “Cas, I’m really interested in knowing about your family now. Wanna tell me any—“

“Maybe later, baby.” Cas stops him in midsentence. His body went tense. “Maybe later.”


	23. You Were Silent

The next day was tiring. Cas was silently holding in groans and grimaces to hide the fact that he was right about carrying Ethan out of the hospital. Ethan was doing everything in her power to not show her pain when the pain medication wares off. The kids were doing everything to get on Dean’s last nerve. And Dean was uncomfortable with the boys moving around all day and kicking every organ while their at it and he had to be the one to go and do everything, because Cas was hurt and Ethan was hurt and he had to keep the kids away from her. He had to get Cas away from the kids so they didn’t hang out him. Lyric and Ryan were cranky because they didn’t like being away from Daddy and Papa for so long. Dean just wanted to curl up as best he could on his bed and cry.

Every time him and Dean had a moment to themselves Dean would try to get Cas to open up and talk about his past. It had been hard for Dean to Cas about John and his past. Even just thinking about it made his whole body hurt and gives him the chills and form a panic. But if he could do it maybe Cas could do it, but right now he was proven wrong.

“Hey, babe, Lyric and Ryan are down for their nap, Ethan is down for the count, Haley, Dot and Riley are in Dot’s room playing video games. Can we talk about your childhood, please?” Dean sat down on the couch with his husband.

“Not right now, maybe later.”

“No, now, Cas, I’m not going to be able to get all the kids away long enough.” Dean responded.

Cas shook his head. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Cas, I know it a hard topic, but it’s me you’re talking to. I love you and I would never pity you or judge you.”

Cas shook his head again. “Now’s not a good time.”

“Why?” Dean blurted out. “Right now is the best time. There isn’t going to be a better time.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Cas didn’t look at Dean.

Dean was getting pissed. Cas rather hide his past from Dean then telling the love of his life and feel better. “You’re a fucking asshole, Cas. I’ve held my tongue for some time now. I thought I was bad, but you are a selfish, stubborn asshole. We both want each other to be open with each other. Hell, when you were mad at me about this pregnancy it was about not being open with each other. I’m sick of this, Castiel.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Dean.” Cas shook his head. “I can’t.”

“You don’t think I have a hard time talking about my past? I told you a little bit of my past and I almost broke down. What I told you was only a taste of John Winchester’s fury. At least I told you something. The least you could do is tell me anything about your past. Like your brother or your parents.”

“No, Dean…” Cas touched Dean’s hand.

Dean huffed and angrily shook Cas’s hand away. “You know what, Cas? You’re a selfish hypocrite. You told me to tell you things about me past . You said you wanted to know and that you should know because I’m your husband, but then when I do it to you, you say no. That’s rude.”

“Dean, you have to understand that what happened to me in the pa—“ Cas began.

“NO! CASTIEL! NO!” Dean raised his voice. “I am the last person you wanna get pity from mister! You’re past might have been just as cruel as mine, but I was the balls to share it with my own husband of 10 years. My Dad tied me to a chair in his bedroom and made me watch him fuck my mom. There! That’s one more thing that happened to me in the past I don’t like talking about. You can take that “you have to understand…” Bullshit and shove it up your lily white ass.” Dean stood from his seat on the couch. “You’re not the man I married nor the man I met in that doorway. The Castiel I know would never be this selfish, rude, hypocritical, stubborn, son a bitch.”

“You don’t mean that, Dean.” Cas couldn’t believe the things coming out of Dean’s mouth.

Dean shook his head. “Look into my eyes. Do I think like I don’t mean it?” Cas was quiet. “Do whatever the fuck you want, Cas. I’m done. I gave you a window and you were silent. Go fuck yourself cause I can’t even look at you.”

“Dean?”

“Don’t talk to me. It’s too late.” Dean walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

“Dean, open the door. Baby, open the door.” Cas called out.

Tears streamed down Dean’s face as he pulled out his phone. He dialed a number he swore to himself he never needed anymore. “Hey…umm…Hey, Lisa, it’s Dean. I know it been a while, but you said to call whenever I need to just talk. Well, um, I’m in desperate need of someone to talk to right now.”

He talked for two hours, before he hung up and just curled up in bed in silence. Cas didn’t know about Lisa. Dean hoped Cas would never know about Lisa. It was another touchy subject there. They had a thing for three years, and well it’s a well known fact that a victim of abuse would have PTSD towards something. Lisa was not only a girlfriend to Dean but a therapist. Talked him off the ledge many times, but when they broke it was hard. Dean went down hill. He didn’t want Cas to know the things Dean did.

Dean was hiding things, but was willing to share them with his love. Cas was hiding things, but unwilling to share them with his love.

This time Dean couldn’t just gloss over it.

_******* _


	24. Gabriel

 

Castiel stood by the door of his and Dean’s room. “Please...Dean…” He yells, knocking on the door again and again. He finally gives up, leaning his back against the door, falling to his knees. He leans his head back against the door, rubbing his head and closing his eyes.

‘ _You really fucked up this time Castiel…He’s gonna leave you if you tell him or if you don’t. You’re just not even worth…’_ Castiel thinks to himself. He gets up and walks to the couch, grabbing his phone, and jacket, before he sees three sets of eyes looking over at him.

“Riley, Dot, Hayley?” Castiel says, looking closers at his children. He drops his jacket on the ground and walks over to them. Riley’s had tears rolling down his face while Hayley and Dot were around him. “What’s wrong Riley?” He asks, getting to his level, looking up at his other daughters who are frowning.

Riley shakes his head. “You guys were yelling.” He rubs his eyes. “It scared me.” Riley started crying again. “Come here Carrot, its okay…” Castiel spoke softly, trying to hide his emotions. Riley shook his head, making Cas’s heart melt into acid. “You’re gonna yell again, and – and it scares me!” He says crying harder. “I’m not gonna yell at you Riley, that’s over, I’m here…it’s okay.” Cas put his hand on Riley’s shoulder and he hides his face into Hayley’s legs.

Castiel frowns, not being able to hide it. Dot is now sitting on the bed, looking at her father with wide eyes. “I’m sorry me and Daddy were yelling guys, but everything is okay…” Castiel says when everything went to silence.

“No it’s not…Daddy was cussing at you. What did you do Papa?” Hayley asks, looking at him. Cas stands up, and looks down at the third sweet pea. “I messed up Hayley, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

“Superheroes don’t mess up, they only do good!” Riley yells, running over to Dot. He cries again, and as if Cas’s heart couldn’t have broke more, it did. Castiel had nothing else to say, he felt it’d only break his heart and make Riley cry even more. ‘ _You royally fucked up now. Even your own fucking kids hate you.’_ Cas thinks, picking up his jacket and going out the front door, slamming it shut.

He walks quickly, into his car, and drives it all the way down the street, close to the forest where no one could see him. His head falls onto the steering wheel as he bawled to himself. He combed his fingers through his hair and pulls at it as if it was his only stress relief. His old depressions and anxieties were coming back from when he was younger and the old bad thoughts were coming back to life. He shook his head, got out his phone.

The background of his phone was a photo of Dean kissing him on the cheek with Ryan in his arms and Lyric in Cas’s. This was taken over a year ago when the twins were born. He smiles lightly; wiping the tears off his cheeks and unlocks his phone. The other background is of the Sweet Peas, all in a circle around Dean as he tells them a story with Riley in his lap.

Another tear falls from Cas’s face and he wipes it away quickly. He looks through his contacts, and sees his brother’s name and clicks on it. Gabriel doesn’t have an icon on his phone, Cas frowns at this. Even the brother that likes him, he isn’t that close with.

He clicks call, and waits as it rings. “Hello?”

“Hey, Gabe.” Castiel says, voice rough in almost a whisper. “Who is this?” Gabriel asks. Castiel looks down and frowns. “It’s – It’s Cas. You don’t have my number saved?”

“Oh – Hey little Bro. Sorry, I did have your number saved, but I’m gonna have to assume Kali deleted it off my phone…” Cas hears a sigh from his brother. “Anyway, why are you calling? You caught me at good time, Kali isn’t home.”

“I’m calling because I fucked up badly Gabriel.” Castiel frowns, playing with the fabric of his jacket. “Dean and the kids hate me…”

The phone is silent. “Cassie, no one hates you…”

“Gabriel, that’s a damn lie and you and me both know it.” Castiel shouts into the phone, anger spilling out. “Cas, maybe some people hated you, but that was the past –“

“The past is the reason I’m so fucked up, Gabriel!” Cas yells. “Hey, Hey, calm down Cassie. The pasts over, what’s going on?”

Castiel wants to throw his phone. He wants to toss it out the window and the let the broken glass fall on him and stab through his skin. But, that’s not what he does. “I couldn’t tell Dean about my past even though he could tell me everything and,” his voice cracks has he hiccups in tears, “and now he hates me. I’m gonna lose him Gabriel! I’m gonna lose him like I’ve lost everyone else!” Castiel sobs, screaming into the phone.

“Cas, you got to calm down, it’s gonna be okay. Where are you? This would be a lot better if I was by your side.” Gabriel says, smoothly to Cas. Castiel shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter where I am…I don’t want to be anywhere. I just want to be alone.”

“Castiel, the last time you said that you were 18 and I found you in the kitchen having a panic attack with a knife in your hand pressed against your skin, already bleeding half-to-deaf! Now tell me where the hell you are, before I call 9-1-1. I ain’t going through that shit again and neither are you!” Gabriel yelled. Sometimes Castiel just needed to get yelled at by his older brother. Gabriel was strict when he wanted to be, and the only time he wanted to be or frankly _had_ to be was with Castiel.

“I’m at the end of the block in my neighborhood…” Cas whispers, wiping his eyes. “But Gabriel, I’ll be okay, I swear—“

“No, because you know how many damn times I’ve heard that from you Cas and how many of those times you ended up not being okay?” Gabe says. Cas sighs. Gabriel knew him like the back of his hand. He wanted Dean to know him like that…

Castiel had to tell Dean about it. “Gabriel…”

“Yes Cassie?” Gabe says. “I’m gonna fix Gabriel, I’m gonna tell him some of my past. You don’t have to come…I swear to God I’ll be okay.”

Gabriel knew that if Castiel swore to God, that he meant it. “Okay Cassie…Please call tonight or text me if I don’t answer…Kali will probably be home.”

Cas frowned. Not even Gabriel wife liked him. “Okay, bye Gabe.” Castiel hung up and drove back to the house, fixing his face in the car mirrors, before going back inside. He got everyone to bed, and grabbed a blanket for himself for the couch. Closing his eyes he starts thinking of at least some good in his past he could start with. Oh, was this going to be hard…


	25. Emotional Vulnerability

Everything was going smooth at first. He got Ryan and Lyric ready to the day and got thm fed and in their playpen in their room so Cas could sleep. He walked into Riley’s room and saw he was playing with toys. He stepped inside and crouched down beside Riley. “Good morning, Carrot.”

“Morning, Daddy.” Riley shyly spoke. Dean knew he heard the fight and was probably frightened.

“Hey, bub, I’m sorry you had to hear me and Papa fighting last night.” Dean rubbed Riley’s back.

“You lied, Daddy.” Riley looked up at his father. “You said Papa was a superhero, and superheroes don’t mess up.”

“Oh no, squirt. Superheroes sometimes don’t make the best decisions. Papa thought he was doing the right thing, but turns out he wasn’t. Just because Papa made a mistake doesn’t mean he's not a superhero.”

“I don’t like it when you and Papa fight.” Riley mumbled.

“Neither do I thought, Carrot.” Dean slowly rose to his feet and peeked into Ethan’s room. She was passed out and so were the other Sweet peas. He picked up the twins and walked into the living room and set up in their second playpen. He sat down in his recliner and read a book.

He kept an eye on both the twins and Cas. He heard movement up stairs and knew one or more of the Sweet peas were up and if Ethan needed anything she would get Dot or Hayley to get it. After about two hours he saw Cas start to stir. He watched his husband sit up and look around. Dean had his nose in the book.

“Dean?” He heard softly. He peeked out of his book at Cas.

He was teary eyed. “Yes, Cas.”

“I’m so sorry.” Cas choked.

“Hey, you actually realized what you did wrong.” Dean lowered his book.

Cas wiped his eyes. “You were right about everything. I am a stubborn asshole, who was only thinking of myself. I was being completely hypocritical. I’m so sorry.” Dean was silent. He stared at Cas with a blank expression. He wasn’t going to accept the apology until Cas actually did something. Cas took a deep breath. “I have three brother, one of which is the only one who doesn’t hate me. Even with that, his wife doesn’t like him speaking with me. Back when we were young my parents fought al the time. I’d always go to my brother Gabriel and talk. Being sibling we had our fights, but it seemed like we always made up no matter.”

“Sounds like this Gabriel is a nice guy.” Dean replied.

“Dean, You have to understand that when I was younger I had been in bad places. I mean like hospitals, panic attacks…suicide attempts. I was in a bad place until I went to college and became a doctor and met you.”

Dean blinked. “You don’t think I have been through those same things. I know it’s hard for you to talk about your past, but it’s hard for me too. Being completely honest, Cas, before you I never share anything about myself to my partners. If we go anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability, I’d back off. Or make some joke. Or find any way to shut the door on them.” Dean looked away from Cas. “I know exactly what you felt back then. I know how it feels to feel so worthless, and inferior to anyone around you. The feelings that everyone looks down on you and thinks you are a complete fuck up. I remember waking up every day and being disappointed that I opened my eyes. I always thought that people would be happy if I just disappeared. No one would care.”

Cas wiped tears from his eyes as he watched Dean’s walls break. “We are both severely fucked up human beings.”

Dean smirked and wiped his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that.” Cas stood from the couch and crouched down on the side of the recliner. He reached over the arm and began to rub Dean’s moderate swell. “I’d call us different, special. We don’t have boring lives.”

“I like that.” Cas smiled then looked at Dean’s abdomen. He rested his cheek on the cushion. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Did John ever beat, Sam?”

“No.” Dean replied without missing a beat. “I always took Sam’s beatings. John was never gonna corrupt Sammy, like He had done to me. He tried to be a father to me after he came back from prison, even showing up to my work when I was pregnant with the Sweet Peas.”

“Are you ever going to forgive him?”

“No…” Dean grew stiff. He climbed out of his recliner and rose to his feet. “Never.”

“But he is your _father_.”

Dean’s head shot over to Cas. “Don’t say that.”

“But…Dean…” Cas was taken back.

“John is not my father. He is a man who was married to my mother that I tolerated when he came back from prison.” Dean pointed.

“Did John ever beat Mary?”

Dean shook his head. “No, he loved her too much to hurt her.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Did she know about what he did to you?”

“Yep, but John did have her wrapped around his finger.” Dean held his back “She wasn’t going to say anything.”

Cas frowned. “Dean, it doesn’t make sense. John didn’t hurt Mary because he loved her, why did he do it to you?”

“John doesn’t give a shit about me. I was burden that plagued him. He never showed me any compassion. It wasn’t until Sammy was born and Sammy became the golden child that John really started showing his hatred.”

Cas nodded and walked over to his husband and took his hand. “I promise, Dean, that we are going to get through taking about our past together. Let’s not push each other about when exactly we do it, but we are going to share. When we are ready to do so, alright?”

“I don’t wanna wait forever. I know it’s not something you and spit out altogether, cause I sure can’t, but I don’t wanna go months without speaking about it.” Dean was serious.

“By the baby boys first birthday we will know everything even if we are breaking down and crying like baby with snort coming out ours nose. We are going to be there for each other. I promise.” Cas smiled and placed a hand on either side of Dean’s belly. “I love you, I love you more than anything. You have made me a better person and make me forget the horrible times.”

“I love you, too, Cas.” Dean smiled. Their forehead’s touched. They both closed their eyes. “Riley still believes you are a superhero. He understands now that Superheroes aren’t perfect. What makes them superheroes is that they can fix those mistakes.”

“Thank you.” Cas hummed feeling one of the boys kick the palm of his hand.

Dean draped his arms on Cas’s shoulders. “Can you just kiss me already, ya dork?” He opened his eyes and smiled. Cas flicked his eyes opened and he caught Dean’s lips with his own. Everything was gonna be ok.

_******* _


	26. Ducky!

Castiel sat on the floor with Ryan in his lap, playing with Cas’s fingers. Lyric was over with her favorite stuffed duck, trying to walk over to her Papa with it. “Pa-pa!” She said, getting on her hands and knees instead of walking. She didn’t enjoy walking like Ryan did. Lyric crawled all the way over to Cas with her duck, dropping it into his lap. “ducky!” She smirks. “Yes Lyric, that is a duck.”

“Duck-y!” She smiles, and crawls over to the other side of the play pen, getting another stuffed duck. When she crawls back, Ryan gets excited now. “Quack, quack, quack!” He shouts, looking up at Castiel who is chuckling. “Yes, ducks says quack. What does a cow say?”

The duck lands in Cas’s lap and Lyric crawls quickly over to get another one. “MOO!” Ryan smiles, and grabs Cas’s shirt. “Moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo!” He bounces in Cas’s lap. Lyric is back to Cas, grabbing all three of her ducks and dropping them on the floor. “ducky uh-oh!” She says, picking it up and dropping it again.

“Is there a farm in our den or is it just my two youngest?” Castiel hears from behind him. Lyric raises her arms up. “Up!” She yells at Dean. Her dad smiles and picks her up, kissing her cheek. “Da-Da, ducky!” Lyric frowns as she points down at her ducks. “You want your ducky, Green Bean?”

“ducky!” She yells again, pointing. Castiel smiles up at them and grabs the duck with Ryan in his other hand. He stands up and hands it to Lyric. She smiles and rubs it on Dean’s shirt. “Can you say, ‘thank you Papa’?” Dean asks her. She looks over at her Papa, and shakes her head. “no.”

“At least she’s honest.” Cas says. “I don’t think they’re going to bed anytime soon. They’re pretty rowdy tonight.”

“I can tell.” Dean says. “How ‘bout you give me Ryan, and you let Lyric settle down some. Ryan is looking a bit tired.” Cas nods, and switches Ryan for Lyric as Dean walks away with his youngest son.  

He walks to into Ethan’s room to find that everyone is in there, just talking. This was strange. “What are you guys doing?” Cas says, Lyric settling down in his grip. He sits down on the chair next to the bed they were all talking on. Riley speaks up first, “We were wondering if the new babies were girls or boys and if you or Daddy had the names yet?”

Castiel turns Lyric around so that she actually sitting in his lap rather than laying. “Well, your Daddy and I were going to tell you sooner or later, so I guess now is a good time. I won’t tell you the genders yet, because I think Daddy wants to tell you guys that, but I do know that we want all of your opinions on the names.”

Everyone smiles at this, even Ethan who is still hurt, although it had been a week or so seen the incident. “Leaf!” Riley yells out.

“Leaf?” Dotty questions her brother, a confused look on her face. “Yeah, leaf!” Riley says again. Castiel raises his eyebrows. “Riley, do you know anyone named Leaf?”

“No, but I like it.” Riley defends. Castiel sighs. “Anyone else have anything? You have about three to four months to choice.”

“Leaf!” Riley says again. Castiel sighs, again. “Okay Riley, I’ll ask your father about that, but don’t be sad if we don’t name one of them that, okay?” Castiel says, hoping he doesn’t sound annoyed. “Leeeee-f!” Lyric says, and Castiel laughs. “Anyone else have any names?”

Everyone shakes their head, and Cas nods. “Okay, well carry on.”

            He gets up, and walks out of the room going into the nursery where Dean is in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth. Ryan wasn’t sleep yet but was almost there. Dean smiled at Castiel walking in, rocking Lyric back and forth in his arms. She had worn herself out.

            Ryan’s little eyes were trying to stay open, but his little body wouldn’t let him stay up. His eyes closed and Dean put him down, leaving the room, going into their bedroom. After reading Lyric a little story, she finally falls asleep and Castiel is able to go to bed with his husband.

Dean was on the bed, already in his PJ’s which were just a pair of sweatpants. Shirts made Dean feel stuck when he was pregnant. He was reading a book, his reading glasses on that almost make Castiel make-out with him on the spot. Of course that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

Castiel got out off all his clothes until he was just in his boxers, getting into the bed very close to Dean. “Are you reading ‘Flower’s in the Attic’?” Castiel asks, smirking looking over Dean’s shoulder. Dean closes the book quickly and puts it down on his bedside table. “…No.” Castiel chuckles, “I knew you’d read it!”

“Shuddup.” Dean says as Castiel puts his hands on Dean’s big belly. He feels a couple of kicks as soon as he touches. Castiel crawls down and kisses Dean’s bare belly were one of them just kicked. Dean laughed as Cas buzzed onto his stomach. “Stop, that tickles!” Dean smirks. Castiel smirks and does it again, then softly kisses his belly. “These are my babies.” Cas says, smiling at Dean. He crawls back up to him and kisses his cheek. “Our baby boys.”

Dean nods, and rubs his belly. “They are.” Cas smirks, and leans his head on Dean’s shoulder.  “I’m excited. I want to have a little adventure with two little boys. Ryan’s a handoff himself, I can only imagine what two boys will be like.”

Dean turns off his lamp and closes his eyes, “I hope like your side of the family, because you said you weren’t a handful.”

“Yes, _I_ wasn’t a handful, but the rest of my family was. No matter what, they’re going to rowdy. Let’s just hope they don’t act like Luci or Gabriel and then we’ll be fine.” Castiel smiled, letting another part of his past go.

“What were they like?” Dean asks.

“Gabriel apparently was always being a tiny trickster and was wild; probably wilder then you from what I saw in my childhood. Luci was the same way just times ten.” Castiel cuddles into his husband. “Let’s just hope for a Sammy or a you.” Dean mumbles, half awake. Cas nods, “Mhm,” falling asleep.


	27. Beautiful is a Girly Word

The kids were just trying to make his life harder today. Cas had gone to the hospital to go check out a few patients because unlike Dean, Cas had to work during the summer. Dean had both the twins in his arms walking down the stairs.

“Daddy!” Riley tried to get Dean’s attention even though Dean could hear him perfectly fine.

“What, Ri? I can hear and carry the green beans down stairs.” Dean waddled towards the kitchen with his eldest son at his ankles.

“You have to listen to me, Daddy. It’s important.” Riley spoke while Dean slid Ryan into his high chair.

“I’m listening, Carrot. You have 100% of my attention.” Dean plopped Lyric in her high chair and walked over to the cabinet to grab their breakfast baby food jars.

Riley whined. “No, you’re not listening! You are moving around!” Dean pulled out two rubber-ended spoons from the drawers, but Riley knocked them out of his hand. “DADDY!”

“Riley Lucas.” Dean remarked. “I’m trying to fix Ryan and Lyric their breakfast. I’m listening to you. Please, just tell me what you want.”

Riley pouted and walked over to the kitchen table and sat in his normal seat and crossed his arms over his chest. Dean huffed and looked down around his huge swell. He set the two jars down and placed one hand on his back and other gripped the counter as he lowered himself to the ground to grab the two small spoons. Riley watched him struggle and he did nothing. He somehow got back to standing. He waddled to his sit in front of the twins.

“Riley, if you want my attention, just talk to me. Ryan and Lyric have a schedule. Also, Daddy can bend and move like usual so picking things up off the floor is almost impossible. When you knocked the spoons out of my hands I could barely get down to pick them up. You didn’t even try to help me. You just sat here and pouted.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Riley whimpered.

“Will you do better next time?”

“Yes, sir.” Riley answered without missing a beat.

Dean opened the baby food containers. “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Riley was quiet for a few minutes. Dean just continued feeding the twins. He was about halfway done when Riley finally decided to speak. “Why does Haley want her ears pierced?”

Dean smiled. “Cause she wants to put jewelry on her ears to looks girly and pretty. It’s the same reason why Ethan wants me and Papa to do her hair every day. Or why Dot always has to wear a pretty dress and matching shoes. They wanna look pretty.”

“Can boys look pretty?”

“They can, we call it looking handsome.” He looked at his son.

“I wanna look handsome.” Riley remarked.

Dean laughed. “You are handsome, Carrot. Just look at your Daddy. I’m pretty handsome.”

“You’re pretty and handsome?!?!” Riley gasped utterly confused.

Dean wiped Lyric and Ryan’s face as he laughed. “No, buddy, I’m very handsome.”

“What about Papa?”

“He is handsome too. If I’m handsome and he is handsome that means our ids are going to be beautiful.”

“But beautiful is a girly word.”

“Beautiful is a gender neutral word. For guys, it would be used like “That car is beautiful.” Or for girl, it would be like “That dress is beautiful.” Dean threw the spoons in the sink. “What’s got you asking about pretty, handsome, and pierced ears?”

“Stella got her ears pierced.” Riley proclaimed.

“Who is this Stella? You haven’t talked about her to me before.” He pulled Ryan out of his high chair along with Lyric.

Riley hopped off his chair. “Papa took me over to her house two days ago so we could play.”

“Well, go run along, Daddy has some chores he has to finish up before lunch when Uncle Sammy drops off Raven and Blake while Aunt Ruby and Uncle Sam go on a vacation.”

“Why isn’t Thomas coming too?”

“Thomas wanted to spend a few days with Grandpa.” Dean walked into the living room and set the twins in their play pen.

It took him two hours to clean their guest bedroom that they had finally gotten two twin beds for first for Raven and Blake when they stay over and then when the green get older enough, their bed. He was already exhausted and he still had the laundry Raven and Blake left here since Sam and Ruby haven’t adopted them yet. They are still legally Cas’s.

He was putting clothes into the washing machine when he heard someone in the doorway. It was Ethan actually out of bed. “Ethan, how are you feeling? You look a lot better.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Ethan whimpered. “I’ve been having nightmares, Daddy.”

Dean straightened his back and walked Ethan into the living room and to the couch. “Ethan, what’s going on?”

“I can’t go to sleep without having those nightmares of that morning, Daddy.” She had tears roll down her cheeks.

“Honey, what happened was very traumatic. It might take a while for things to become normal again. You can always get things off your chest with me.” He smiled wiping the tears from her eyes.

“You and Papa were fighting a lot and I was just a burden so I thought the family would be better if there was one less person in the house. I didn’t even think y’all would notice.”

“Oh sweetheart…”

“I walked all the way to the park by the school when this group of girls came over to me and laughed at me. I wanted to go back home. I was scared. I started heading back home and they followed me. One of the girls tripped me, or tried and I turned around and pushed one and began to ran but there were too many.” She sobbed.

“You’re safe, now, Sweet Peas.” Dean pulled her gently to his chest and wrapped an arms around her and rubbed her bad arms ever so gently. “Daddy’s gotcha. We are always going to love you and need you in the family. When those fights were going on, yeah, we were ugly, but none of it was towards you. You, Haley, Dot, Riley, the twins, these twins, they are all the best things to happen to me and Papa. Don’t ever think that you aren’t needed. Those nightmares aren’t real. If you have’em just sit up and call for me and me or Papa will come running ready to cuddle with you and keep you safe just like we do with Dot.”

Ethan stood and smiled. “I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“Good girl.” Dean hauled himself up to his feet after the second failed attempted. He heard the front door open as he moved the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer.

“Could you have left any of the heavy lifting to me?” He heard getting closer to him.

“Oh, I did.” Dean scoffed. “I dropped five books in the guest room, a pile of Raven’s clothes in the hallway, a few of Ryan and lyrics paci’s are on the floor in the nursery when I was putting them down, I’m on my second laundry basket because it fell of the bed as I was folding and flipped so I could get it. You will find the many other things that I accidently dropped while cleaning as best I could.”

“We’ve reached that point, haven’t we.” Cas smiled.

“I can’t see my feet, my back hurts, I’m waddling. Bending over is impossible and getting down on the floor is worse. I don’t think I actually did anything with my hair this morning and I am so very, very, very, very tired…but extremely horny at the same time.”

“You go take a nap. I can handle everything while you out. Tonight I can fix that last thing of your before you sleep some more.” Cas winked.

“Thank you. You are my saving grace.” Dean kissed his husband.

“Just a few more months and we will be holding our precious baby boys.” Cas pecked Dean’s lips again.

“Positive thinking, good.” Dean remarked. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” Cas popped Dean’s ass as he walked away.

“I doubt that. I’ve had all but two of our children.” He laughed as he walked up the stairs.

_******* _


	28. Dirty Nights

 “Mmm Cas, it’s been way too long…” Dean moaned out as Castiel was sucking on his neck, his hand exploring other part of Dean. Cas looked up at Dean before putting his wet lips onto Dean’s chapped ones.

“Cas,” he said between kisses, grabbing at Cas’s ass, “you’re an eager beaver tonight, aren’t you?”

Castiel looks at him with eyes of lust, nodding before biting the bottom of Dean’s lip softly, smirking up at his husband. He goes down and starts sucking at Dean’s neck again, nipping at it. Dean shivered at ever suck, smiling.

“I’m starting to think you’re even hornier than me.” Dean says smirking, arching his back as Castiel went to press kisses around is nipples. “That would be,” Castiel starts to say before, coming back up to Dean’s mouth, “because I am hornier than you.”

Castiel takes Dean’s mouth to his, smashing his tongue into his mouth as if it was his favorite drink…which wasn’t entirely wrong.

 Dean smiled as Castiel took complete control, which Castiel loved doing. Sometime he was up for Dean having his hands all over him, but Castiel couldn’t get enough of Dean’s body. He had to get his hands on him as much as possible and it had been so long.

Castiel grids against Dean’s leg as he leans down seeing Dean’s hardened cock under his swollen stomach. “I wanna taste you baby, it’s been way too long!” Castiel mumbled, rubbing against Dean, still in his boxers. His tongue finds its way to his husband’s dick, licking long strokes against the sensitive member. Dean moans and grabs Cas’s hair.

Castiel blows hot air from his mouth onto his cock, making it twitch. Dean knocks his head back to the head-board, “I’m so glad you have no gag-reflects baby. Oh Gosh.” Dean practically moans.

Cas bobs up and down until Dean has to bit onto his husband hand to keep him from screaming as his come leaps into Cas’s mouth. He swallowed all of it, and licked the rest off of Dean.  

“Oh Cas baby, look at you…” Dean smiles softly, as Cas gets back to Dean’s side, rubbing his hair. “You so beautiful with your sex hair, and my come your cheek, and certainly that huge dark spot, right there…” Dean whispers as he slides his fingers across the damp spot.

Cas closes his eyes. “Dean, no more or I’ll be coming in my boxers…I just wanted to please you tonight.” Castiel says grunting as Dean continues to palm his cock through his boxers. Dean wraps his arm around his husband and pulls him closer to him so he could kiss him. “I just want to see you come apart baby…” His fingers go back to stroke the now dark spot on his boxers.

Dean puts his mouth over Cas’s mouth as soon as he hits his climax and moans loudly into his husband hand. “Shit…” Castiel says, getting up off the bed to the bathroom, taking off his boxers and cleaning himself off. “You should just come to bed naked; I like it when you do that.” Dean says to Cas as he’s putting on a new pair of boxers, rolling his eyes. Cas almost was in the bed when he hears a knock on their locked door.

“Yes?” Cas yells, walking over to the door, opening it a little. Dot was there in her crutches, looking at him. “Riley is crying silently to himself and won’t let any of us in his room.”

Castiel sighs. “I’ll go check on him, you go back to bed.” He says walking out of his and Dean’s room. Dot goes to her room, not questioning as Cas gets to Riley room, hearing tiny whimpers. He knocks on the door lightly, although the door is not locked and he could just come pouncing in like his father used to. He taught his kids to knock before enter anywhere, because of the things that happened when his family would not knock.

“Go away!” Riley yells, and Castiel can tell that he is indeed crying. “Riley, what’s wrong?” Cas asks. There is no answer.

“Riley, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I’m coming in…”

“No! Don’t come in!” Riley says, almost nervously. “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong in the next five seconds, I’m coming in.”

He heard Riley grunt. “Don’t make me count to five young man.” Cas sasses out of him. For Dean to have all the babies, Cas acted like the mom a lot. He hears nothing again.

“One – Two – Three – Four –“

He opens the door and turns on the light. “No! Turn the lights back off! Turn the lights back off!” Riley yelled not moving from his sitting position in the bed. “Riley, it’s way past your bedtime. I just want to know why you’re so upset.” Castiel says as he walks over to Riley’s bed.

“NO!” Riley screams at the top of his lungs. Cas’s eyes go wide and he walks closer to Riley who starts sobbing. “Riley Lucas, it is 11 o’ clock at night, you’re going to wake everyone else in the house. You know better than this. Now, tell Papa what’s wrong.”

Castiel is standing over him now and Riley shakes his head rapidly, wiping his eyes with his tiny hands. As soon as Riley is calming down, Castiel tries again. “Can you tell me what’s wrong, now?”

Riley shakes his head. Cas sighs and starts to sit down on Riley’s bed when Riley tries to stop him. “NO!” He yells, but it is too late. Castiel down on the edge of a puddle of liquid which Cas now knew was urine.

“Oh Riley…” Cas whispers. He stands up again, removes the sheets from Riley’s body. The bed had a giant puddle in the middle, spreading to the sides and the end. Riley pajama pants soaking wet. Riley is crying hard again. Cas sighs, and leans down picking Riley up. Urine drips off Riley’s pants as he picks him up, and Cas makes sure it gets on the bed.

Riley cries into his father as he carries him to the bathroom. He sits him on the edge of the sink counter, and turns on the water for the bathtub. “I’m not mad at you Riley, I promise.” He says as he turns back to Riley and kisses his forehead.

“Can you tell Papa what happened?” Cas asks, taking off Riley’s pajama pants and tiny boxers. Riley frowns, “I had a bad dream, and I woke up like that. I’m sorry Papa, I’m a big boy, it won’t happen again.”

Cas nods. “It’s okay Riley, I promise. I’m not upset with you. It’s okay.”

Riley rubbed his eyes, he was tired. Cas picked him up and put him in the tub, softly. “Once I get you all washed up, you can sleep with me and Daddy.” Cas says grabbing the soap, washing his eldest son.

Once he was done cleaning him he, picks him up and sits him on the side of Dean’s and his bed. He goes into Riley’s room, getting a clean pair of boxer, coming back and getting Riley dressed. “Now Riley, do you need to go pee-pee before you go to bed with us?” Castiel asked, his baby voice coming out. Riley shakes his head.

Dean is asleep and barely moves when Cas and Riley are in the bed. Riley cuddles into his Papa before drifting to sleep quickly. Castiel smiles. He’ll clean the rest in the morning.


	29. He Just Reset...

He woke up not wanting to actually be awake. Something was different. The TV was on, playing cartoons. Last time he checked Cas only watched cartoons when The Sweet Peas, Carrot, or Green beans were with him. He glanced over at the clock. 8:30. It was too early. He sat up and dragged himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom. One of the boys was pressing on his bladder, he had no choice but to get up.

When he walked back he noticed Riley curled up with Cas on the bed, that’s why the TV was on. “Morning, Daddy.” Riley whispered.

“Morning, Carrot.” Dean mumbled. He saw that Cas had fallen back asleep, sitting upright. He smirked and slowly blinked. “You can keep watching TV, bud, Daddy’s gonna get a little more sleep.”

He felt like he had just closed his eyes when he was woken up again. “Dean, You’re not going to sleep the day away.” Cas said softly as he kissed his cheek and forehead.

“Leave me alone.” Dean moaned half-heartedly pushed Cas’s away. “I wanna sleep.”

“I let you sleep two hours longer than I would have normally.” Cas kissed Dean’s cheek again. “Come on, babe, its 12:30.”

Dean groaned and sat up and pouted at Cas. “Just one day…”

“No, I won’t allow you to sleep the day away.” Cas pulled him out of bed.

“Why was Riley in bed with us this morning?” Dean asked as they walked down the stairs.

“He slept in our bed with us, last night.” Cas answered.

Dean wiped a hand down his face and yawned. “Did he have a nightmare or something?”

“He did. I think he might be having nightmares like the ones you said you had when you were his age.”

Dean planted himself at the kitchen table. “Monsters and the creatures of the night?”

“Yeah, but he wet the bed last night.” Cas didn’t beat around the bush any further.

“Oh.” Dean said not expecting that. “Well, we’ll tuck him in at night and reinsure him that there is no monsters and make sure he goes to the bathroom before bed.”

“You sound absolutely sure that will work.” Cas crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter.

“It worked with me. My Mom did that until I stopped having the nightmares at 8 or 9.” Dean replied. “That was when Dad started to get a little more physical.”

“You wet the bed when you were his age?”

“Yeah, John never found out. Mom was very diligent about him not knowing. She protected my back then, but as the years went by she began more afraid of what John would do to her and less caring about what he did to me.”

“Oh Dean.” Cas sighed.

“No, it’s fine. We’ll try what My Mom did with me on Riley. If he’s anything like me, it should work.” Dean slowly stood and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. “Where is everybody?”

“Lyric and Ryan are down for their afternoon nap. Riley is in his room playing with Blake. The sweet peas and Raven are somewhere playing probably videos games.”

Dean nodded. “How are Raven and Blake doing?”

“They had a good night from what they told me. They like staying at Sam and Ruby’s. They can’t wait to be able to call them their parents.” Cas smiled whole-heartedly.

“You looked extremely happy that they are opening up to you.” Dean smiled placing a hand on his huge swell.

“I am extremely happy, Dean. The children I gave birth to all those years ago are finally able to be happy and not have to worry about an evil monster of a man.” Cas sat down across from him at the kitchen table. “I’m happy that I even get to see them.”

“Raven and Blake are lucky to have you in their lives. They don’t know how much you love them and how much you would do for them.”

“I killed their father…” Cas answered.

Dean took Cas’s hand. “Stop that. Crowley was not their father. I don’t want to hear that. Crowley was a bastard that deserved more than a knife to the heart. Stop thinking that you are the bad guy, Cas.” Cas nodded. “If you were a bad guy then what would I be? What would my fa--…what would John be?”

“It just when you think of someone killing another man they are the bad guy. They go to prison.” Cas smirked looking down at his and Dean’s hands. “I know Crowley deserved what he got, but I can’t help thinking that this isn’t how it goes down in the movies.”

“This isn’t the movies, hon. This is real life. You didn’t nothing wrong. You saved Meg’s life. That’s a hero in my book. There’s a reason Riley thinks you are a superhero.”

“Talk with John, please.” Cas looked Dean in the eyes, changing the subject.

“No…” Dean shook his head.

“He _is_ your father, even if he didn’t act like one. We know that John didn’t do anything wrong the last time we talked with him. We need him to help with the kids. School starts next month, Sam can’t take all of the kids to where they need to be.”

“I’m not talking to him, Cas.” Dean looked away from Cas.

“You’re acting like he did something.” Cas gently tugged Dean’s hands to get his husband to look at him. “What happened?”

“No, something didn’t happen. John is like Crowley, but when I try to defend myself with a knife, I get steel toes boot to the knee and a fryer pan to the head. I was 13 and I told him that my class was going on an overnight field trip. He called me a worthless cocksucking whore. He told me that I was just making up lies so I could blow random boys in the alley, because I was naughty little boy.” Dean stood from his seat. “I didn’t go on the field trip and was sent to the ER with a broken knee cap. Spent the rest of 8th grade on crutches.”

“Dean…he’s changed. He is a different man.” Cas spoke standing.

“No, he didn’t change. He just reset.” Dean angrily stared at Cas. “I would like it if we stopped talking about this.”

“We’re not done talking, Dean. We said we were going to get through this together.” Cas walked over to Dean.

Dean held his back. “I’m done talking, Cas, for today at least. I’m gonna go taking a shower and have a nervous breakdown and cry, if you need me.”

Dean walked up the stairs and striped down naked in the bathroom with the shower running and the door locked. He body had white scars from years of abuse. Sometimes he can still feel the pain like they were new wounds. He was getting worked up in his head that a little kick from one of the boys brought him back to reality. He smiled and rubbed his belly. “I’m sorry, little guys, Daddy’s getting upset. You’re gonna be entering into a wild family. You’re going to be loved by everybody. We can’t wait to have you out in the open.”

There was another kick and he smirked as he stepped into the shower. Everything was gonna be ok.

_******* _


	30. Mistakes

 

“Juice! Papa, Juice!” Ryan whined in Cas’s arm. “Alright, alright little man; Do you want apple or orange juice?” He asked him. Lyric was sitting in her high-chair bouncing up and down waiting for her dinner. “App-l!” He says trying to grab his sippy cup, whining.

Castiel sits him in his highchair and gets out apple juice, pouring it into both their sippy cups. “Yay!” Lyric said, clapping her hands. Cas gave an overly-dramatic face, “Yay!” He said make her laugh.

He gave Ryan his first sense he was cranky, then Lyric. Ryan drank out of it and slamming it back on the table. “Lightly Ryan, lightly.” Cas says grabbing Lyric’s cup and softly putting back on the table. “See? Lightly.”

“No.” Ryan says, smiling like it was a joke. Cas sighs. “That’s your favorite word right now, isn’t it?” He picks Ryan and Lyric up and puts them in their playpen.

“No!” Ryan replies to his question. Cas smiles and sits in there with them. Lyric grabbed onto the edge of the playpen walking over to Castiel, letting herself fall onto his lap. Cas smirked and kissed her cheek. “You’re catching up with your brother; you’re going to be running around this house before we know it.”

Castiel sat her down and got out of the playpen, getting on the couch so he could watch them play while he relaxed. He was thinking about what Dean had said two weeks ago, and if Dean wasn’t going to talk to John, then they would have to find someone else to watch the kids or take them places when they can’t.

Cas got out of his phone and looked through his contacts. When he saw Gabriel’s name, for some reason he felt he should call him. He had never called Gabriel back when he asked him too. Of course Cas knew that Gabriel had to have been concerned, but Kali never lets him call him so the chances of him forgetting were nearly one-hundred percent.

 He clicked the call button and rested his feet on the coffee table in front of him, waiting. “Heeeeello!”

“Hey Gabe, it’s Castiel.” He says, hearing the charm in Gabriel’s voice. “Hey Cassie,” Gabriel slurs out with loud noises behind him, “Are you depressed again because I’m shit-faced right now and don’t feel like hearing bullshit.”

Castiel frowned. ‘ _Does he really think that all my problems are bullshit?’_ He shook his head and tried to ignore the statement and went on. “Gabriel, are you drunk?”

“Hell yes, what else would I be doing right now?” Gabriel mumbled. “Gabriel it’s a Tuesday night, where are you?” Cas was very confused.

“I’m celebrating our brother’s marriage, ya duff!” Gabriel shouted as if there was no problem saying it. Castiel went silent. He closed his eyes, ‘ _this was a bad idea…’_

“Who got married?” Cas asked, his voice cracking a bit. He could here laughing and partying on the other line. “You should know little bro, you’re here!” Gabriel laughed out loud.

“Gabriel you’re on a phone call with me -- I’m not there.” Castiel rubbed his head. “Oh…” Gabriel said going quiet and then laughing some more. Cas couldn’t believe it.

“Luci got married today. You should have came to the party, it’s great!” Gabriel sounded like he had a mouthful of something as he talked. “Gabriel I – I wasn’t invited…” Castiel looked down at his feet that were now planted on the ground.

“Oh bummer – I guess Luci forgot about ya!”

“No Gabriel, he hates me and didn’t want me or my family there! Don’t you fucking remember?” Castiel is getting angry now as he remembers his past.

“Hey Cassie, quit being such a party pooper.” Gabriel complained. “You’re right Gabriel… I don’t know why I even called…”

“I told you if you were calling to talk about your bullshit then I was of no good use to you.” Gabriel said in a mocking voice. Castiel was now blowing smoke out of his ears. “Fuck off Gabriel! I knew it was too good to be true that you actually didn’t hate me like the rest of the damn family!” Castiel yelled.

Gabriel was silent for a bit. “Well Cassie, you’re finally catching on aren’t you?” Laughing was in the background, Castiel could hear someone yell ‘faggot.’

“I can’t – I can’t believe you.” Castiel eyes are wet, “Go fuck yourself you damn animal of a brother!”

“Oh fighting back aren’t we?” Gabriel laughs. “Listen, I’ll leave you and your husband alone. I don’t like party pooper. Man, I’m glad I came to this party to clear my head. Thanks Luci!” Gabriel says, as if Lucifer has been by his side this own time.

            “Fucking leave me alone!” Castiel yells through the phone. He had zoned out the world around him.  “Alright Cassie, I’ll leave you alone if you leave us the fuck alone!” Gabriel yelled, “Goodbye Asstiel!”

            The phone went dead, and Castiel drops it on the floor with a hard thud. He looked around the babies were no longer in their playpen and the lights were off. He felt a hand touch his shoulder, “Cas, honey?”

            “Don’t touch me!” Castiel exploded without thinking. As soon as he saw that he had exploded on Dean, he felt even worse. He took off, walking past his a few of his kids who were apparently watching him the whole time.

            He ran all the way to the master bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. He leaned against the tub with his head between his knees which were up. He hadn’t had a depression attack or a mental breakdown in a long, long time. He hadn’t felt this since Raven and Blake were taken away from him all those years ago.

            He was actually crying, sobbing to be more honest. All of his past flooding into him like a giant hurricane was in his brain. He was zoned out and didn’t know what was going around him, but he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know.

            All that was ringing through his mind was how his parents or brother never liked him. He was an unwanted accident. His old habits ran through his head, and it was hard to act upon them. ‘ _This whole time I thought I had at least one brother left but it was all a lie and a horrible joke. I’m a murderer, a disgrace, a faggot, and the worst father in the universe.’_ Castiel thought to himself, sobbing.


	31. Family Don't End in Blood

Dean crept into the master bedroom. He ran his fingers through his hair. He rubbed his palm into the side of his swell. He could hear Cas’s sob. It was shocking and confusing. He began to pace the bedroom not knowing what to do. “Daddy?”

Dean flinched and looked in the doorway. “Haley.”

“Is Papa ok?”

He ushered her out of the bedroom. “Don’t worry about Papa, Hal. You should be in bed.”

“Is our family falling apart?”

“What makes you say that, Haley?” Dean lead his youngest triplet into her bedroom. “The family is not falling apart.”

She crawled into bed and Dean pulled a chair over to her. “It sure seems like that. You and Papa fighting, Ethan running away, we haven’t seen Grandpa in a while.”

“Haley, the family isn’t falling apart. Sure we have been hit by a few curve balls, but me and Papa are gonna stay together through thick or thin. We love each other and nothing can break us apart.”

“Why haven’t we seen Grandpa since Raven and Blake got here?” She looked straight at her father.

“I’m not talking to Grandpa right now.” Dean took Haley’s hand. “Don’t worry about that, Peanut.”

“Is he still gonna take us to school?”

“No. Papa and I are gonna find someone else.” Dean stood and tucked her in.

“Why? Grandpa was good at dropping us off and picking us up.” She replied. “I wanna see her again, Daddy.”

“No, sweetie, I can’t do that right now. I don’t trust him.” Dean put the chair away.

“That’s stupid. He’s your Dad. I can’t go a day without talking with you. Even if I’m mad at you, I need to talk to you. I call you before I go to bed when I’m at sleepovers.” Haley spoke sitting up again.

“Haley…”

“You already lost your Mama. Grandpa is the only parent you have left. You can’t shut him out. You can’t lose him as well.” She said in such an adult fashion that it broke Dean’s heart.

Dean kissed Haley on the forehead. “Goodnight, Haley.” His voice cracked. He grabbed his phone and stepped into Cas’s office and shut the door. He brought the phone to his ear. He rang five times before a groggy voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Dad?” Dean sounded pathetic.

“Dean?” John sounded shocked.

“I’m so sorry.” Dean let tears fall down his face. “I shut you out under the false accusations. I was wrong.”

“It’s ok, Dean. I understand why you did what you did.” John answered calmly. “You were just trying to protect your children. I know you don’t fully trust me and are always on high alert with me. You went with your instinct. It showed me that you are a good father. Something I never was with you. I know you will never really forgive me for what I did to you all those years ago.”

“Dad, we already lost Mom…I didn’t wanna lose you too. You and Sammy are all the family I have left.”

“I know, son, you’ll never lose me.”

Dean sucked up snot and wiped his eyes. “I want you to be in my kids life. I want things to go back to the way they were.”

“So me picking up and dropping off the kids to and from school and getting invited to family get togethers?”

Dean smirked through the tears. “Yeah.”

“That’s fine with me, but Dean I would love to talk to you over coffee or something.”

“Uhh, Dad, I can’t really drink coffee being 6 months pregnant.” Dean slowly sat in Cas’s rolling chair. He sat in a wide stance to give his watermelon stomach some room. He ran a hand down his middle. “I can sit and watch you drink coffee.”

“How is the baby?”

“Babies…it’s twins boys.” Dean replied. “They are fine. I gotta go, we can talk later, Dad. I’m glad we cleared things up.”

He could hear John clear his throat. “It’s good to hear you voice, Dean.”

“Bye Dad.” Dean hung up and pulled himself out of the chair and held his back and wiped his face before he left Cas’s office. He walked into the bedroom to find the bathroom door open. Cas was sitting on the floor propped against the bed as if he crawled out of the bathroom and had no energy to get up. His arms were draped over his slightly bend knees as he stared blankly at the ground a few feet away. Cas was gonna make him get on the ground with him.

He walked over to his husband and lowered himself to his knees and some anything but gracefully flopped on his ass beside Cas with a grunt. Once again his legs were spread further apart to allow his basketball middle room. He placed on hand on his stomach and took Cas’s hand in the other. “Care to tell me who was on the phone that got you so upset?”

“Gabriel.” Cas answered without missing a beat.

“Wanna tell me what he said?” Dean lightly brushed his thumb against the top of Cas’s hand.

Cas shook his head. “My older brother Lucifer got married…I wasn’t invited.”

“Uh, honey, I’m sorry….”

“Gabriel was drunk and told me he hated me and didn’t wanna hear my bullshit complaints.” Cas kept going as he shut his eyes and tears fell from his already stained cheeks. “I was just asking him if he wanted to get to know his nieces and nephew by taking them to school or picking them up.”

“It’s ok, baby, you’re ok…”

“My whole family hates me…I thought Gabriel was the only one..w-who _cared_.” Cas’s voice cracked.

“Fuck him, baby, fuck all of them hard in ass. Who needs them? You are a Winchester through and through. You became a doctor…a fucking head doctor of the pediatrician ward, a surrogate for your best friend, and became the best damn father around without them.”

“But they are my family…” Cas whimpered.

Dean wrapped his arms around his husband and pressed his cheek against Cas’s head. “Shhh, Just because you’re blood doesn’t make you family. You have to earn that. Bobby told me years ago that “Family don’t end in blood.” I’m your family. Our children, Sam, Ruby, their children, Blake, Raven, Meg, Bobby, Ellen, Jo,…John…, me. That’s your family. If they don’t want the most caring, loving, gentle soul in their family, screw them, they don’t _deserve_ you.”

Cas sniffed looked up at Dean. “You mean that.”

“With every fiber of my being.” Dean smiled.

Cas lightly smiled then frowned. “You’ve been crying.”

“I talked with John. We’re getting better. Haley pulled the pole that was shoved far up my ass. She used the Mom card on me. She’s a smart little girl.”

“She’s our daughter.” Cas smiled. Dean leaned forward and kissed his lover.

Cas stood and looked down at Dean. “Be lucky I love you. I can’t get up now. I will be down here until these chicken nuggets are born.”

Cas wiped his eyes and stretched out both his hands to Dean. He pulled Dean to his feet. “I love you, Dean.”

“I know. I’m gonna pee and then we can snuggle together around my elephant sized stomach.”

“You look beautiful, Dean.” Cas smiled kissing Dean before he walked to the bathroom. “You’re such a romantic.”

“What can I say? I try my best.” Dean smiled when he came back. They curled up in bed and after a long moment of silence Dean spoke. “I love you more than anything, Castiel Winchester-Novak.”

_******* _


	32. Nightime

 

            **_1 month later…_**

****

Cas woke up for the sixth time that night shaking, and rubbing his eyes. He whipped the sweat off his brow, turning and looking at his husband. Dean was fast asleep still, his stomach huge. His arm was wrapped around his stomach and his mouth was agape.

            Cas got out of bed and went to the bathroom for the third time that night and did his business, splashing some water on his face. He was tired; dark bags under his eyes.

            He kept waking up from sleeping not even thirty minutes from the same nightmare over and over again. It would only get worse every-time he would fall back to sleep. His fear of telling Dean of what was going on in his head ever since he called Gabriel was just growing in his mind, getting worse. Now it was causing him not to sleep. _‘Great.’_ Castiel thought to himself.

            He decided to walk around the house some. It couldn’t hurt him, plus he could see if his kids were all okay. Riley’s room was the first he went to because Riley would wet the bed time and time again after last time. He looked closely down at his eldest son, and saw that nothing was wrong. The only liquid was the drool on his pillow beside his mouth.

            He checked Dot’s room and Ethan’s room next, both being perfectly fine. Haley’s room was too expect he accidentally made the door creak and woke her up. “Papa?” She said, her voice dragging as she spoke.

            “Yes, Sweet Pea?” Castiel whispered. “Are you okay?” She asked turning on her lamp and looking at her father.

            Cas yawned, “Yes, Papa’s just really tired.”

            “Then why are you up? It’s three in the morning.” She asked rubbing her eyes.

            “I’m up because I wanted to check on my side dishes.” Castiel said, his voice hoarse. Hayley looked confused. “Side dishes?” She asked.

            Castiel nodded, “That’s what your dad and I call all of you sometimes. Anyway, you go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” Castiel yawned again, turning away only to hear his daughter call his name again.

            “Papa?” She said after she turned her lamp off. “Yes?” Castiel replied.

            “Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks again, timidly. Cas frowns, “Don’t about me Hayley, I’m okay.” Cas says.

            “100 percent okay?” She asks. Castiel isn’t going to lie to his daughter; he can’t. “Goodnight Hayley.” Castiel says, walking away hearing a faint, “Goodnight Papa” in the background.

            When Cas is almost back in his room he hears one of the twins crying. Castiel huffs a sigh and opens the door closest his and Dean’s room.

            Ryan had his hands on the railing, standing up, crying for someone. He’d been doing that lately. He would wake up in the middle of the night and realize he was alone. Once he knew he was alone the tears came and Castiel was awake at his side.

            None of their other kids were as clingy as Ryan. Ryan hated being alone, even as a tiny, tiny baby. Castiel picked him up and Ryan’s crying stopped quickly. Castiel sat down on the rocking chair, and rocked Ryan until he was sound asleep again.

            He kissed his forehead and put him down in his crib. When he got back to the room he saw it was five in the morning already. With a giant yawn, crawls back into bed cuddling into Dean, falling asleep once again.

 !#@$%^&*()

 

            “Baby, wake up. It’s 12 o’ clock.” Dean said, shaking Castiel. “Come on babe, I know it’s a Saturday but you got to get up. Everyone else is up, even this two roasting chickens.”

            Castiel mumbles something into the pillow not moving. Dean slowly bends down as much as he can without it hurting his back and kissed Cas’s head. “What was that? I can’t here you if your mouth is on a pillow.”

            Castiel moaned. “’M tired!” He moaned, rolling over so his back was facing Dean. “Oh how the tables have turned.” Cas could hear the smirk on Dean’s face. Of course he didn’t know Castiel barely got an hour of sleep.

            “Babe, really come on. Everyone’s getting hungry and you know I’m shit at cooking.” Dean says only to hear a slight snore come from the other end of the bed. Dean shook him again, harder than before. “Did you really just fall back asleep on me honey?”

            Cas faintly nodded. “Just – just ten more – ten more minutes.” His pleads seemed to let Dean know was tired he was or at least that’s what Castiel thought. “Okay, I’ll give you ten more minutes baby, but just that.” Dean said leaving the room, slapping Cas’s ass.

            It felt as if Cas’s had just fallen back asleep when he felt the whole bed shaking. “Get up Papa! Get up Sleepyhead!” Riley said, jumping up and down on the bed.

            Castiel groaned, “Five more minutes…”

            “No I gave ten more minutes on the dot, it’s time to rise in shine.” Dean said as Riley continued to jump on the bed. Castiel moaned, holding his pillow tighter in his hands.

            He could hear whispering from beside him and then suddenly he was being tickled by tiny fingers. Cas smiled and wiggled around trying to get out the grip. He started laughing as Riley jumped on top of him, tickling both of his sides.

            Castiel was laughing with his eyes half open. “Alright – alright I’m up!” He shouts, sitting up rubbing his eyes. “Yay!” Riley smiles and gets off the bed, running to the kitchen. Dean sat down the bed next to Cas as he yawned and stretched. “This isn’t like you Cas, what’s up?”

            “What do you mean?” He asked, getting up and taking off the pair of boxers he slept in and changing into a fresh pair. “I mean, you slept through Ryan practically screaming at seven this morning. You have never slept through any little noise out of that baby monitor. Then you slept through me getting up and even taking a shower. Cas, you’re a morning person; what’s going on?”

            Castiel sits back on the bed and wraps his arms around Dean. “I didn’t sleep pretty much at all last night baby. That’s all.”

            Dean turns around. “Is there a reason?”

            Castiel nodded. “I was having this pretty bad nightmare…I rather not talk about it right now. I’ll tell you when the time is right. I don’t need to be crying all day.” Castiel says, sighing. Dean nods and frowns. “By the time these nuggets are one?”

            Cas nods. “By the time those nuggets are one.” He bends down and kisses Dean’s stomach. “Not too much longer and we get to see you guys pretty little faces.” Cas smiles, talking to the babies.

            Dean is smiles and kisses Cas. “I’ll let you go to bed earlier tonight, is that a deal?” Dean said. Cas laughed, “Yes, that’s a deal.”


	33. Setting the Bar Low...

Dean hadn’t told Cas about meeting John for coffee. He got up early the next day before anyone woke up. It was hard to actually sneak around because with every pregnancy would knock things over with his stomach. He pulled over some preggo jeans and a old shirt he wore with the trips and managed to get shoes on. He waddled down the steps. It was a Saturday. He had just started back working at the school. School had started back about a month ago and him and John had been talking through text getting caught up on what he missed. Dean was finally free to talk in person. He squeezed into the Impala and drove to the destination. He had already saw John’s old truck in the parking lot.

The boys were awake and moving around. They weren’t so much bothering him. They were liking to press against his spine as he walked which wasn’t fine, but it was better than his bladder. He waddled into the Starbucks and saw John sitting at a two person table reading something on his phone and sipping on coffee.

Dean went and order his one decaf coffee of the day and walked over to John. “Morning.” Dean spoke roughly still waking up.

John flinched then smiled and stood. “Morning.” Dean set down his coffee and hugged his father. “You look good, son.”

“Thank you, I mean there’s not much I can do.” Dean slowly made his way into the chair.

“When are you due?” John asked taking a swig.

Dean ran a hand down his stomach. “Around 2 ½ to 3 months.”

“Are you and Cas planning any more after these two?” John smiled leaning back.

He couldn’t help but laugh. Mary had always joked about Dean having a huge family. God, he wished she could see him now. “I think we’re done after these nuggets. These weren’t even planned.”

“Ethan, Dot and Haley are in the…”

“4th grade.” Dean nodded feeling one of the boys punching his side. “Time has gone by so fast.”

“Feels like just yesterday that me and Mary got a call from the hospital saying you had collapsed.” John looked at his hands. “I remember how scared you were to tell us that you decided to have a baby as a single parent, but was not only having one, but three.”

“You can understand why.” Dean didn’t make eye contact with John.

John nodded. “Your mother would be so proud of you, Dean. You’re a better father than I ever was or could be.”

“That’s setting the bar pretty low.” Dean deadpanned.

“Dean…”

“You can’t erase what I went through. I went through Hell for over 14 years.” Dean adjusted himself in his seat. “I have passed on some of my characteristics to my children. Riley has nightmares like I had. Ethan has my anger and Haley has my anxiety.”

“Dean, you can’t blame those on me. Those are genetics.” John pointed.

“No, mom use to tell me I was a carefree, sweet boy until Sam was born. Once you are aggressive my nightmares started…my anxiety started. You passed your anger to me.”

John sat in silence and nodded. “I know that inside you that you would rather me had been in that wreck then Mary. You won’t say it, but I know it’s true.” Dean opened his mouth to speak but John spoke first. “Don’t make an excuse. You can admit it, you wouldn’t rather your mother alive than your former abusive father.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I don’t wish you replaced mom in the wreck. I wish that wreck never happened because my daughter lost her leg. What I do wish is that one of the those cops had shot you in between the eyes when they came that night when you were choking me. That same night you were let free because I covered for you by lying and saying I was choking on food. I was 12 and you had me wrapped around your finger.”

“I’m sorry, Dean.” John shook his head.

“I’ll tell you again, John. I can never forgive you. I forgot why I came here.” Dean stood slowly. “I do trust you with my children, but that’s it.”

“Dean, sit back down.” John spoke.

“Bye John.” Dean waddled out of the coffee shop. He drove back home and smell breakfast being cooked.

He stepped into the living room and saw four little head pop up. “Daddy?”

“Morning, guys.” Dean half smiled.

“Where have you been?” Haley asked standing up.

“I went out for a little while.” Dean walked past them patting Haley gently on her head. He stepped into the kitchen. He noticed that breakfast wasn’t being cooked…it had been cooked and eaten. Cas was finishing feeding Lyric and Ryan. “Cas?”

“Where have you been? I woke up and you were gone. I called your phone but you left it here.” Cas looked concerned.

Dean sat down at the kitchen table. “I went out for coffee with John.”

“And?” He asked genuinely concerned.

“It didn’t go so well.” Dean forced back hormonal tears, but one got loose, followed by a few more.

“What happened?” Cas turned to Dean.

“We were going to mend fences. We had been texting for a little while. I was getting him caught up about what he missed and we set a date to actually talk in person father to son. That just kicked up dirt and ruined everything.” Dean ran his hands through his hair. “It brought up so many memories of my past. I got so angry at him.”

“You have that right, Dean. He abused you for more than a decade.” Cas wiped Dean’s tears away. “What parts of your past did he kick up the most?”

Dean cleared his throat. “Uh, I was 12 and I back talked John one night during dinner and John started yelling and beat me at the dinner table. Sammy was 8 at the time and called CPS. The police came in while John was behind me choking me. My head was shoved so far up Johns as—butt that I covered for him saying that I was choking on food.”

“What happened to Sam?” Cas was wide eyed.

“I took the beating for Sam. That’s my job.” Dean didn’t look at Cas. He was roughly rubbing circles into his stomach.

Cas leaned forward to Dean and took Dean’s hand. “You need to go lay down and calm down. The boys aren’t liking you acting like this. Please, go lay down and try to get some more sleep. When you wake up I’ll make some hot chocolate and Us and the whole family can watch movies all day.” Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s knuckles.

“I love you.” Dean sniffed. “God, I hate pregnancy hormones.”

“Just a few more months to go.” Cas reinsured as Dean stood. “I love you too.”

Dean walked up the steps biting his fingernails. Cas didn't need to know what he thought about John just yet. He didn't need to know that he wish John had a bullet between the eyes or that he wished that he had had the strength to beat John's head in with a crowbar when he had the chance that day in Bobby's garage. Cas didn't need to know that yet...he didn't need to know that ever...

**_***_ **


	34. Big, Fat Caterpillar

            Castiel wakes up with Dean wide belly on his side and he can’t help but to smile and lower himself to it. “Good morning you two.” He says, and presses light kisses all over his husband’s belly.

            Dean is awake and looking down at him. “Are you having fun?” He asks playfully. Castiel smiles, “I just can’t wait till I see my two sons.” He kisses Dean’s belly button, sitting up and getting out of bed.

            “Really?” Dean asks as if it was a surprise. Castiel turns around as he is peeling off his boxers and put fresh ones on, “Yes Dean. I want these sons as much as you do. Why do you seem so surprised?”

            “Because of the giant fight we had early. Do you not remember?” Dean asks clumsily getting out of bed himself. Once Castiel has his new boxers on and pants, he walks to his lover wrapping his arms around him like they were one person.

            “I remember sweetie, and I forgive you and I understand completely why you did it.” He smiles and moves around to the front of Dean. “It turns out that deep down I really wanted them and when I found out that there was two I was even more excited.”

            He lets go, and puts his shirt on. “I can hear one of the twins crying and it’s probably Ryan so I’ll be back.” Castiel says all at once walking to the twins room seeing Ryan stomping his feet and grabbing at the poles with his tiny hands.

            “Ryan, we’re always gonna come back, we promise. No tears, no tears.” Castiel says picking him up. As soon as he was in Cas’s arm, he calmed as he always did. “See Ryan, I’m right here. No more tears, no more screaming.” He says in his baby voice, rocking him in his arms, back and forth.

            “I’m surprised you didn’t wake up your sister.” He says while Ryan is slowly stopping his tears. “Stay Papa, Stay!” Ryan pouted and grabbed at the fabric of Cas’s shirt. “I’m staying Ryan, I’m here. Papa’s not going anywhere. Do you wanna go watch some cartoons while your sister sleeps?” Castiel asks his youngest son.

            “Stay Papa!” He yells again, not exactly answering his question. Castiel goes and sits on the rocking chair and sits Ryan in his lap. “I’m gonna read you a story, is that okay?”

            Ryan wasn’t in the best mood so he was pouting, but Castiel knew that this or cartoons always calmed him down. “I got your favorite book Ryan, look!” Cas smiles as he picks up the book ‘ _The Very Hungry Caterpillar.’_ When they bought the book it came with a stuffed animal caterpillar just like the one in the book that Ryan had fallen in love with.

            “Cat-a-pill-r!” He says stretching his arms out to grab the stuffed caterpillar on the shelve next to the book. Cas handed it to him as he opened the book. He read the first line aloud getting the little boy’s attention.

            ‘ _In the light of the moon a little egg lay on a leaf._ _One Sunday morning the warm sun came up and pop! Out of the egg came a tiny and very hungry caterpillar.’_

            “Cat-a-pill-r! Cat-a-pill-r!” He yelled showing his father the caterpillar in his hands. Castiel smiled.

            _‘He started to look for some food. On Monday he ate through one apple. But he was still hungry! On Tuesday he ate through two pears. But he was still hungry! On Wednesday he ate through three plums. But he was still hungry! On Thursday he ate through four strawberries. But he was still hungry! On Friday he ate through five oranges. But he was still hungry!’_ Castiel read in his narrator voice.

            Ryan seemed interested as Castiel flipped the page. ‘ _On Saturday he ate...’_ Castiel showed Ryan all the different foods on the page. “Cake!” He said pointing at a cupcake which was close enough in Cas’s book. “Yes Ryan, he even ate through a cupcake!”

            ‘ _That night he had a stomach-ache.’_ He tickles Ryan’s belly a little bit, making him giggle loudly; surprisingly not waking his twin sister.

            ‘ _The next day was Sunday again. The caterpillar ate through one nice green leaf, and after that he felt much better.’_ Castiel said and Ryan clapped. “Yay cat-a-pill-r!” Ryan cheered. It made Castiel feel happy on the inside.

            ‘ _Now he wasn’t hungry anymore- and he wasn’t a little caterpillar any more. He was a big, fat caterpillar!’_

Castiel nearly dies laughing when Ryan looks up questioning Castiel as he says, “Dada?” He asks timidly. Castiel was going to have to tell Dean this later. “Yes, like Dada.” Castiel chuckles and continues to read.

            ‘ _He built a small house, called a cocoon, around himself. He stayed inside for more than two weeks. Then_ _he nibbled a hole in the cocoon, pushed his way out...’_ Castiel flipped the page and Ryan clapped once again. _‘He was a beautiful butterfly! The End.’_

            When Castiel tried to close the book Ryan shook his head. “No, stay!” He yells, dropping his head onto Cas’s lap. “I can’t stay here all day Green Bean. Your brothers and sisters are going to start waking up and we’re going get to eating breakfast and then playing with the family.” He says, kissing his soft cheek. When Castiel starts to get up with him in his arms Ryan starts pouting again, until he sees Dean in the hallway.

            “Dada! Dada! Cat-a-pill-r!” He shouts and Castiel starts laughing. He only laughs more when Dean shows his confusion and picks up Ryan, sitting just above his belly.

            “Did Papa read you your favourite book this morning?” Dean asks him, and Ryan nods grabbing a hold of Dean’s shirt. Castiel is still laughing as he puts the book and stuffed animal away and picks Lyric up as she starts to awake.

            “What’s so funny?” Dean asks as Castiel smiles. “I’ll tell you later.”


	35. Pregnancy Pains

Dean just wanted the babies out at this point. He still had three more months and he hated every moment. With the Sweet peas he was already on bedrest so he didn’t have to deal with the demands of carrying three kids, with Riley it wasn’t too bad, he didn’t gain much weight with him. Now he was never comfortable no matter where he was. He had no energy.

He slugged out of the bedroom and started down the stairs. He could hear the voices of his daughters and son already laughing and joking while watching TV…he forgot to brush his hair before he came down…dammit. He held his back with on hand ran his fingers through his hair with the other. He stepped into the living room and the whole couch plus his recliner was taken by the kids. He sighed and waddled uncomfortably to the kitchen where Cas was finishing feeding Lyric and Ryan.

He pulled out a chair and sat down. He groaned and rubbed his belly up and down the center. “Morning, grumpy.”

“I am starting to hate this.” Dean mumbled.

Cas looked at Dean and frowned. “I’m sorry, baby. Is someone in your recliner?”

“Yeah…they’re fine…I just…today’s just already a bad day.” Dean straightened his back and gripped Cas’s chair.

“I’ve got a handle on the kids. I was gonna take them with me when we went baby clothes shopping. You don’t have to go if you don’t wanna. I understand. I have been pregnant with twins twice. I know what you’re going through.” Cas softly smiled.

Dean felt his stomach harden and the feeling in his lower back of tightness. Dammit…Braxton Hick Contractions. He gripped his stomach and groaned. “Dammit…”

“What?” Cas was getting worried. “Are you ok?”

“Fine…just Braxton hicks…” Dean mumbled as it started to fade. “No, Cas, I wanna go. We all will just have to take a few breaks so I can sit down. It’s a freaking baby store. They will have chairs.”

“We will leave whenever you’re ready. I’ll go herd the kids to get changed and clean up the green beans. You take your time getting dressing and on your feet.” Cas smiled kissing Dean then lifting Ryan into his arms then Lyric.

He listened to Cas playfully ordered their kids off to their room to get changed. He hoisted himself up and leaned on the kitchen table for a moment. He leaned forward to take some pressure off his back. He sighed in relief. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?” Dean answered not moving. He didn’t hear anyone speak so he stood up straight and turned around. Dot and Ethan stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Are the babies moving today?” Dot asked putting her arms behind her back; smiling.

Dean couldn’t help but smile. “They are moving. That’s not making Daddy comfy.”

They dashed over to Dean and plastered their faces to Dean’s stomach. They rubbed their hands up and down Dean’s abdomen. “Hey there, baby brother. This is your big sister Dot and Ethan.”

“Daddy and Papa have been telling us that you guys are runnin out of room. Daddy doesn’t like that. Can y’all make it a little easy for Daddy, please? Just for a little longer. Daddy has been getting grumpy and we don’t like him grumpy.”

“Sweet peas, I’m right here, you know.” Dean laughed. They girls giggled and moved their faces away from Dean’s belly but then placed their other hands on his stomach. “Are y’all ready to leave soon?”

“Yeah. We wanted to get ready fast so we could feel the babies kick.” Ethan smiled.

“Where’s Haley?” Dean ran his fingers through their hair.

Dot felt one of the boys kick her hand and she flinched and stepped back. Her smile got wider. “One of them kicked my hand!” she squealed and jumped up in excitement.

“I wanna feel one.” Ethan pouted.

Dean took Ethan’s wrist. “Hold on, sweetie, one of them is kicking right here.” He slid his oldest daughter’s hand to the other side.

She squealed and pulled back her hand. “I felt him move!”

“Alright, girlies, Daddy has to go get changed. It might take a little while cause he can’t bend like he used to.” Dean waddled out of the kitchen.

The girls followed him. “Do you and Papa have names for the boys yet?” Ethan asked.

“No, we haven’t found any good ones.” Dean gripped the hand rail on the stairs.

“Me, Ethan and Haley have been brainstorming on some names.” Dot proclaimed as they marched behind Dean slowly.

“That’s great, guys, tell me all about when I’m done getting changed.” Dean smirked as he reached the top already winded.

He walked into the bedroom and the stopped in the doorway. “Daddy, when are the babies gonna be born?”

“Right around 3 months from now, Ethan.” Dean sighed.

“Can we help?” Dot asked.

Dean cocked his head to the side. “Help with what? You already are helping just enough.”

“When you are in labor can we help?” Ethan answered for her sister.

“Y’all are asking a lot about that kind of stuff. Where are you learning these kind of stuff?”

“Uncle Sam was telling us. We were asking how the babies were gonna come out and Uncle Sam told us that for carrier like you and Papa the baby comes out of an opening between your legs, and for girls the baby comes out from between the leg.” Ethan explained.

“He also said that labor is painful, cause the baby is bigger than the opening. He said that you would like a calm environment, but we could help if we stayed out of the way.” Dot finished.

Dean nodded. “I’ll talk with Uncle Sam later, but I really have to get some clothes on, girlies.”

It took near an hour but they all got in the car and drove to the near baby store. The girl hopped out of the car and Riley slowly climbed out. Dean carried Ryan and Cas carried Lyric. Riley decided he was going to hold Dean’s hand today.

20 minutes into the shopping trip Dean was feeling the pain. Fortunately, Riley let go of his hand so he could either pressed on his back or try to lift his stomach a little. “What do you think, Dean? I mean we already have a lot of clothes from Riley and Ryan, but that not enough for both the boys.”

“We should get what we came here for, but hey look a chair.” Dean sarcastically remarked and headed for said chair. “Look Ryan, you and Daddy get to sit down.”

“Do you want me to hang out with you or do you want me to look around?” Cas asked lifting Ryan out of Dean’s lap.

“You and the kids pick out some cute and bad ass clothes for the boys. I’ll catch up when my back quits screaming…or you can just grab me when y’all are ready to leave.” Dean shifted in his sleep to find the right position.

Cas nodded and Dean gently rubbed his giant swell. “Excuse me?” He heard it was a male voice.

He looked up and an older, but way younger than him, man and woman stood in front of him. “Oh, I’m sorry, did you wanna look at the chair?”

“Oh no,” The man laughed. “You’re Mr. Winchester, right?”

“Yeah? Well, Winchester-Novak…” Dean sat up some and showed the gold band around his ring finger. “May I ask who you are?”

“I’m Reid Davis and this is my wife Peyton. You probably don’t remember us. You taught our English class…God…like 15-16 years ago. It was like your first year.”

“Wow, ya’ll have really grown up. I do remember you two. Reid, you were the football star and Peyton, you were the straight A student who hated each other.” Dean smiled. “Y’all must have not hated each other if y’all got married.”

“Yeah, we started dated Junior year in college and got married right after we graduated.” Peyton wrapped an arm around Reid’s waist.

“Y’all are making me feel old and I’m only 38.” Dean smiled.

“I can see you have been busy.” Reid smiled pointing to Dean’s swell.

Dean laughed and rose to his feet. “Yeah, twins here. The other 6 should be somewhere.”

“Did you have all of them?” Peyton asked in awe.

“I had four of them. One set of triplets and a single. My husband had the other two who are twins.” Dean held his back. “It was great talking with you guys. Keep doing what you are doing. Come and find me sometime I still work at the high school.”

“It was great talking with you.” Reid smiled and walked off his Peyton.

Dean easily found his family. “Cas, I feel old.”

“What makes you say that? You’re not even 40 yet.” Cas shrugged and placed a onesie in the cart.

“Two former students of mine came up to me. I taught them 16 years ago. They were in the first class I taught, the first year I started teaching.”

“Baby, you’re not old. You have been teaching since you got out of college. You’ve been teaching for 16 years cause you started when you were just 22.” Cas turned the cart around. “On that note, I think we should go home before you start telling me you think you are fat too. I will tell you again. You are not old and you are not fat. You are beautiful, young, and pregnant. Once you are not pregnant you will be skinny.”

“Fine.” Dean mumbled. “Let’s go home.”

“I second that.” Cas pushed the cart to the check out.

_******* _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So me and MCRgurl are going to be on vacation for a week and are not going to be posting any chapters until we get back. Here's a chapter while you wait, but we are just going on vacation. We will see y'all soon :D


	36. Baby it's Cold Outside

 

_1 ½ months later..._

            Snow was a beautiful part of nature. What wasn’t beautiful was all the preparing for it; especially it being a big snow storm. They didn’t get it much where Castiel and Dean lived, but this year it was going to happen.

            With the kids back in school Castiel was left with the Green Beans to himself while he shopped for the necessary supplies for a snow storm. He had forgotten how cute one year olds looked all wrapped up in tiny little jackets and fuzzy boots.

            He had already gotten three gallons of milk and water, plenty of snacks, and extra things to keep them warm. Maybe he got a pink zebra blanket for himself – of course he’d tell everyone it was for the girls. But before he could put one in the cart, Ryan was grabbed onto it. Castiel laughs and got two – or maybe three when Lyric pointed at a cow printed one.

            By the time he is done shopping, he gets going home as Lyric seemed to be getting crankier than usual, and Ryan was just tired. He locks the front door, puts all his items away, letting Ryan and Lyric take their naps.

            Only about five minutes go by before Castiel is hearing one of youngest crying. He gets up and walks in only to see Lyric on her knees with her hands gripping the bars of her crib.

            “Princess, what’s gotten into you today?” Castiel whispers, picking her up. The answer is clear as soon as he does.

            “You’re very hot Green Bean; don’t tell me you’re sick.” Castiel says walking with her to his and Dean’s room. He puts his hand lightly on her forehead and frowns. “You’ve certainly got a fever. That’s not good, now is it?”

            Lyric continued to cry in Cas’s arm as he tries to find his baby medicine. “Don’t tell me we fu—freaking ran out.” Cas trips over his words. They in fact had run out. “Lyric, I’m so sorry, once Ryan wakes up, we’re gonna head back to the store okay?”

            Lyric’s answer is not what Castiel wanted; although he didn’t think anyone wanted to be vomited on. Vomit ran down his shirt to his pant along with Lyric’s shirt. Of course that wasn’t it as she lets out a little more and then begins to cry harder. “Doll-baby, you’re gonna take a bath with me okay? Daddy will be home shortly.” Cas smiles weakly.

            He turns on warmer water to fill the bathtub as he grabs the baby monitor from beside his and Dean’s bed. He takes off Lyrics clothes then his own, stopping the water in the tub and getting in. Lyric sits on his lap and whines as Castiel kisses the top of her head and holds her close.

            Castiel hears the front door open and many voices with it. “Babe, we’re home!” He hears from Dean. “In our bathroom!” Cas yells back, although it make Lyric cry more. “I’m sorry Green Bean, it’s gonna be okay.”

            Dean waddles in with a confused face as he sees a crying Lyric in Cas’s lap. “She’s sick.” Cas explains. “You’re kidding me?” Dean says, one hand on his stomach, one on his back.”Nope.” Castiel says, trying to cheer up his daughter.

            “She threw up on herself and me so that’s why we are taking a nice bath. Of course, she is not enjoying it; therefore, I am not either.” Castiel gives a frown and kisses Lyric’s head as they get out of the tub. Dean waddles himself over to his daughter and wipes her tears away while new ones appear.

            “Did you give her anything?” Dean asks, frowning at his baby girl. Castiel gives Dean Lyric for a minute while he dresses, then comes back to get his daughter into her diaper. “No, we ran out and from the looks of things outside, she’s out of luck.” When they walk into the twins room they see Ryan’s head pecking out from the crib. “Da-da!” He yells with a smile. Dean goes over to him while Castiel puts Lyric on the changing table. “At least one Green Bean is doing fine.” Cas says to Dean, finishing Lyrics diaper. He was not going to make her wear anything else.

            Dean picks up Ryan and sits him next to Lyric on the changing table. Lyric whines with a grumpy face, moving her arms and legs as if they were a toy to fling around.

            “Ryan’s hair is just like yours, you know?” Dean smiles, trying to fix it only for it to go back into its weird, bed head look. Cas nods. “He’s the first one surprisingly.”

            “Yeah, he is special,” Dean pauses for a second looking over at Cas with a grossed-out face. “One of them just took the most nasty smelling dump I have ever smelt – oh my gosh, that’s horrible.” Dean says.

            Ryan is smiling in Dean arms, “It better not be you, mister giggles.”

            “It’s not!” Cas says plugging his noise. “Lyric had a bad case of diarrhea.” Castiel frowned as he undoes the diaper. The smell enters everyone’s nose. “Okay, I’ll be back when pooper trooper over there is done.” Dean says with Ryan, waddling quickly out of the room.

 

            Of course to Cas’s luck she wasn’t done when he opened the diaper and more of it comes out of her butt like an explosion. “Lyric – oh my gosh, Lyric!” Castiel about yells trying to make sure nothing gets on the table or especially the floor.

            Nothing gets anywhere and with a happy sigh Castiel changes her once again. He picks up the sweating one year old, and takes her into the living room. Although she was sick, her favourite duck laid on the floor and she still in fact wanted it.

            Castiel grabbed it and sat on the couch, turning the channel to some cartoon, hoping it would settle her down. Dean walks in and sits on the couch with letting his eyes shut. “I think she has gastroenteritis.” Castiel says looking at Dean. Lyric was only pouting as she saw the flashing colors on the TV.

            “I’m sorry; I don’t speak the language you just spook in.” Dean says with a sassy smirk on his face. Castiel rolls his eyes, “The stomach flu.”

            Dean nods. “Isn’t that contagious?”

            “Yes, so how about you wash your hands and not get to close to her. Gastroenteritis is not good for the baby boys.” Castiel says, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “The kids shouldn’t be near her either. That’s all we need – more kids sick.”

            Dean puts both his hands on his stomach and nods. “Are you okay Dean? Don’t tell me you have it already!” Castiel worried.

            “No baby, I’m fine. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter ends at a weird spot. You'll see why very soon in the next chapter which will be very long! -MCRgurl


	37. That's Just Our Luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because we love y'all so much, we decided to make this one chapter the longest of them all. We the long, long wait...you're gonna love this chapter...i hope you enjoy :D

**_A Couple Hours Earlier…_ **

“Don’t y’all just love the cold weather?” Dean walked around the room. “Y’all are lucky. I almost didn’t show up today.”

He was just rambling while his students were doing their assignment. A few of the student who had finished sat there listening to him. “Do you think we are going to have a snow day tomorrow?” A student asked.

“God, I hope so. I really don’t want to drag my inflated ass to this place through the snow.” Dean slowly pulled himself into his stool. “Not that I don’t like teaching or seeing y’all smiling faces, but I’m getting to big to be moving around.”

“When are you gonna go on paternity leave?” A girl asked.

“Whenever these nuggets are born. Today on the other hand they are giving me a hard time. Braxton Hicks Contractions aren’t as terrible as real ones, but they are just as annoying.” Dean rubbed circles in his belly that had dropped a week earlier. “Once class is over I’m going to go pick up my kids and heading home.”

“Who are you going to make the sub while you are gone?” Another asked.

Dean shifted in his seat. “I got Mrs. Robinson to teach y’all when I’m gone.” He looked at the clock. There was about five minutes left in class. “Alright guys, there five minutes left. Start packing up.”

“When do you think you are gonna have the twins?” A girl asked.

“I don’t know, Susie. My due date is in 2 weeks, so any day now.” Dean shrugged as tried to get out of the chair. He flopped down on the rolling chair he has had since the sweet peas. “God, I wish it would be sooner than later.”

“Mr. Winchester?” Charlie poked her head in as the bel rang. She quickly hopped into the room. Once the kids exited she pulled Dean’s stool over to Dean’s desk. “How are you today?”

“I’m just ready to go home.” Dean leaned back rubbing both hands down his belly. “I’m leaving in a few minutes when I get everything done.”

“What do you have left?” Charlie stood and moved the stool. “If it anything I can do, I’ll do it and you can go head on to the elementary school.”

“No, no, I’ve got taken care of, Char.” Dean slowly tried to stand up but failed.

Charlie pulled the papers out of Dean’s hands and helped him up. “Do you just have to write the assignment on the board?”

“Yeah, seriously, Charlie, I can do that.” Dean pouted.

“Go get your kids and go home, now mister.” She pointed to the door.

“Fine, fine, I’m going.” Dean grabbed his things and walked towards the door. “Bye, Charlie.”

_*** &^%$#%^&*()&^%$#*&^%$** _

He waited in the car as little K-5th graders trickled out of the school. Soon he saw his three girls and little boy dashed towards the Impala. “Hi Daddy!” Ethan blurted out as he flopped in the passenger seat. Riley jumped into his car seat behind Dean , Dot and Haley seat in the rest of the seat.

“How was high school?” Haley asked.

“They think it’s gonna snow real bad tonight.” Dean quipped.

“Does that mean we aren’t gonna have school tomorrow?” Dot asked practically jumping in her seat.

“Maybe, darling. For right now, until told other wise, there will be school.” Dean turned onto the main road. It took 15 minutes to get home. He saw Cas’s rust bucket of a mini van in the driveway as they all exited the car. The kids stood patiently at the door shivering while Dean slowly waddled over. He opened the door and they all darted towards their rooms. “Babe, we’re home.” He called toeing off his shoes.

“In our bathroom.” Cas called back. After finding out that Lyric was sick and they didn’t have an baby Tylenol Dean flopped on the couch. “I think she has gastroenteritis.”

Still to this day Dean gets baffled and amused by Cas’s doctor language that he think Dean understands. He smirked. “I’m sorry; I don’t speak the language you just spoke in.”

“The stomach flu.” Cas answered as he rolled his eyes.

“Isn’t that contagious?” Dean blinked.

“Yes, so how about you wash your hands and not get to close to her. Gastroenteritis is not good for the baby boys.” Cas said kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “The kids shouldn’t be near her either. That’s all we need – more kids sick.”

There was a strong twitch in his stomach; it was longer than the others he had been having all day. He placed both hand on his stomach. He just nodded. Cas noticed. He was already a little freaked about Lyric. He could add to the drama. He just had to get Cas to go to the close CVS or Walgreens soon.

“Are you okay Dean? Don’t tell me you have it already!” Cas asked lowering his feet from the table and sitting up.

“No, baby, I’m fine.” Dean removed his hands. “I promise.”

“I don’t like seeing her suffer like this.” Cas hummed nervously.

Dean sat up. “Go out to the near store and buy some baby Tylenol, right now.”

“It’s starting to snow out there.” Cas pointed at the window.

“Then be careful. I’m not going to watch her poop or vomit until the snow melts.” Dean remarked.

Cas nodded and stood up. “Give me 20 minutes tops.” He leaned over and kissed Dean.

Once Cas left Dean groaned. “Not now, guys. Can’t you wait just a few more days.” He watched Ryan crawl around in the play pin. He watched the TV and clapped his hands with the cartoons. Ryan giggled. “I know, buddy.”

Lyric whimpered. She kicked her legs and let out a cry. “Da-da!”

Dean pulled himself off the couch and over to his daughter. He bent over and grabbed the coffee table and lowered himself to his knees and picked up his youngest daughter. He climbed back up to his feet. “Shhh, darling, I know, your tummy hurts. Papa went to get you some special juice to make things a little better for you.”

Plus side of having a huge baby bump. He rested Lyric butt on his swell. He placed one hand on his back and rubbed the girl’s back. “Daddy! It’s snowing outside!’ He heard one of the girls yelled. He heard the herd dash down the stairs.

“Uh-huh.” Dean nodded bounced Lyric gently.

“Where’s Papa?” Riley asked.

“He went to the store to pick up medicine for Lyric. She’s sick, so can y’all go back up stairs or go into the kitchen please. We don’t want y’all sick either.”

“But Daddy it’s snowing!” Dot bounced.

“I know, baby. Please, go upstairs and watch the snow.” Dean looked down at the pale baby. “Now.” He demanded when he noticed they hadn’t moved. They are jumped as scampered to the stairs. Dean walked into the kitchen He looked through the fridge. He gently rubbed Lyric’s tiny feet. “Ah, here we go, baby girl. This should make your tummy a little better.” He had found a thing of yogurt. It was usually part of his lunches at school, but it has been known to help upset tummies. He has 6 kids. He sat down with a baby spoon and brought it to Lyrics lips.

She declined and flailed her arms. She went for a cry but Dean placed the spoon past her lips. She smacked her lips together and swallowed. She looked up at Dean. He scrapped the extra yogurt off her lip and refilled the spoon and tried again with positive results. She got half way done when she didn’t want any more.

“Done, Green Bean?” Dean asked stilled gently rubbing her foot. It seemed to be relaxing her a tad. He stood with her still in his eyes. He grabbed the yogurt and spoon. He threw the snack in the trash and the spoon in the sink. He turned and felt another twitch in his abdomen. It hit him by surprise. He grabbed the counter and gasped. “Real, that was real.”

He walked back into the living room and looked at the clock, it had been 15 minutes. He sat down on the couch and bounced Lyric gently who seemed a little better; still warm but in less pain. He heard the front door opened. “Dean? I’m home.” Cas walked quickly into the living room. He saw Lyric in Dean’s arms. “Did something happen?”

“No, she started fussing so I fed her some yogurt and rubbed her feet. She had calm down some, but still has a fever.” Dean stopped bouncing her.

“Well, I got ginger ale, saltines, and baby Tylenol.” Cas sat down beside Dean and took Lyric into his arms. “Hey, String bean. Papa has medicine for you.”

Dean opened the medicine bottle and filled the little baby medicine applicator. Lyric willingly opened her mouth thinking about the yogurt. She swallowed the not so tasteful medicine and whimpered. “You did so well, baby bird. I’m so proud of you.” Dean cooed.

“I’m gonna go see if I can get her to sleep for a little while.” Cas stood.

“I’ll be here.” Dean shifted in his seat and leaned back. He closed his eyes and must have fallen asleep for a few minutes cause he woke up getting another pain in his stomach. He sat up quickly and groaned. Cas was walking down the stairs.

“Once the Tylenol kicked in she passed out.” Cas spoke until he saw Dean. “You ok?”

“Yeah—Yeah, just contraction…” Dean looked up at Cas. “They are 15 minutes apart.”

“Contractions?” Cas stood wide eyed. “Really? Today?”

“Yes, Cas. Don’t get your panties in a twist. This is only the beginning. We stay here until I feel we need to go. In the mean time let the school know and let Sam and Ruby know.” Dean began to stand.

Cas walked over to his husband. He pressed his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “Lay down, baby. You know what Anna said. Lay on your left side.”

“I’m fine, Cas. I can walk.” Dean tried again, but got the same results.

“You are going to lay down for a little while. You have been on your feet all day at work and haven’t really sat down since you got home. Rest. I got everything under control.” Cas walked away.

Dean grunted and laid down on his left side on the couch. He begrudgingly closed his eyes and fell asleep again. He must have slept through a few contractions cause when he woke the TV was on a different channel, the kids were watching TV and they were all in pajamas. He sat up and yawned. He looked at the clock and saw that he slept for four hours. It was 9:30. He cleared his throat. “Sweet peas? Y’all have 30 minutes until bedtime.”

“But it’s gonna be a snow day tomorrow.” Ethan answered. Dot and Haley gave puppy dogs eyes.

“Doesn’t mean y’all are gonna stay up. Come on, Ri. It’s your bedtime.” Dean stretched his hands out to the Carrot.

“Five more minutes?” He begged.

“Come on, Carrot.” Dean repeated as the 6 year old walked over to his father and took his hand. They climbed the stairs and stepped down the hall. “Riley, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah, Daddy?”

“You know how I’m close to having the twins?” Dean smiled as Riley climbed in bed and he sat at the end. “Well, Daddy is gonna have the babies really soon.”

“Really? When!?” Riley jumped in his bed.

Dean settled the kids down. “Yeah, bub, probably sometime tomorrow.”

“When are you gonna go to the hospital?” Riley asked.

“When I feel good and ready to head out. That aint gonna leave for a while.” Dean ran his fingers through Riley’s hair. “You sleep tight, bed bug. Don’t go biting any of your sisters.”

Riley giggled. “Daddy, I’m not a bed bug!”

“Are you sure, because a little birdy told me you were sneaking into Haley’s room and sleeping in her bed.”

“I had a nightmare.” Riley shrugged.

“I know, Haley can be a little mama bird, but you need to sleep in your own bed. Aint no monsters gonna hurt you, ya little monster. They wouldn’t probably just accept you as one of their own.” Dean smiled.

“Daddy.” Riley giggled.

“Sleep tight, Carrot.” Dean kissed his forehead. “I love you, buddy.”

“Love you too, Daddy.” Dean turned off the light and cracked the door shut. He got halfway down the hall when a contraction caught him by surprise.

He gasped and grabbed his belly. “Argh…” He grabbed the wall until it passed. “Cas…”

The man walked out of the nursery. “Dean? You’re awake.”

“And contracting.” Dean groaned. Cas walked over to him and placed his hand on Dean’s belly. “God, they got strong fast.”

“You were asleep for four hours.” Cas answered. “Come on , let’s get you in the bed room for a little while.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I just put Riley down for bed. How’s Lyric?”

“Still asleep. She should be waking soon. I give her more medicine and give her some liquids.” Cas helped him onto the bed. “You need to relax and keep time on those contractions.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean waved him off. “The girls wanna stay up cause of the snow day. I told them no.”

“I would have said the same thing.” Cas nodded. Dean managed to stay relaxed for an hour before the contractions sped up. They were around 6 minutes apart. They girls managed to puppy dogged eyes their way into staying up half an hour later. Dean was starting to sweat and the pain was increasing.

“Have you called Sam?” Dean groaned at the tail end of a contraction as Cas entered the room after getting Lyric back to sleep.

“I called him shortly after you fell asleep on the couch. He said to called when y’all were leaving for the hospital and they would rush over.” Cas took Dean’s hands.

“Have you called the school?” Dean stood off the bed.

“They said your paternity leave can start now and should end the end of February.” Cas helped Dean into the bathroom. “Good from here.”

Dean nodded and did his business. “Cas, my water broke.”

“Before or after you start peeing?”

“Why does it matter? Either way my pants are wet because my water broke and I still peed in the toilet.” Dean sarcastically remarked as he walked out. Cas handed him new boxers and sweat pants.

“Want me to call Sam?” Cas helped him out of the soiled clothes. “We can head to the hospital now.”

“No, A little longer. Two or three hours more.” Dean shook his head. “I can handle it.”

He couldn’t handle it. An hour later at 11 the contractions were agony and he couldn’t contain his volume. “Shhh, Dean, just breathe. I called Sam, he should be on his way. We can leave in 10 minutes.”

“NO.” Dean groaned as he leaned forward on the couch. “Get the stuff and put it in the car. We gotta leave now.”

Cas phone started ringing. “Hello?”

“Hey, Cas, we have a little problem. I’m heading to your house, but it’s gonna take a little while. The road are iced over and I don’t wanna wreck. If you wanna go ahead and head out I’ll be there is a little while.”

“That’s no problem. Dean and I have to go now, Dean insists on it.” Cas ran up the stairs as he hung up. He grabbed the over night bag and set it at the top of the stairs. He quickly packed a diaper bag for both Lyric and Ryan, making sure there was medicine for Lyric. He put the sleeping twins in the carrier and brought them down stairs.

“Papa? Where are you going with the twins?” Dot asked rubbing her eyes.

“Dottie, Papa and Daddy are going to the hospital. The baby boys are ready to be born. Uncle Sammy should be here shortly. You, Ethan, and Haley are in charge of Ryan until Uncle Sam gets here ok?”

“Yes, sir.” She nodded. “Why are you taking the twins?”

“They are too young to be left alone. Lyric is sick as well.” Cas threw the over night bag and diaper bag over his shoulder. “Go bag to bed, sweetie. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

He went down the stairs and crossed the living room to the back door. “Cas…” Dean gritted his teeth.

“Hold on, baby.” Cas rushed to put the things in the car. He ran and grabbed the twins and got them in quietly without waking them. He stepped back over to Dean handing him his jacket. “Dean, I know you’re in pain but the twins are in the back seat.”

“I know, try to be quiet. I’ll do my best.” Dean mumbled as he walked towards Cas’s death trap on wheel. He slipped into the passenger seat and gripped the handrail.

The hospital was 30 minutes away from their house and they made it 15 minutes down the road before the car shut down. “No, No, no.” Cas mumbled.

Dean leaned forward and looked out the windshield. “Cas, why are we stopping? We don’t have time to stop.”

“Calm down, Dean. The car just shut off.” Cas tried to turn it back on but it stayed dead. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Damn, cell towers are down.”

“Don’t tell me that, Cas.” Dean panicked. “This isn’t the best times for this to happen.”

“I wish I had better new to tell you, baby.”

“Dammit!” Dean groaned as he arched his back. Cas took Dean’s hand. “Cas…”

“Shh, breathe through it, baby.” Cas rubbed the hard swell of Dean’s middle. Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Yeah, that’s it, Dean, make yourself as comfortable as possible.”

Dean somehow turned himself round on his knees and faced the back of the passenger seat. He gripped the head rest and pressed his forehead to it and moaned. He rolled his rolled side to side. “Tell me how to service is, Cas.”

He looked down at his phone and there was one bar. He quickly dialed 911. “911, what is your emergency?”

“My husband is having a baby and my car has broken down. We are stuck in the snow with our baby twins and my husband is pretty far in his labor.”

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m having a hard time hearing you. Can you repeat that?”

Cas was panicking. When he was in college he did night shifts as a paramedic and still remembered most of the codes. “I have a 24 Charlie 32. I repeat a 24 Charlie 32.”

The connection was lost. “Cas.” Dean gritted his teeth and white knuckles the head rest. “What did you tell the operator?”

“That we had a pregnancy that was becoming potentially life threatening and there was an unknown problem.”

“Nngh...” Dean moaned. “We don’t have much time to wait for them, Cas.”

“You’re doing good, honey. If things go more sideways, I have delivered babies before.” Cas rubbed Dean’s back and looked back at the two still sleeping babies. “Let’s hope they got our location.”

“They are 2 minutes apart, Cas.” Dean hummed with his eyes closed. “I’m gonna be delivering these boys in these cars with or without a paramedic.”

“I know.” Cas agreed. After 30 minutes no EMS arrived and Dean was panicking. The temperature was dropping inside the car. Cas tried several more times to get the car to turn on or at least to get the heat to work, but came up with nothing. He kept checking his phone and there was still no service. “Come on, two bars.”

“Cas, It’s no use. The power is out and the cell towers are down” Dean mumbled in between contractions. “Obviously the 911 operator either didn’t know what you were talking about or didn’t get your location in time before the call was dropped…”

Dean hissed and arched his back still facing the back of the passenger seat. “Don’t say that, Dean. I’m gonna get you to the hospital.”

“Before or after I have these twins?” Dean said between breaths.

Cas looked out the driver’s side door. He opened the door and stepped out and closed it again. He walked into the middle of the road trying to look for cars. After a few minutes of nothing he stepped back into the car and Dean was wide eyed. “Dean?”

“They’re coming. They’re coming now.” Dean propped against he dashed and struggled to get his shoes and pants off.

“Wait, wait, Dean, hold on. Just a little longer.” Cas leaned over and touched Dean’s bare knee.

Dean let out a painful breath of air and placed his feet so they slipped into the holes on either side of the seat. He gripped the door handle on his left and the cushion on the right. He leaned his head back until it hit the dashboard and groaned. “I can feel it, Cas, they’re coming.”

“Don’t push yet, baby. Let me see.” Cas moved to try to get a better look. It was difficult and strenuous but he caught a glimpse of what was going on and Den was definitely right. “Breathe like you are blow out a candle.”

“No, I can’t. Cas…I have to—“ Dean begged. Cas sighed. He bit his bottom lip hoping that if he tried to stall a tad the paramedics would arrive. “Nngh, I gotta push.”

“Go ahead, baby. Nothing is stopping you.” Cas answered as his phone rang. His phone rang…He grabbed his phone. Sam’s name popped up. “Sam?”

“Hey, I just wanted to call and let you know that I made it to your house safely and got the kids who woke up back to bed. I also wanted to check in and see if y’all made it to the hospital alright. There was a slight power outage and the lines were down but they have come back on.”

“Cas…need you help! Dammit!” Dean groaned as he pushed.

“Is that Dean?” Sam asked concerned.

“We can’t talk right now, I’ll call you back. Cas hung up and dialed 911 again.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“I need help. My husband is in labor and we are stuck on the side of the road because my car broke down. The temperature is dropping in the car and my 1 year old twin son and daughter are here with me. My husband is giving birth to the first of two right now.”

“Where is your location, sir?”

“We are on the back road to the hospital about 15 minutes away.” Cas gripped Dean’s hand. “Helps on the way, Dean.”

“Great—Argh---hang up the damn phone.” Dean yelled.

“Sir, we have a EMS on the way. What is your husband’s name?”

Cas blinked not even thinking. “This is Dr. Castiel Winchester-Novak. My husband Dean Winchester-Novak is giving birth.” He hung up and set the phone aside and looked at Dean’s progress. “You’re doing good, Dean. Another big push, he’s beginning to crown.”

“Nngh, why can’t I just have a normal labor and delivery?” Dean blurted out.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s sweaty and cold hair. “That’s just not our luck, baby.” Cas stripped off his jacket and held the baby’s head and he slowly slid out of Dean. “One more push, Dean. He’ll be out.”

“I can hear sirens.” Dean groaned as he pushed the first baby boy out. Cas wrapped him up with the cord still attached and brought him to Dean’s chest. The sirens grew louder and Cas watched as blue and red lights flashes grew closer and closer. “Check the Green Beans.”

Cas looked back to the babies and they were both awake and with distressed looks on their faces. Lyric looked pained and Ryan was probably hungry and/or wet. “They are both awake.”

“Go do what you need to.” Dean mumbled.

“No, paramedics are here. They need to examine you before the next one decide to be born.” Cas explained.

“But, Lyric is sick and maybe about to puke or diarrhea. Ryan is probably wet which could lead to a diaper rash for both of them. They need your attention. You’ve giving me your undivided attention for the last few hours. Paramedics are gonna be here in a few moments.” Dean rocked the barely fussing new born. He rubbed his still very swollen middle as two EMT’s looked through the passenger side door.

They opened it and one of them leaned over. “Dean? How are you doing?”

“Tired…sore…anxious for the next one.” Dean answered while the EMT felt up his belly. “We haven’t cut the cord yet.”

“Good, we can do that when he get in the truck. From what it feels like, it seems that the baby is facing down, which is good. It shouldn’t be too much longer. My name is Alfie and this is my partner Hannah. I would like you to carefully get out of the car and get onto the gurney so we can get you in the warm truck.”

Dean did as he was told, Hannah wrapped the newborn in foil to keep his body temperature up. Dean took two steps with bare feet and got on the gurney. They draped and blanket over his legs and waist the two paramedics lifted him to paved ground before rolling him onto the truck. Hannah stayed with Dean until Cas arrived with Lyric and Ryan in his arms and Alfie with the overnight bag and diaper bag.

Alfie got off and headed to the driver’s seat after cutting the cord and delivering the first placenta. Right as they started driving Dean started to contract. It started with his water breaking. “Oh no…” Dean moaned and then gasped with the sudden contraction right behind the splash. “Cas…”

“It’s time again.” Cas lowered Ryan into his carrier and Lyric into hers. He took Dean’s hand.

“He’s coming quicker.” Dean tilted his head back and arched his back.

“Dean, catch your breath. Relax. Do what your body tells you to do. Do you have to push?” Hannah spoke in a calm, soothing tone.

Dean swallowed and took a deep breath and nodded. “He’s moving faster.”

“That’s normal.” Hannah smiled. “It’s ok to push, Castiel and I know what we are doing.”

He pressed his chin to his chest and let out a throaty groan and a painful yell. “Good, baby, keep doing that.”

He groaned again as he pushed. Hannah lifted the blanket to check the progress. “You’re doing great, Dean. He’s crowning.”

He showed no signs of giving up or tiring out yet; maybe because he had had triplets before. He groans and throaty yells were shaky and downright pitiful. Hanna grabbed a birthing blanket and slid it under the baby’s head. “One more push?” Dean panted.

“One more. Make it a good one.” Cas smiled kissing Dean’s knuckles.

With a tiny cry Dean went limp as the last of the Winchester-Novak family entered the world. Dean smiled and let out a breath of relief. “Hold on one second.” Hannah looked confused.

Dean and Cas both whipped their head to her. Dean sat up on his elbow and Cas leaned forward. “What?” They said in unison.

“Looks like the sonogram was wrong. You don’t have two sons…you have a son and a daughter.” Hannah smiled.

“A daughter.” Cas managed to say. Dean stayed silent as Hannah placed the baby girl in his arms and she cut the cord.

“We should be near the hospital. Alfie called ahead and got you a room where you can recover.” Hannah smiled.

Soon they arrived at the hospital and they wheeled Dean away with the two newborns in his arms. He watched Cas get farther and farther away as they made him wait in the waiting room cause of the sick baby that was with him. After several test done to the twins and Den was cleaned up and settled into the room he got to begin breastfeeding his two new bundles of joy. Cas was allowed in a little while later when Lyric was asleep. He thoroughly washed his hands and held his youngest son then his youngest daughter.

“How are we gonna tell the kids about this?” Dean spoke as he watched Cas pace around the room holding both the newborns. “Who would have guessed the nuggets were born in a car?”

“Who would have guessed that the two boys turned out to be a boy and a girl?” Cas smiled. He couldn’t have been happier. “I think I have a name for the girl.”

“Which of the boys names are we gonna go with?” Dean asked before letting Cas give away his girl’s name.

“I like the first boy’s name we had.” Cas rocked the twins side to side. “Can I say the girl name I was thinking about?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Dean yawned.

“Lennox Colette.” He looked down at the little bald headed girl. “What should the boy’s name be? I like the last name we picked.”

“Cayden Michael.” Dean spoke as he slowly blinked. “Those should be their names.”

“I agree, I also think you should go to sleep. You’re exhausted. I’ll be fine with the twins. It’s not like we have dealt with triplets before.” He laughed.

Dean smirked and closed his eyes. He swore he heard Cas coo at the nuggets something along the line of “Welcome to the world, little nuggets.” Before he slipped into a peaceful sleep.

**_***_ **


	38. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! My computer was in the shop ever since last chapter was posted! -MCRgurl

Castiel had a huge smile on his face as he called the house phone when Dean was finally asleep. It rang a couple of times before Sam finally answered. “Hello?”

            “Hey Sam.” His voice was rasp as he hadn’t slept either. Of course he could stay up a little longer to watch over his two sets of twins and husband. “Cas, how’s Dean and the new babies? You got all of worried when you just hung up on me.”

            “Dean is sleeping, Ryan and Lyric are trying to wake up, but aren’t quite awake yet. The nuggets are in the hospital’s nursery. It is one healthy, little boy, and one healthy, little girl.” Castiel smiled. Although his voice was a wreck, he wasn’t one.

            “A girl?” Sam asked, although he seemed happy. Cas grinned, “Yeah, we have little Lennox Colette, and little Cayden Michael.”

            He could hear Ruby say ‘aw’ in the background, which was pleasant to hear. “That’s not even the weirdest thing that has happened in the last 24 hours either Sam. The nuggets were both born in the car. One delivered by me, and I haven’t done it in so many years.” Castiel speaks into the phone, glee coming through his voice.

             “You’re kidding?”

            “No, I’m not. My rust-bucket of a van broke down in the snow, and the cellar towers were all down from the snow. But, we’re all alive and healthy – well Lyric’s still sick but other than that – we’re all alive and healthy!” Cas chuckles at himself. The only reason Lyric was even allowed in the hospital room was because the new born babies weren’t.

            “That’s great Cas. That’s really great.” You could hear the smile in Sam’s voice. “Well, no one is up yet expect me and Ruby so I’ll let you take care of the not-all-that-new twins.”

            “They’re Green Beans. The new ones are the nuggets.” Cas yawns, seeing in the corner of his eye Ryan opening his. “Well no matter, I’ll leave you to it. Call when Dean’s up.”

            “Will do.” Cas spoke, hearing the dial tone. He got up and walked over to the Green Beans, and sits Ryan in his lap as Lyric continued to sleep. Ryan rubs his eyes and looks up at his Papa. “Good Morning, Buddy.” Castiel smirks, and strings his fingers through Ryan’s untameable, light brown hair. Ryan keeps looking up at Castiel and then grabs onto his shirt. “Da-da?” He looks up as if questioning where he was.

            “You wanna see Daddy?” Cas smirks. Ryan hesitates but then decides that nodding is good decision. Castiel scooped the 1 year old up and held him tight as he got up. “Da-da.” Ryan somewhat mumbled pointing at Dean. He started kicking his feet wanting to get on the bed.

            “I don’t know, Bud. Daddy is very, very tired and needs his sleep.” Cas needs some himself as his voice doesn’t even want to come out at this point. Ryan starts to whine and kick his legs more rapid wanting down to his Dad.

            “Okay, okay. Only because I know he can’t get mad at you for waking him up.” Castiel says as he sits Ryan down on Dean’s now soft chest. Cas really hoped that didn’t hurt.

            Soon Ryan crawls up Dean’s stomach grabs Dean’s nose with his tiny fingers. Dean’s eyes blink open to see a smiling 1 year old on him. “Well hello.”

            “Hiii.” Ryan says back, a bit of drool coming from the corner of his mouth getting on Dean’s shirt. Dean sits up the little he could and Ryan hangs on to his shirt. “Did Papa let you up here?” Dean is almost giving Cas a death glare, but Cas knows it’ll go away.

            Ryan nods and tries to grab at Dean’s nose again. Dean grabs his tiny little hand carefully as Ryan giggles. Ryan tries to grab at Dean’s nose once more with his other hand only for Dean to capture it.

            “I got you.” Dean laughs slightly as Ryan is in a giggle fit. Castiel went behind Ryan and picked him up to let Dean sleep once more but frankly Ryan only wanted Dean. He’d been like that his whole life. Ryan started to kick his feet again, “Dow! Dow!” Ryan yelled wanting to be back on the bed. Cas was afraid a meltdown was about to happen.

            “Ssssh, inside voices.” Castiel said, holding Ryan up higher to his chest. Ryan starts kicking at Cas’s stomach, tears forming. “Cas, he can stay by my side while I sleep.” Dean rasped out.

            Ryan was crying pretty loud so Castiel listen and acted upon what Dean said quickly. “Da-daaa!” Ryan cried, holding his arms out and kicking his legs in the air as Castiel tried to get him to sit on the spot Dean made next to himself in the bed.

            He stopped kicking and flailing his legs and arms when he sat next to his Dad, instantly cuddling onto him. “Ssssh. You gotta be happy today Ryan. You’re a big brother now.” Dean says in almost a whisper. Lyric had woken up from Ryan’s cries. Her fever was gone, but Cas could tell she didn’t feel well still.

            Ryan was whimpering in his Dad’s chest, but was quite. “You too Lyric; you’re a big sister now.” Castiel says and smiles, kissing her cheek. They were still a bit hot but not like it were. Next thing Castiel sees is Ryan with his eyes closed on Dean’s chest with Dean asleep. Castiel never knew how Dean did it, but sometimes he just knocked the kids out-cold asleep.        

            He looked Lyric in his arms as she rubbed her eyes. “We should go night-night too.” Castiel said, yawning. He goes and sits on the couch. Maybe he should have called Sam, but he didn’t. And with that he and his daughter fell asleep.


	39. 20 Minutes of Comfortable Silence

He woke up with Ryan not on the bed anymore. He heard light chatter, not too loud. It was bright in the room, even with the blinds drawn down. He closed kept his eyes closed to see if he would drift back asleep but after a while he realized that wasn’t gonna happen. He was laying on his side, he lifted his head and slowly sat up to shift himself. He looked around to find the whole crowd there. “Morning.” He rasped.

“Morning, Daddy.” He got from the Sweet Peas and Carrot.

“Glad to finally have you awake, big brother.” Sam smiled with Blake sitting in his lap.

“Good morning, Uncle Dean.” Blake smiled looking up from the book his was reading with Sam.

Dean ran a hand down his face and through his hair. He turned his head to find The sweet peas drawing on the ground. Riley and Tom sat quietly watched them, not much for drawing. On the couch sat Ruby with Ryan in her arms and Cas beside her cradling Lyric. On the edge of the couch sat Raven, her feet just barely came off the edge of the cushion. Her hands laid gently in her lap and she looked content. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 3.” Cas looked at his watch.

Dean nodded and looked back at Raven. “Raven, darling, are you ok?”

She looked up at him. “She doesn’t like hospitals.” Ruby answered bouncing Ryan on her knee.

“Wanna come sit with me on the bed, sweetie?” Dean shifted over and patted the side of the bed. She brought her hands to her mouth and looked over to Sam for guidance then back over to Dean. “Come on, sweetie. I ain’t gonna bite.” She slid off the couch and walked over to the bed. She climbed up and sat down beside Dean. He wrapped an arm around her. Ethan, Dot and Haley all shot up and climbed up to the end of the bed and smiled. “Are you comfy, Raven?”

She nodded. “Wow, Dean, she really trust you.” Sam smiled.

“What do you mean?” Dean cocked his head to the side.

Ruby spoke before Sam. “We have been talking to Meg for a while to get to know Raven and Blake’s routines and likes and dislike. She is pretty scarred from Crowley. She used to be a bubbly little girl and now she doesn’t trust all of people; barely trust me and Sam. For you to be able to just look at her and get her to snuggle up to you…is amazing.”

“Hey, Raven.” Dean looked down at the girl. “Can you promise me something?” She nodded. “I want you to work on your trust. I remember you when you were a bubbly little girl. I know you are still that girl. Can you do that for me?”

She sat up on her knees and cupped her hand around her mouth and whispered in Dean’s ear. _‘I’m scared, Uncle Dean. I don’t want him to hurt me, Blake or Mommy again.’_

“Oh honey, he isn’t going to hurt you again. He’s gone. You can be yourself again. You don’t have to worry. If you ever have doubt or any worries call me immediately.”

She nodded and seemed to relax a lot. Dean smiled and looked at his daughter who were watching the whole thing. “When are we gonna see the babies?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, when am I gonna see my new babies?” Dean perked up and looked over to Cas.

“Give me a second.” Cas stood with Lyric still in his arms as he walked out of the room. Riley stood by the bed wanting to get up so bad but was too small to hoisted himself up.

“Can I get up, Daddy?” Riley whimpered.

“There’s plenty of room, squirt.” Dean smirked.

He tried to jumped but couldn’t get up. Blake slid off of Sam and walked over to Riley and wrapped his arms around the 1st graders torso and lifted him up onto the bed before go back to Sam but sat down beside Tom who was propped against the wall. “There you go, Ri.”

“Thank you, Blake.” Riley smiled.

Cas came in with a smile. “Make some room guys, they’re here.”

“Alright, everybody for right now go over to the couch with Aunt Ruby.” Dean sat up some more. The girls slid off and helped Riley down. Raven waited for the commotion to settle down before moving to get down. Dean watched her as she slide off the bed and over to Sam.

Sam looked over to Dean with a big smile. The little 4th grader who barely showed in love to Sam or Ruby crawled into Sam’s lap. “Comfy, Rav?”

“Yeah.” She hummed grabbing Sam’s big thumbs and pulling them around her waist. Sam snorted at the action.

Meg stepped in rolling two bassinets into the room and over to Dean. “Afternoon, Dean. They were getting a little restless without food from their Daddy. You’re gonna have to feed them soon.”

“That’s the plan. You have to remember, Meg. This aint my first rodeo.” Dean stretched out his arms. “Let me hold my babies, now.”

“Someone’s eager.” Meg snickered as he lifted the first baby into her arms. “Here is your little boy blue, Mr. Hayden Michael.”

“Hey, buddy.” Dean cooed once he was in his arm. “You’re a big fella. No wonder you were a pain to push out.”

Cas outwardly laughed making Lyric giggle. Dean looked at Cas with a goofy grin. He watched his husband blushed and hid his face behind Lyric who began to pull the man’s hair. “Here is the youngest Winchester-Novak, little Miss Lennox Colette.” Meg sat the tiny baby into Dean’s other arm.

“Here baby girl. Hayden must have been taking some of your food, cause you’re tiny.” Dean rocked her.

“She is a little under weight, but still healthy.” Meg walked over to Sam. “Hey babies.” She crouched down and Blake hugged her neck. Raven stretched out her arms and Meg stood hugged her “daughter”. She talked with them for a hot second and back to Dean. “I’ll leave y’all to get settled, and remember they need to be fed.”

“Bye, Meg.” Cas and Dean replied in unison.

The sweet peas and carrot cooed over the babies for 15 minutes before Sam and Ruby herded them out of the room. They took the green beans so Cas and Dean could have alone time. “We will go home let them play and feed them supper and Sam will drive back to pick y’all up tonight.” Ruby explained.

“Sounds good.” Dean nodded then look back at the babies.

“Unless Dean wants to stay one more night.”

“No I want to get home.” Dean answered without looking away. “Thank you for offering to watch the kids.”

She nodded and walked out of the room to catch up with the family. Dean started to feed the infants and Cas sat propped against eh end of the bed. “Babies number 7 and 8.”

“Yeah.” Dean sighed with a smile. “It’s another challenge I think we can handle.”

“So far there is nothing we can’t handle, baby.” Cas smiled a goofy grin.

Dean hummed in response. “We’re together through thick and thin?”

“Of course. We have been through so much, whatever God has thrown at us we have been able to pull it together and only get stronger.”

“NO more holding anything back. This is the year we open up, through tears, breakdowns, and bottled up emotions we are going to only get closer.” Dean stared Cas directly in the eyes. “You either have both feet in or both feet out, no foot stuck in the doorway.”

“That goes the same to you.” Cas stared with the same amount of seriousness. “I’m all the way in if you are.”

“Then we are breaking down our walls one brick at a time; together.”

“Together.” Cas responded with a smile growing on his face once again. Things are perfect. They managed to fix everything. They had many challenges to face, but right now they are calm and content. Their problems could wait 20 minutes while they sat in a very comfortable, loving silence as they stared into their lover’s eyes.

**_***_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Be Continued...


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